tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28519865626285512892024-02-02T00:34:35.900-05:00"It's great to be young and a Yankee."<a href="http://www.crazyyankeechick.com">Hall of fame pitcher Waite Hoyt</a>Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.comBlogger872125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-35466373006686079642015-04-24T22:37:00.000-04:002018-04-06T14:46:50.625-04:00In memory of my biggest fan: DadAs you may have noticed, I’ve been less than reliable with the posting for the last year. My dad, the whole reason I even have this passion for baseball, was sick for the past year and half. There was this time I was home and I had just finished watching the game with my him, and I went to my computer to write the recap and he says, "What are you doing?"<br />
<br />
And, you know, I wasn't doing anything that was more fun than hanging out with my dad, so... it wasn't a hard choice. I'd rather be hanging out with him than anything else.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwYge0zPFHb959t3Hz9J2uGl7FutGniRIzkjRVDF2o4lU6xGVflIDHKAA1qy4x8gpEe6MhaOFfCf6B4A5U9t_OlcRRpHfN2NMUn6RJxY0jvstsnC_R_fgSgDqZORIMHmZ8mSAO7ckVg-g/s1600/blowuppicdad.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwYge0zPFHb959t3Hz9J2uGl7FutGniRIzkjRVDF2o4lU6xGVflIDHKAA1qy4x8gpEe6MhaOFfCf6B4A5U9t_OlcRRpHfN2NMUn6RJxY0jvstsnC_R_fgSgDqZORIMHmZ8mSAO7ckVg-g/s1600/blowuppicdad.png" width="268" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My hero.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
He passed away a few weeks ago, before/if/when I resume my normally scheduled recapping, I wanted to honor him with a memorial post. I wanted everyone who reads this to know how amazing the world was with him in it.<br />
<br />
Not that anything I could ever write about him would ever truly capture the superhuman force of nature that he was, but, as my dad always said, “Never strike out looking. At least try to hit it.”<br />
<br />
Swing away.<br />
<br />
I used to make up reasons to call my dad because I knew that, like me, he wasn’t a phone talker. The concept of calling “just to chat” was preposterous.<br />
<br />
So I’d call him with some ruse, like “Dad, I’m completely blanking on this. But how many cans of tomatoes do I need for sauce? And do I need crushed or diced??”<br />
<br />
I never tired of hearing my dad teach me about things, which was only partly due to my interest in learning about whatever subject he was talking about.<br />
<br />
The majority of my interest stemmed from the sheer joy in listening to HOW my dad taught.<br />
<br />
It was just complete lunacy most of the time, but yet with this air of specificity that made it authoritative.<br />
<br />
Because everything Dad did was with not just with conviction but with this mysticism and excitement, like he was letting you in on a secret.<br />
<br />
From as far back as I can remember, sitting at the kitchen island in my childhood house, watching him cook for their annual Memorial Day party, he’d narrate his cooking process. He’d have these inexplicably specific food measurements, like “You need exactly 3 and 1/3 sticks of celery CUT LONG WAYS. If you can’t cut it long ways, don’t bother making it.”<br />
<br />
And then other times the measurements would be wildly vague, like: “All this says is ‘garlic.’ How much garlic does that mean?”<br />
<br />
And he’d look at me like I just asked if we could rent a llama for the weekend, and say, “What do you mean, how much does it mean? It means all the garlic in the house.”<br />
<br />
A few years ago, my sister Lauren got me a cell phone case for Christmas. I remember sitting in the living room with her and dad, as I tried slipping the plastic cover on my Blackberry only to discover it wasn’t fitting.<br />
<br />
I was just about to ask if it was for the right model when Dad had already grabbed the phone and cover from my lap. “Here, I’ll do it. Let me take care of this.”<br />
<br />
(As if he was privy to some insider info on the mechanics of cell phone accessories.)<br />
<br />
But that’s the thing about my dad. He never let a lack of knowledge on a subject keep him from plowing ahead.<br />
<br />
So he fiddles with it, sighing laboriously every now and then, over the distinct sound of plastic cracking…as he wrestled with the Blackberry and the now obviously wrong size cover.
Finally he tossed it on the couch and announced, “Well, it doesn’t fit. That's the end of it.”<br />
<br />
And that’s another thing about my dad. He is, in every sense of the phrase, the be all and end all. Nothing is over until my dad gives an official ruling that it’s impossible.<br />
<br />
The concept of “impossible” wasn’t something my dad readily acknowledged, though. And I don’t mean in a sweaty determination, Nike-commercial kind of way. I mean it in a if-he-couldn’t-do-it, it-wasn’t-something-worth-doing-and-maybe-didn't-actually-even-exist-in-the-first-place kind of way.<br />
<br />
For example, once when we had plans to get dinner, he decided that he couldn’t wait til our 6pm reservation, and wanted to eat at 4.<br />
<br />
(The only time my dad ever entertained a modicum of patience was when he played poker. Beyond that, it was strictly, "Ok, ok, what's the bottom line, hurry it up here.")<br />
<br />
So, ignoring our protests that restaurants typically aren’t open that early for dinner, he’s storming up and down the streets of Chelsea, and says, “Ok, what about that place?”<br />
<br />
“Uhh… is it open?”<br />
<br />
“Hmpf. Well, forget it. If it’s not open, I’m not gonna eat there.”<br />
<br />
You tell ‘em, Dad.<br />
<br />
So, yeah, trying to pinpoint the quintessence of Dad is like trying to drive a nail through a tomato seed.<br />
<br />
As my mom would say, “He’s a very complex person.”<br />
<br />
Yes and no.<br />
<br />
"Yes" in the sense that every time you think you had reached the limits of his character traits and interests, you’d find out something else. And "no" in the sense that when it came down to it, my dad could be boiled down to the fact that my dad just didn’t have limits period.<br />
<br />
You could say that my dad’s done it all, but I can think of one think he’s <i>never</i> done, and that is utter the phrase: “Ok, let’s not go overboard.”<br />
<br />
Excess was in his nature. It defined him. I once called him and asked how his day was, and he pauses for a moment, then happily replies, “It was great! I made 8 meatballs. I ate them all.”<br />
<br />
That. That may be the essence of my dad. He ate them all. Whether it was meatballs, or life, he never left anything on the plate. He devoured everything. He wanted to meet the new adventure and had no interest in leaving anything untouched.<br />
<br />
He loved everything and didn’t believe in just having a lukewarm affair with any interest. Whether it was food, his family, life, school, or his work. Sometimes you could look at it as “going the extra mile.” Other times you could say it was “taking it one step too far.” It went both ways.<br />
<br />
Like how he wouldn’t just write my name on my lunch bag like everyone else in middle school. He would draw cartoon sketches of monsters. He didn’t just staple my book reports together. He spiral bound them with a clear plastic cover and thick paper stock sheets.<br />
<br />
