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I was walking around the city last night after getting some ad concepting done offsite, and watching the game via windows of the bars in midtown.


It was the first "hey wait a second, it's starting to feel like the end of August!" weather night of the summer, which makes me both sad and happy at the same time (kind of like listening to Radiohead's "Thinking About You") and I couldn't commit to one location to watch the game. It's amazing how much you can extrapolate without being distracted by the freebasing ravings of the YES booth.

It was 2-1 early, and I guess I shouldn't get too spoiled, since they can't ALL be like the 10-0 drubbing they dropped on the M's. But still. I'm getting too old for close games. I think it must be a bell curve or something. Because I used to like the close ones, the excitement and the drama.

Now I'm happy if every game is a total blow out. But my parents? They would rather watch a game that goes 12 innings of pitching dueling, but that ultimately ends in a Yankee loss...then watch a 2 hour, 9-inning homerun derby where the Yankees play like they have a Game Genie stuck in their backs.

Last night they didn't have it. Every time I see the J's play it reminds me so so so much of the Yankees of about 5 years ago. They're good, but they're entertaining delusions of grandeur. The best teams aren't the ones that are winning on the long ball.

Remember how the Yanks tried that? Like, for years? And it didn't work? Well...play small ball, J's. Or don't. I don't really care one way or the other. But cmon you're like a bajillion games back, stop being the thorn in our sides.

Bautista, who is nearly 30 years old, is having a banner year, and single handedly (sort of) won this game for the J's. 2 homeruns and the second one saw him trotting around like I had accidentally pressed "play" twice on my dvr and ended up putting on the game in slow mo. (Not "yes mo" which I'm categorically opposed to because it makes no sense.)

Ok, so I think Bautista is on steroids because I think everyone who is leading the league in homeruns is on steroids. And since he is currently the only guy leading the league in HRs, he is on steroids. (That's my tautology and I'm sticking to it.)

Jose Bautista entered the season averaging a home run every 29.73 at-bats. If he'd maintained that pace through today (438 AB), he would have 14.7 HR (so say, 14-15).

He has 40.




Yeah, I WANT THAT RIGHT FIELDER TESTED FOR STEROIDS!

Hmpf.

Ivan Nova was pulled up to pitch, in standard Yankee fashion. My buddy Jason thinks this guy is like the second coming of Christ. When me and him were talking about the Berkman/Kearns/Kerry acquisitions, he was just like, "WAIT STOP TALKING DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD. JUST TELL ME THAT THEY DIDN'T DEAL IVAN NOVA."

"Ok, they didn't deal Nova."

"OH THANK GOD! Ok, keep going."

Weirdo.

Is he that good? In all honesty, I'm not really well versed in the Yankees farm system. You know how I am, I don't trust any player until I see him play in a professional setting. I don't care if he's the MVP of every minor league award there is. Until he pitches against the big guys, he's not a blip on my radar.

Things got heated when Nova threw one upstairs over Cervelli's head, and Bautista got allll shades of defiant. Bitch, please. Relax. I realllly don't think the kid meant anything.

I read this book "The Last Best League" once (one of my favorite all time books), and there was this part in it about how pitchers, when they throw a wild pitch or hit a batter unintentionally, shouldn't be all "OMG I'M SORRY!" Young pitchers, specifically. They should act like whatever they did was all part of a plan.

So maybe this Nova kid was just doing that. And running with it. Also, I hate when batters get all sniffling and "he hurt my feelings!" after getting hit. Get fired up, get all Sheffield-y. But don't be a little whiny bitch.

"Instinctively, I was kind of upset," Bautista said. "I was just trying to see what kind of reaction I was going to get from him. I was surprised to see he was pretty defiant. He was walking up towards me and flashing his hands up and started yelling."

Grow up, Jose. You sound like a Red Sock when you talk like that.

...cough...Steroidtiz...cough...

So the scoring was pretty minimal tonight. Cano was being Cano. (What's the over under on how long the Post has an "AROD WHO?" headline.)

He doubled in Swish in the 1st to give the Yanks a 1-0 lead.

Bautista had a 2-run homer in the 3rd to give the J's the lead.

Posada doubled in Cano to tie the game in the 6th.

Bautista homered in the 8th to give the J's the lead.

D-Rob blows the game, and I'm going to make a mental note of this, next time I hear a stat like D-ROB HASN'T LET UP A RUN SINCE THE REAGAN ADMINISTRATION. I feel like I hear stuff like that about him all the time, and it sounds suspect.

And that was that.

A lot of mountains out of molehills that game, I tell.

Maybe it's the umps that are being babies. They keep issuing warnings, and it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy. Like American Idol. Ugh. I hate self-fulfilling prophecies. I don't know why. They're aggravating though.

On the 2nd bomb of his night, Bautista took...I'm not kidding...HALF A MINUTE TO ROUND THE BASES. 30 seconds. You know how long that is? Count. Seriously. Or just watch, I guess, would be easier...

"If I was on the other side I'd be mad, but I also understand what he was doing, what it was all about," Overbay said of Bautista's leisurely loop. "It was fun to see."

(You know it's questionable ethics when your own teammates are saying, Umm yeah I could see where that would be kinda bush league...)

Yankees outfielder Curtis Granderson said the slow trot didn't bother him.

I'm sure Grandy was a bit more annoyed about striking out in the 9th. Looking. On a pitch that was--like the homerun trot--questionable.

The Yanks lose. Blech. Boston and TB win. The Yanks are once again tied for first.

Let's change that tonight, no?

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