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Joe West is such a crankenstein.

As my dad would say, "What, you got a date or something?"

What's the rush, fool? Baseball is the Great American Pasttime. There are a few things that are better served to be done efficiently, but for a spectator sport, I'm not sure the goal is to just rush through it. I, for one, happen to like the tension of a game like yesterday.

And this is coming for a chick who would toss a slow walker into oncoming traffic and not bat an eye. Or worse yet, the stop-shorters who inexplicably vary their pace and usually just stand pensively at the top of the subway stairs, much to the joy of every other NYer trying to get somewhere.

When I was little, I used to play every piano song I was taught as fast as I could. The faster, the more impressive, the better.

False.

Moonlight Sonata at full speed is just not right.

Same goes for baseball. You play it too fast, you lose all the phrasing and subtleties and emotion that make it so evocative in the first place.

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