He sent me mail every day when I was in sleepaway camp, and they were typed missives riddled with SAT words that I needed a dictionary to decipher: “Hey, does anyone in this cabin know what a pleth-OR-a of opportunities means?”<br />
<br />
His intellect was unlike any other. He was accepted to college when he was 15, and was one of those math prodigies that just looked at numbers and it made sense.<br />
<br />
(Which must have made it maddening for him to live with 4 women who’d sit around and say things like, “I mean, what the heck is an imaginary number anyway? I mean, it’s not like I can submit gibberish to a professor and say Oh it’s cool, it’s an imaginary word.”) <br />
<br />
To truly understand the extent of his larger-than-life existence, you must first understand what he had to endure in the last 2 years of his life. He developed a rare, fatal brain tumor that’s untreatable, that literally takes over your entire brain and infects every area.<br />
<br />
And yet he was still smarter than all of us, still answered every Jeopardy question, still did our taxes, still cracked jokes, still fought for everything.<br />
<br />
He suffered a disease that took away everything that was important to him. But it never took his spirit. If it were me, I would have honestly tossed in the towel after 3 months of this, tops. But my dad never gave up. He never let the disease beat him. He outlasted it, as far as I’m concerned. My dad won, as he always did, because he never let it beat him. <br />
<br />
I was thinking the other day of this time maybe 2 months ago when my dad was lying in bed and I was sitting in the arm chair next to him, and he turned to me and said, “Kristen, I need you to do something for me.” So of course I say “What is it?? Anything." <br />
<br />
I’m sitting there on the edge of my seat, waiting for the substantive and profound favor, and he says, “I need you to look up the poker schedules at Foxwoods for this weekend.”<br />
<br />
He was just That. Amazing. It was just a few months ago my mom called and said, “We’re at Foxwoods. Your father just called, he’s in the poker tournament finals. I just went to this table to bring him a Snickers bar, and he’s hanging out with James Woods.”<br />
<br />
Every day with my dad was like MadLibs.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://fallpokeropen.blog.theborgata.com/2014/11/11/event-8-day-2-pollina-continues-to-persevere/" target="_blank">(He came in 8th in a tournament of 500, by the way.)</a><br />
<br />
He never let anything get in his way of his love of life and laughing. Nothing. When he was sick and the hospital attendants would come in and scan his hospital bracelet, he’d say, “Ooh wait I have a coupon for that!” My dad got thrown every insidious blow in existence, and he never lost himself. He was undaunted, and unafraid. Throughout all of it, he was still Dad.<br />
<br />
He underwent 2 brain surgeries, each time they warned us he might not be able to speak when he woke. And after the first one? I walked into the recovery room and there he was with a bandage wrapped around his head, and he opened his eyes and said, “Kris, just because I’m here doesn’t mean I can’t take care of you, ok? I’ll always be able to take care of you.”<br />
<br />
That’s the first thing he thought of when he woke up from brain surgery. His first thought and first concern was that his children knew he would always be there for them. He lived his life like that, and everything he has ever done or said in the 34 years I was blessed to have him in my life, was a testament to his overwhelming devotion to his family.<br />
<br />
I spent this past New Year’s Eve with my parents, and my mom told Dad that my sister's boyfriend was planning on proposing that night. My dad’s response? To hoist himself out of his chair and start <i>dancing</i>. He says, in all seriousness, “Ok, we gotta start practicing our dance moves now. I don’t want you guys embarrassing yourselves at the wedding, so let me teach you a few moves.”<br />
<br />
He just was so proud of all of us. He was so proud of being a family. At his memorial service this past weekend, it was a full house, and friends from all walks of life came up to me and said the same thing: “Your father never stopped talking about you and your sisters and your mother. He never stopped bragging about you. Ever.”<br />
<br />
Everything we did, in his eyes, was gold. I remember when my <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RFqne00DnM" target="_blank">youngest sister was on the diving team </a>when she was 8, and she was one of 2 kids in her age group at the diving meet. My dad spent the next month proudly announcing to anyone who would listen, “This one right here? Came in 2nd in the County Championship.”<br />
<br />
He came to every. Single. Softball game. Never missed a game. He’d sit in the bleachers and when my crazy softball coach was giving me signs, I’d look over to my dad to see if he’d confirm or reject the sign.<br />
<br />
More often than not it was the latter, and while this did not make me popular with my coach, I always followed my dad’s signals. Because he was always right. He never steered me wrong.
He just got me. He was my best friend in the world.<br />
<br />
I remember a time when I was in the throes of an ungodly horrendous day at work. Not just one of those cranky “work sucks” days. But a crying-outside-by-the-side-of-the-building day.<br />
<br />
The phone rings, and it’s my dad, who never really called, mostly because he didn’t know how to use his cell phone, and he says, “Hey Kris! I’m at the Yankees spring training game, and I was just thinking about you and how much I wish you were here.”<br />
<br />
To use a line from our shared favorite book:<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFXivZrU7sHxVo8BwN4B1Jn59-DOpXlE3__3lZdR4wBn6XfIYYm5IBsT0Y7dHapKYTL_MF2YeAZewipHUB8MdSTd-h6B_xsfmVJ1IGiDPRQDs8NN4GvQVrJicgduY6qHlFgDLOcomkrY/s1600/Quotation-J-D-Salinger-joy-Meetville-Quotes-32648.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOFXivZrU7sHxVo8BwN4B1Jn59-DOpXlE3__3lZdR4wBn6XfIYYm5IBsT0Y7dHapKYTL_MF2YeAZewipHUB8MdSTd-h6B_xsfmVJ1IGiDPRQDs8NN4GvQVrJicgduY6qHlFgDLOcomkrY/s1600/Quotation-J-D-Salinger-joy-Meetville-Quotes-32648.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Franny & Zooey. Me and my dad's favorite book.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
He just knew when to call. When I’d be watching a Yankee game and it would get to the point where you start thinking in your head how many grand slams it would take for the Yankees to be back in the game, and just as my panic would reach a fever pitch, the phone would ring, and it’d be my dad saying the same thing: “Kris, you’re not watching the game, right? It’s a rerun. I already saw this game, and the Yankees end up coming back in the 8th and winning it, so don’t worry.” And I wouldn’t.<br />
<br />
My dad basically mastered life. He just got it.<br />
<br />
It was like he had figured it all out and then thought “well, what do I do now?”<br />
<br />
And the answer to that was: everything. He did everything. And he loved how great it all was. Once he made his own turkey salad and he makes us both a sandwich and we’re sitting on the porch in Long Beach about to eat lunch and life was good.<br />
<br />
And my dad takes a bite of his sandwich and says to no one in particular really, almost talking to the sandwich even, “Wow. I am so good at things.”
And he was. He was good at everything. You couldn’t compete with Dad, which was ironically all Dad ever really wanted to do.<br />
<br />
He went on vacation to Block Island and manages to find the one dive bar in town, marches in and announces, “I want to play pool, but I only want to play whoever is the best one here.”
Dad only dealt with the superlative.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjus3Td_Wf8Hkq6Hlmyy-CYyb6zVwXM3I34zHGAnvRgVLTVhVPwuwX8koX1H-6oS4NKH_yp3xvqWQ0Wc15LVcgpsHT1UN10WS9re0Ylw7M_faqc9gT4eAWa1U0xUr_tfB-Nm4tpDy8HBcE/s1600/dadandibackyard.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjus3Td_Wf8Hkq6Hlmyy-CYyb6zVwXM3I34zHGAnvRgVLTVhVPwuwX8koX1H-6oS4NKH_yp3xvqWQ0Wc15LVcgpsHT1UN10WS9re0Ylw7M_faqc9gT4eAWa1U0xUr_tfB-Nm4tpDy8HBcE/s1600/dadandibackyard.jpg" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Just hanging out in the backyard.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
He was the father you brag about. He was the one who was always ready with a magic trick. He was the one who makes the impossible pool shot, the one who wins not one but 2 super bowl pools.<br />
<br />
When the Yankees would find themselves in a bases loaded, 2-out, close and late situation, and the announcers would invariably say, “So, who do you want to see up right now?”, my answer would always be the same: My dad. Without question.<br />
<br />
A day will never go by where I won’t think, “Oh, I gotta call my dad and tell him about this.” I thought it during the memorial service, how I couldn’t wait to tell him about how many people came.<br />
<br />
I will never get past losing him, just as he never got past the death of his own father. In an email he sent me a few years ago, he wrote: <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>In December of 1980, about three months before you were born, I had a talk with my father. He was sick and wanted to talk to me. Similar to my current condition, he had suffered a heart attack and a mini stroke. Now many years later, I realize that he knew that he would not be with us much longer. In fact, he died a month later in January. He said that family trumps all things. He said that it was only when we have the experience of age that we realize this. It was his wish that absolutely nothing should ever come between Uncle Joe, Uncle Anthony and me. I feel that my father's wish is now my wish for you, Lauren and Amy.</i> </blockquote>
<br />
He gave himself to everything and everyone, but the most important thing he gave me, by far, was his golden rule. Family above all. He adored me, my sisters, and my mom with every fiber of his being.<br />
<br />
He looked at my mom like the sun rose and set for her, and if he were here right now, he would be saying the same thing he said every time he went out with her: “Your mother was the prettiest woman there.” His love for us was truly endless, and that will never leave me.<br />
<br />
My dad is invincible in this way. Nothing will ever take away everything he was and everything he meant to the people whose lives he’s changed. He was loyal, funny... I just idolized him. He was my favorite person in the world.<br />
<br />
Everything I am I owe to him. He made me better than I ever could have made myself.
So despite the hole in my heart, there’s an even more profound emotion eclipsing my feelings of grief.<br />
<br />
And that’s my feeling that I’m lucky.<br />
<br />
I’m lucky to have had him in my life. I got to know him, I got to have him as a father, as a role model. No matter what blows the world may deal, I can feel nothing but fortunate for the fact that I got to live in my dad’s magical world.<br />
<br />
I would give anything to have him back, to be able to make another one of my fake-excuse calls, to ask him what kind of syrup is needed for a proper egg cream, or how much breadcrumbs to put in my meatballs.<br />
<br />
After I confessed this to my mom last week, how so many of my calls to him were thinly veiled excuses just to talk to him, my mom says, “You know what? He used to do the same thing with you.”<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
I have no idea how I will ever manage without my dad, what life will be like without him in it. But I’m overcome with gratitude for the fact that I’ll never have to wonder what life would have been like without having him at all.</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="https://player.vimeo.com/video/125968536?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe>
</div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-18392109144003398832015-04-11T04:42:00.000-04:002015-04-11T04:42:00.495-04:00Game 4, April 10-11: Sux @ NYY (too much free baseball)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYRKwiv8Z6OgPDgdS7H1ky3pXXpBCkFugJRIef7VAKHazVL8_EgnHouaqhXS9Ie9dtkpVbi1A3mlq8wrTxTByBfu9JJzfkRYanqHhD2T2y_fQGJzgut57z_UDw-C0G6vh0jjm9oQt2EVk/s1600/game4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiYRKwiv8Z6OgPDgdS7H1ky3pXXpBCkFugJRIef7VAKHazVL8_EgnHouaqhXS9Ie9dtkpVbi1A3mlq8wrTxTByBfu9JJzfkRYanqHhD2T2y_fQGJzgut57z_UDw-C0G6vh0jjm9oQt2EVk/s1600/game4.png" height="157" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Loss</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Sweet Christ. I kind of thought I’d have a little bit of buffer time before one of These Games came into the mix.<br />
<br />
Like, “Oh yeah, you’re the new copywriter, right? Ok today is just gonna be orientation-type stuff, setting up your password, IT policy, etc. Tomorrow, you’re going to be the Key Note Speaker at ASCO. Sound good? Great! Here’s my extension if you need anything.”<br />
<br />
That’s sort of like what just happened. ROARRR. Where do I even begin with this one? You know what? This is exactly why bulleted lists came into mainstream play.<br />
<br />
(Are you allowed to say that anymore? Seriously, take note: it’s going to be a situation like <a href="http://www.tubechop.com/watch/5686888" target="_blank">this.</a> Or <a href="http://articles.sun-sentinel.com/1995-03-10/news/9503100260_1_devil-rays-logo-vince-naimoli-team-s-logo" target="_blank">this.</a> Pretty soon, my beloved bulleted lists are going to become “M-dashed-Lists.”)<br />
<br />
Til then, giddy up:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>This game started at 7, and social was fueled by the rampant Yo Momma-esque jokes (“Yo, this Yankee game so old, it’s social security is ONE. WHAT WHAT!” “Yo, this game so long, there’s some automated woman’s voice blaring an estimated hold time.”
I’m fairly confident it was only yesterday that I was extolling the virtue of the expedited pitch rule. </li>
</ul>
<br />Ah, little did I know that the expedited pitch rule is only a thing if the delays of game are related to the pitcher.
Not, for example, related to the lights on the façade that just went out mid game. How does that even happen? <br /><ul>
<li>No offense, Crew Over There, but lightbulbs going out mid-game is probably someone’s fault. My dad never believed in getting mad at a situation. If something makes you mad, there is a human being‘s choices behind it. Thus, you should direct rage at said person. FIND THE LIGHTBULB MISCREANT THAT ADDED 16 MINUTES TO THE GAME. NOW.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Which leads me to my next point: you’d think I’d be all enraged at this game, but here’s this thing: I’m NOT. At first I thought it was because I was so tired, but then I realized it was because it was sort of the same way I felt, minus the exuberance, after the Giants lost to the Pats on December 28, 2007 (35-38).</li>
</ul>
<br />It was fought tooth and nail every second of the game, for no reason other than to prove a point. The Giants could have rested, they already were in the playoffs, the game wasn’t going to decide anything.<br /><br />Similarly, the Yanks could have gone the sensible route and remembered that they have a game in less than half a day, and maybe they don’t want to deplete everyone. No, they fought. <br /><ul>
<li>They lost, and I hate losing, but they didn’t go down without a fight. If this was a 48 Hours Episode, Keith Morrison would be interviewing a detective who would be saying, “No, no, yeah, this one was a fighter. She fought for her life, and that’s why we got the DNA under her fingernails to nab the guy.” </li>
</ul>
<br />I think we got the Sux skin cells under our fingernails.<br /><br />In terms of game recap, in the conventional sense of the word “recap,”…uh..<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Well, the Yanks were down by 3. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>Then they scored 2. Headly tied it up with a homerun (what a lovely creature this one is. Odd, but lovely). Ortiz juiced out one to make it 4-3, and it took forever because he never moves out of the batter’s box after a bomb, until he counts in his head “one Mississippi, two Mississippi.” </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>But lo, then Tex goes deep to tie it up at 4 (and people were realllly excited about the fact it was his BIRTHDAY and he hit a HOMERUN! On his BIRTHDAY! Of all days!)
4-4 game, until Pablo Sandoval’s supreme lack of metabolism drives in Pedroia in the 18th. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Only for the Yank’s to come back with Beltran (who I’m pretty sure wasn’t in the game when I was first watching it, but that was nearly 10 hours ago at this point, so who knows. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>All of a sudden it was like he was the only person ever at-bat, and all he did was <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XO3RQiAYgM" target="_blank">this</a>.</li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>But then he drove in a run, and the game is tied once again, and it’s the 19th inning, and it reached the point in the night when I realized that there weren’t going to be enough hours in between going to sleep and waking up that would make going to sleep a worthwhile endeavor. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Mookie Betts hits the game winner for the Sux, and the Yanks can’t cobble anything together in the bottom of the 19th. Game over. At 2:16am.
But here’s the thing: the game was nip and tuck or whatever, but it 100% did not have to be. For either side. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>I’m happy the Yanks raged against the dying of the light (literally and figuratively) with every last breath, but I’m tempering this with the acknowledgement that they squandered away a number of REALLY good scoring opportunities. </li>
</ul>
<br />I mean, it’s one thing to do the whole leaving-runners-stranded thing. It’s another all together to take said runners off the basepath all together.<br /> <ul>
<li>GGBG got picked off. GGBG GOT PICKED OFF. SERIOUSLY.
He also got caught stealing! He’s like the worst stealth ever now! </li>
</ul>
<br />Ok, it’s easy to say this now, but what the hell. GGBG doesn’t get removed from the basepath on those plays, and the Yanks and their fans are already in bed, spooning the memory of their sweet W over the Sux.<br /><br />Ah, but GGBG took the basepath less travelled. And that has made all the difference.<br /><br />Other observations: <br /><ul>
<li>Cone’s pitching analysis was really sparkling tonight. I gotta say, there wasn’t a lot of fluff given that it went into 19 F@#$ing innings. I wouldn’t have blamed him for trailing off into a monologue about powdered milk or something. But his shit was on tonight. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>On Headly’s game-tying ding: “Wow. Yeah, with all due respect, what was he thinking with that pitch?” Awesome reaction from the booth. </li>
</ul>
<br />
<ul>
<li>Pablo Sandoval is so goddamn fat that it’s uncomfortable. There’s CC. There’s Prince. And then there’s <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vW3Gyb99OU" target="_blank">this</a>.</li>
</ul>
<br />
Ok, clearly I could talk about this game for twice as long as it actually lasted. And honestly, if the next one wasn’t at 1, I would.
I’m very interested to see how this next one plays out.<br /><br /> Cheers to kicking off the rivalry in style, if not substance, Yanks.
I found the entire evening “encouraging.” And that’s the last time you’ll hear me go all communist everyone-wins-no-matter-what-the-score!-mentality.<br /><br />Oh ps, the pitching was excellent. EXCELLENT. On both sides. No kudos to Dickey, since, well, he’s a knuckleballer. That’s like showering the plaudits on when a chick has long luscious hair. Yes, technically she grew it herself, but it’s not like it took anything out of her to do so.<br /><br />So, yeah, aside from that lay-z-bones, I was suitably impressed by the majority of the 627 pitches thrown tonight.
It’s almost 5am. See you in a few hours, Yankees! And don’t forget:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Numquam salve quid pro reditu.
</b></i></span></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-11312181766175065802015-04-10T02:29:00.000-04:002015-04-10T02:29:29.705-04:00Game 3, April 9: Jays @ NYY <br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loss</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
First off, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE <a href="http://www.sportspromotion.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/lloyd2.jpg" target="_blank">ONLY AUSTRALIAN BASEBALL PLAYER TO SPORT A WS RING</a>! Cheers to a former Yankee who embodied class in every sense of the word.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Which is a big deal because when you’re almost 7 ft fall, to have that much class density is quite an accomplishment.
Seriously, show me a pipsqueak stature who was the picture of social graces—and </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I’ll show you an unimpressed face.</div>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
The Yankees lost their first series of the season, and that’s ok, because even I, a card-carrying member of the “If You Say Baseball Doesn’t Mean Anything Until July, I’ll Stab You to Death and Play Around in Your Blood, Because EVERY Game is Important” Society </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
(IYSBDMAUYISY2D&PAIYBBEGiI-S), can’t get too flustered over this.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I attribute a lot of this to David Cone, who entrenched himself firmly in the belief that this was, in fact, an “encouraging” outing from Fatso. He kept saying that to Kay, and here’s the thing: Coney isn’t one of the Pollyanna YES announcers. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
He unapologetically calls ‘em like he sees ‘em, which is just one of the reasons he’s cooler than us.
The Yanks were down 6-3 in the 8th and Cone is going on about how awesome Tubbo.com’s start was, and Kay is all, “Yessiree, the Yankees have Toronto RIGHT. WHERE. THEY. WANT ‘EM.” And I said, “I love you, Yes Network. You’re perfect.” </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The Yanks lost in a very Yankee-lose-to-Jays way, in the sense that they once again played a similar game. You got most of the line up making it to base at some point (EXCEPT HEADLY. Man, what has THIS GUY done for us lately, you know?).
And you have the big guys coming up with big hits. (Not necessarily “big” as in “clutch,” to be sure. But big as in big I guess?) </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
For example, (I’m SOL-ing right now) A-rod. A-ROD! He had a homerun! Remember that guy? He had a big hit to put the Yankees on the board and then right after than Tex did the same thing! And you’re thinking, he come the Yankees!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But then the inning ending, and the scoring ended, too. That tends to happen when you go 1-9 with RISP. Yeah, it should be noted that the game between the Yanks and the Jays was comparable (isssshh) with the very significant exception of the Jays going 3-6 with RISP. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Hey, you know what else? I’m gonna venture to say with an N of 3 that Toronto has a pretty decent pen. Maybe Toronto will be the “sleeper” team this year for a change. It’s weird how they’re always tagged as this unsuspecting dark horse in the running, when from where I’m standing, they should really be the Hawks, not the Ducks. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
So, the NEXT game for the Yanks is against the BIGGET RIVAL IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS. And don’t care if everyone rolls their eyes when they say that, because for the rest of my life, I will always get giddy about baseball ESPECIALLY when it’s a weekend, and ESPECIALLY when it’s against the Red Sox. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
If you watched the game tonight you could see that it was not a great crowd in the stands, and for good reason since it was raining and cold. It’s hard to get fired up about shit in that type of situation. But when you got a weekend game, you have the luxury of drinking yourself into that kind of fever pitch. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
And when you’re playing YOUR BIGGEST RIVAL, you have the perk of being fueled by rage. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
We’ll get ‘em next time boys. I have a feeling the Yanks will be making handiwork of the Sux this weekend. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Verrunt.
</b></i></span></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-50457456169583060572015-04-09T01:05:00.002-04:002015-04-09T01:05:45.895-04:00Game 2, April 8: Jays @ NYY (HERE WE GOOOO!*)<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WIN</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
*"GO" emphatically. Not <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAF9RmtjxVY" target="_blank">this. </a><br />
<br />
Magic number is 161! Right? 1st win of the season. First time also I had to compete with a Mets fan in a household for game watching privileges. Whatever, they lost, and the Yanks won!<br />
<br />
And so the season starts.<br />
<br />
I’ll go ahead and say it right now that it wasn’t exactly a seamless trip to the W. It was less like an Acela trip from NYC to DC, and more along the lines of any flight that goes through O’Hare—it’s a maddening experience, angering, depressing, deflating…but then all of a sudden, you’re on the plane and en route home, and you’re happy because no matter where you’re flying to, it’s not that long a flight.<br />
<br />
And you wonder why you ever got so agitated in the first place. I mean, look at all the dining and shopping options O’Hare has to offer. You got a whole slew of shit in the 8-hours it took for the plane to finally take off, and now you’re able to get the ball rolling on your journey. So you shake it off and concentrate on that.<br />
<br />
The box score belies the reality of the game, in that you’d think a 4-3 game with such an anemic Hit Column would be indicative of some pretty sharp play. I’d go ahead and say it was kind of the opposite of that.<br />
<br />
I didn’t see a WHOLE lot of defensive pearls there, but then again, the Web Gems on MLB Tonight are galatically amusing this time of the season. (Oh wait you know who had a good play? GGBG. Of course. A nice neat sliding catch that he made look zippy and fun.)<br />
<br />
But for most part, in league as a whole, everyone is playing like they just got called into a meeting that they weren’t planning on attending. You can throw in a couple of “Wait, can we go back to the last slide for a second?”’s and get some gold stars, but when it comes down to it, you’re gonna have reacquaint yourself with the agenda. Sooner rather than later.<br />
<br />
You know how I know this? Because none of the Yankees really scored in way that wasn’t akin to scratching on the 8 ball. This means their runs were “manufactured” by some a fell-off-the-back-of-a-truck supplier, aka a wild pitch, a HBP, and an infield single by Headley.<br />
<br />
Even that third one counts as a ridiculous way to score, because really? Headley? Didn’t this guy teeter around in San Diego for a middle-management-accountant esque of a career? Sure, why not. Welcome aboard, Headly. Don’t let it go to your Headly. Yes, I said it. Sigh. Whatever, if Teixeira’s allowed to be all “What, I don’t hit until June, that’s just who I am, man!” then I’m allowed to ween into baseball recap writing pun exploration.<br />
<br />
That said though, Tex HAD a hit today, along with Drew, Jacoby, and this Headly guy (who had 2, a big RBI and a palpably surprised interview on the YES post-game.)
Pineda looked as shady as he ever did. You know how AJ was our token wild card, whose tats and blithely trailer trash essence made for some uncomfortable viewing experiences?<br />
<br />
And by that I mean that any time the ball left his hand, even if he had been pitching a scoreless game til then, I’d still anticipate the likelihood that the ball would somehow end up somewhere it shouldn’t be. Whether that place is over the left field wall, or in the visitor’s dugout, or wedged in some fan’s ear canal somehow.<br />
<br />
Ok, so yeah, you know that feeling?<br />
<br />
Well it’s sort of similar to that with Pineda, only instead of having the expectation of toothlessly piercing wild pitches coloring the outing, there’s more of a sense that Pineda is like a pet tarantula. “You can hold him! He doesn’t bite!” Yeah, as far as YOU know. He seems awesome, but I don’t know if I now or ever will trust Pineda to not go <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Pce6gQqtzk" target="_blank">all rogue on me</a>. Oh yeah, ps he did a good job today.<br />
<br />
A smattering of hits, but it was good enough to lead us to Andrew Miller. I gotta say though, I like this guy. He’s not half bad. And the best part is, he’s not anywhere near good enough for Mo comparisons to come out. Not that anyone is, but I couldn’t stomach the thought of another year of hearing things like “Who will be the next MO? Robertson? Betances?”<br />
<br />
Yeah. Betances. He’s on track to pick up exactly where Mo left off. Delin Betances.<br />
<br />
I shouldn’t make fun, he got the W today. He followed Chris Martin, and the Coldplay jokes notably ebbed. As far as the Jays go, well, they played almost the same game as the Yanks, except with 1 less run. Seriously. Think about it. I bet some Canadian blogger somewhere is writing the same things as me right now, except more politely and with more focus on metrics. And hockey.<br />
<br />
So there you go. WIN 1. The start of big things for this team, yeah? It sort of feels like the sequel to any sports movie, in the sense that if there’s a sequel, that means that the first one was dynamite, which means the good guys probably won it all in the end.<br />
<br />
But then the sequel comes out, and since they can’t get the entire cast to come back for the sequel, you’re looking at an almost completely new team that tries faithfully to retain the spirit of competition and tenacity that characterized the first movie’s Sport Team That Went All the Way.<br />
<br />
Here’s the good news though:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Sequelam fere desinit bene. </b></i></span></div>
<br />
Another piece of good news is that this shortened time between pitches thing is moving the game along pretty swimmingly (based on an N of two of course). Another game that went under 3 hours. On the one hand, I kind want this to attract people who are all “Baseball’s boorrring” but on the other hand, I think, “To hell with you. You can’t beat the clock. You can’t beat baseball. You can’t be my friend.”<br />
<br />
See you Thursday night, when ROUND BOY TAKES THE MOUND!!! (on a side note, Fatso took over Jeter’s locker a la a coworker takes over the mini fridge of a coworker who quits. No surprise here, he wanted the locker closer to the player’s lounge. Oh my God, can you be any lazier? Amazing. I like his style.)
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-75959171433739796332015-04-06T19:37:00.004-04:002015-04-06T19:37:42.311-04:00Game 1, April 6: Jays @ NYY (L) ... AND IT BEGINS!<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(L)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well, ok, so there were a few kinks in the game. But nothing
I wasn’t totally unprepared for.</div>
<br />
Actually, the biggest surprise to me was the
A-Rod reception. It was almost like the judges on American Idol or something, right
before the token Susan Boyle/Paul Potts/homely plain jane opens up to shower the
cynics with their golden pipes.
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"> </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 11.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">So it was the first opener in a loooonngg time
without one of the Core Four. And for the first time in, like, ever, I felt a
twinge of the apologetic subscription to the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=we-L7w1K5Zo" target="_blank">Seinfeld theory. </a></span><br />
<br />
C’mon, let’s call a spade a spade, here. When you watched today’s game (or listened to Sterling/Waldman, as the case may be), tell me you didn’t feel this stymieing mix of hope, confusion, and nostalgia. Then, maybe because I’m Catholic, maybe because I’m a chick, I felt guilty about that, because “CMON! THIS IS YOUR TEAM! FORGET ABOUT THE GUYS WHO AREN’T ON THE FIELD ANYMORE, AND LET’S PLAY BALL.”<br />
<br />
The Blue Jays didn’t seem to skip a beat, seeing as they’ve been inexplicably knocking the ball all over the continental United States for the last 3 seasons. Encarnacion and Travis both went deep, which actually wasn't THAT bad, but since for the last few months, I've seen no one take anyone deep (because there was no baseball), 2 seemed like a lot. Plus, every fan has carte blanche to overreact to everything on Opening Day, and I'm taking that privelege and running with it.<br />
<br />
I mean, Tanaka actually seemed pretty sharp in the beginning, but doesn’t everyone? No one shows up on your first day of work dressed like a slob. You put your best foot forward and wear a suit and tie. Tanaka just switched to creative department attire a little more quickly than we would have hoped.<br />
<br />
He got taken out after 4 innings, which was probably about an inning and a half too much. 6Ks, 2 BBs, 5 hits, 5 runs. It was superbly lackluster. Not terribly blow-you-away knocked around, which for some reason made it even worse. Like, if you’re gonna ruin opening day, at least be epic about it.<br />
<br />
To add insult to injury, the Yankees were getting whiffed by a fetus. A-Rod came to the rescue by getting on base, and boy was he happy about this. Good on you, buddy. Keep up the strong work!<br />
<br />
McCann finally got a hit off Hutchinson, and then a rally looked like in was in the works, but then it cartoonishly was over before it began. I say cartoonishly because when you see play like that, the only things that come to mind are: tuba decrescendo noises, anvils, balloons popping, bodies deflating, and things running full speed into brick walls.<br />
<br />
Gardner funly enough went yard, and I’d love to just bite the bullet and put him in the 4 spot. Why not? Arod’s in the 7 spot, and pound by pound, I’d have given a LOT to be a fly in the room of that talk. “NO POUTING THIS TIME. Ok? Are we clear? Say, ‘Yes, Joe, we’re clear.’”<br />
<br />
In terms of non-hitting items, our SS Gregorious was caught stealing, our 3B had an error, and the team as a whole took 37 fewer pitches than the Jays, and scored 5 fewer runs than them. Toronto scored 6 runs on 6 hits and 167 pitches.
Also, the Yankees reliever was named Chris Martin, and the booth let the Coldplays on Words go on a touch too long.<br />
<br />
You know what though, I think we should all embrace the new Yankee squad in the same optimistic gusto that Sterling is. He’s not looking at it as a team that lacks the Core Four, he’s looking at it as a whole weekend’s worth of brainstorming Homerun calls!<br />
<br />
Welcome back, baseball. It was the longest winter of my life, but it’s beyond comforting to say and embrace the same words I do on this day every year.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i><b>Yankees erit vincere patrocinium.
</b></i></span></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-67039846111480948852014-10-16T23:59:00.002-04:002014-10-17T07:53:06.444-04:00Hi! Um, fun fact, most Muppets are left-handed. <br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Oh, hello.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">So, yeah, I’ve been about as prolific as that elf in Rudolf
the Red Nosed Reindeer who wanted to be a dentist. (Not for nothing, but Hermey
had a decent labor suit in his back pocket if the whole med school thing didn’t
pan out.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/6DAja7-RuvM" width="420"></iframe>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yep, you guessed it, I’ve been using this time to study
orthodontics! <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Jk, I’ve been on a break in a non <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sEMKglzC_wc" target="_blank">Ross-Rachel way</a>, since my
dad became sick last October. I don't want to go too into it, but suffice to say he's tackled it the way he’s tackled everything in his life: “Ok,
tell me what I have to do, and let’s just get it done.” As if he’s talking
about refinancing a car. He's the most amazing person I'll ever know. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And still, never ceases to awe me (as evidenced by the fact
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dxhwAq-Y00&list=UUf1QLgsbXGv1dlqnhjIQPxg" target="_blank">he took 15<sup><span style="font-size: x-small;">th</span></sup> out of 150 in a poker tourney at Foxwoods last week</a>. WHAT WHAT. I like to brag about my dad because he makes me proud to know him.) </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Okay, that said...But I digress (ah, I missed typing that.) From what I'm digressing, I'm not quite sure, but historically, if I'm blogging, I'm digressing, so I'm playing the odds here.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I figured I’d poke my head in, amid the Non-Yankee-Playoff,
since I made a field trip to the <a href="http://stat.ameba.jp/user_images/20140330/09/soho-newyork/50/00/j/o0420056012891621075.jpg" target="_blank">Mothership</a> today. It was sort of like making a
pilgrimage to the old drinking haunt that you havent frequented since, oh I
don’t know, the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=706779596051&l=3025082143691369069" target="_blank">manager skipped off to sail the high seas</a>. And you’re thinking,
“man, I wonder if anything’s changed in my absence.”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Yeah, I entertained the notion that the Yankee Clubhouse
changed in my absence. </span><span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">ß</span></span><span style="font-family: Calibri;">either
I’m rusty, or that sentence is impossible to construct with the connotation of
sarcasm I’m aiming for.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(HOWEVAH, they don’t sell the worn in blue fitted Yankee
caps no mo’! Double U Tee Eff, How is anyone supposed to establish him or
herself firmly in true fandom if his or her hat is impossibly color-saturated??<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Also—apparently using “impossibly” to modify
color made a dominant showing in the Pollina punnet square.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnhFWoPT_rHsZSarcA_jjbC8dlx-RxgxbCHZYUUh9xMLqar32glwXzNCZq9g1SgaGQIWLm0WKVlRcfmFOZUxBWPUfcX3MeM0r5g4x6caB7uad8cUCymUHlo5Z3TozsQDbnqUtrIatq1g/s1600/impossibly+brown.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgsnhFWoPT_rHsZSarcA_jjbC8dlx-RxgxbCHZYUUh9xMLqar32glwXzNCZq9g1SgaGQIWLm0WKVlRcfmFOZUxBWPUfcX3MeM0r5g4x6caB7uad8cUCymUHlo5Z3TozsQDbnqUtrIatq1g/s1600/impossibly+brown.png" height="179" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not impossibly brown, Mom, since they exist.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">My trip to the Yankee Clubhouse was not without incident as
the entire freaking block was taped with crime scene tape. You can imagine my
excitement since my first thought was Dear Diary, I’ve finally walked onto a
Law & Order set! Love, Kris. As my fellow traveller Marty rightly noted,
“Yeah you need a lot of juice to be able to <a href="http://gothamist.com/2014/10/16/times_square_partially_shut_down_be.php" target="_blank">shut down Times Square in themiddle of the day</a>.” True dat.</span><br />
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">I don’t think even Mariska Hagartay has that kind of clout,
but someone threatening to jump off the top of Madam Toussad’s Wax Museum does.
Yeah, that’s right. The tourists for once had their cameras aimed as an actual
thing, as opposed to a skyscraper. And as a result, there was no way to get to
the Yankee store. After all my years of toiling away in <a href="http://www.anatomyofgames.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/zelda-14.gif" target="_blank">Zelda labyrinths</a>, even
I couldn’t find a way around the crime scene tape. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Crime scene tape has been like the red rose petals of
American Beauty…seems to keep quasi-poignantly popping up. And by
quasi-poignantly, I mean an N of 2. Today, and also a few weeks ago when I
tried to scare whoever was breaking onto my roof with this well-thought out
ploy.)</span></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi40Qc2EzztoZz8f5ElFFaMTdl-RW1QSVOXXfv1m0zULAOlZNvzk-EROuu67_WWY0hlCoud73P6IGapgwFAEbH60QrfJ4ooWfAesiHIdKczkZc4J0A20YtewvG97Q4AOdUpPJu5FB5E4a0/s1600/rooftopchalk.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi40Qc2EzztoZz8f5ElFFaMTdl-RW1QSVOXXfv1m0zULAOlZNvzk-EROuu67_WWY0hlCoud73P6IGapgwFAEbH60QrfJ4ooWfAesiHIdKczkZc4J0A20YtewvG97Q4AOdUpPJu5FB5E4a0/s1600/rooftopchalk.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hashtag seeyagoodrelationshipwithlandlord</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">The guy on the roof didn’t jump. He was up there for about 2
hours, and he was talked down. That was good. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiSjsJfvUepPAA9lG_wm1TUkGXpaVAplbo44g2MvLf5tZUi4rDGLmbOojlsHYtYL58_JtD-7E54QasJ1OuINSXGa1jx-SoytwsYZ3cAS7pFLPUVXFjgiMq9n2kc2dVFKR881olKs97AIE/s1600/attheclub.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiSjsJfvUepPAA9lG_wm1TUkGXpaVAplbo44g2MvLf5tZUi4rDGLmbOojlsHYtYL58_JtD-7E54QasJ1OuINSXGa1jx-SoytwsYZ3cAS7pFLPUVXFjgiMq9n2kc2dVFKR881olKs97AIE/s1600/attheclub.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Excitement like a <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZpoyuVP98A" target="_blank">monkey in jello</a>.</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">And I extend a very grateful thank you to my 2 travel
companions today—James and Marty—as they not only did what many fear to (engage
in Yankee-related activity with me), but also got me writing again, albeit in a
non-recap-capacity. But, you know, I don’t want to be all Teixeira-ed out come
April, and have a bunch of comments like “Oh, well she needs a good 3 months to
warm up anyway…”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">(Baseball reference!)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;">Hopefully, I’ll be back in action in about 4 months, but
until then...</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt; text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Novi Eboraci , vix potest ad consilium ante. </span></i></b></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Calibri;"><b><i><span style="font-size: large;">Interdum non
mihi molestus.<o:p></o:p></span></i></b></span></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-43198408815966340042014-04-13T23:56:00.004-04:002014-04-13T23:56:46.893-04:00Game 13, Socks @ NYY: Go Nova!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Z0f5ux2YARpGn9CBr26aexdwmlqpv6DP-hJy1fYC2nsOpfWPb4D5qN5X8JhhRIV4UMuHkN6Ww_l1w4vwXo7NzZW6fbAa5nzlpOxYzKG4FpPAc67661fV3xnNC7XgoWMywxNtXVUS4gs/s1600/game13.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3Z0f5ux2YARpGn9CBr26aexdwmlqpv6DP-hJy1fYC2nsOpfWPb4D5qN5X8JhhRIV4UMuHkN6Ww_l1w4vwXo7NzZW6fbAa5nzlpOxYzKG4FpPAc67661fV3xnNC7XgoWMywxNtXVUS4gs/s1600/game13.png" height="163" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WIN.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This one was more the kind of Yankees/Socks game to which we've all grown accustomed. Because it was close and dramatic and had drama involved. It's kind of weird that the drama isn't related to Boston-NY animosity though, yeah. <br />
<br />
The Yanks win by a hair, thanks to some clutch plays from Beltran (a homerun), Nova (outstanding outing), Sneach (who sneached a ball out of the air when Ortiz hit a long shot and did a premature obnoxious pause at the plate), and Cervelli (who SuperMario'd to first and drove in what ended up being the winning run).<br />
<br />
Farrell got thrown out for breaking the rules when he argued the replay ruling. I mean, c'mon guy, everyone knows <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0RKDifoyra8" target="_blank">this</a>.<br />
<br />
Jacoby made a great, albeit possibly unnecessarily embellished, catch to end the game. Shawn Kelley struck out Carp with bases loaded to end the 8th, and Girardi made more walks to the field mid-inning to check out hurt players. <br />
<br />
Even the announcers were like, "Yeah, how many times do you think Joe's done that in the last few years?"<br />
<br />
And then, "Now he's just gotta hope that McCann stays unhurt, since he's down to 1 catcher."<br />
<br />
Cut to a few innings later when McCann gets a zinger in the hand, probably broke it, who knows. <br />
<br />
The announcers then something along the lines of "And unbeknownst to Dean Anna, he's the emergency backup catcher."<br />
<br />
Ha! Is this like a surprise clause in his contract? Like "Heretoforth signer agrees to an undisclosed clause of emergency situation nature e pluribus habeas corpus mens rea etc ad nauseum. Fin."<br />
<br />
I would have loved to see a "DEAR ANNA! THROW ON SOME GEAR AND GET BEHIND THE PLATE AND DON'T ARGUE BECAUSE YOU'RE THE EMERGENCY CATCHER EVEN IF IT UNBEKNOWNST TO YOU BECAUSE LISTEN UP BUDDY, IT'S NOW OFFICIALLY KNOWNST." <br />
<br />
That didn't happen though. <br />
<br />
So, the boys pull out a W and get the day off tomorrow, and I hope they use it productively, ie doing trust exercises and ice breakers and other assorted games of "getting-to-know-you" ilk. <br />
<br />
Because as funny as it is in movies to watch a group of unrelated misfits band together to overcome the odds and realize the sum is greater than the parts or whatever...I'm not on board unless I see a montage.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Da mihi montage, aut da mihi mortem.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-67633343455247499532014-04-12T18:04:00.002-04:002014-04-12T18:04:43.404-04:00Game 12, Socks @ NYY: I love when Lackey pitches<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvUrjfrVW3XKzwFvwO3Lpto-92UWJsjSmCgmstjS8e4xVvKCbRlNuClPmZvnT0HIBO9_VHylANtap_YXbaqo5bZd15Skk3GSrQc3A6KwgZf8ByHDI55cDPmmH8qzCmG0oZnlxDoCY9RHc/s1600/game12.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjvUrjfrVW3XKzwFvwO3Lpto-92UWJsjSmCgmstjS8e4xVvKCbRlNuClPmZvnT0HIBO9_VHylANtap_YXbaqo5bZd15Skk3GSrQc3A6KwgZf8ByHDI55cDPmmH8qzCmG0oZnlxDoCY9RHc/s1600/game12.png" height="144" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WIN.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Kevin Long was really excited today. I mean, I don't remember seeing any shots of him during the game or anything, but I really wish I did. <br />
<br />
The whole game was sort of like watching a movie or something. Or a Central Park softball game.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv3JQvSAmEdUHXihQZgmaugkGdUhu9OZ3YmAPAlKpbUhu5kAMkxZtpg8sX44OFU_-IRH1mDNI3xClftWa7M1dwKTNDgVCE9GNPLsdK9RqXxfbXbqiJgKJE1tITWppgoTbV6C8aBzVti4Q/s1600/lackeypile.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgv3JQvSAmEdUHXihQZgmaugkGdUhu9OZ3YmAPAlKpbUhu5kAMkxZtpg8sX44OFU_-IRH1mDNI3xClftWa7M1dwKTNDgVCE9GNPLsdK9RqXxfbXbqiJgKJE1tITWppgoTbV6C8aBzVti4Q/s1600/lackeypile.png" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">John Lackey/Gomer Pyle/Terrifying</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
It had a nice lazy feel to the game, and I'm pretty sure that's the first time I've ever used "nice" and "lazy" in the same sentence. <br />
<br />
Unless I said something like "It's nice that the Yankees got rid of his lazy ass." But that doesn't sound like a sentence I'd say, so I'm sticking with my original claim.<br />
<br />
The Yankees went old school and won with the long ball. 5 bombs--2 from McCann, the rest from Beltran, A-So, and Kelly Johnson.<br />
<br />
(Kelly Johnson can now be added to the list of players whose name is for some reason always said using both first and last names.)<br />
<br />
Only one Sock went yard, and it just really wasn't their day. <br />
<br />
Farrell tried to overturn a call in the 8th, and I'm sorry, but when I was trying to wrap my head around the whole instant replay thing, I thought you weren't allowed to use a challenge after the 6th inning? <br />
<br />
Don't you lose your challenge in the 7th inning? I'm almost positive that's what I read somewhere. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ74nH2Tadeh82KE1ABZbh3bbovz8u544yzXDxoxMiF64TIzIY6FsvZ965HJT6QSOk5UStaYQBLFdufJ4XH-F0Ze5kJFdb2XdfUyfPY3pLXxxJJIX6XofUJAWAGlnKql3uTpZwBmO6PeU/s1600/challenging.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ74nH2Tadeh82KE1ABZbh3bbovz8u544yzXDxoxMiF64TIzIY6FsvZ965HJT6QSOk5UStaYQBLFdufJ4XH-F0Ze5kJFdb2XdfUyfPY3pLXxxJJIX6XofUJAWAGlnKql3uTpZwBmO6PeU/s1600/challenging.jpg" height="320" width="116" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Challenging?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Also, I'm also fairly positive the replay showed that Dear Anna was very much out. but the umps ruled him safe. Either they were just like, "whatever, I don't feel like overturning this in Yankee Stadium. I want to make it back to my car in one piece."<br />
<br />
Or they remembered that there was no challenging after the 6th?<br />
<br />
Whatever, it was a good day for the Yanks. The only real glitches were A-So dropping an easy one in the first play that came his way. Also, I hate to stay this, but I wish there was a little more team chemistry. I never understood when in business it's cited as a bad thing to not have team chemistry. I get that it's desirable, but if the work's getting done right, who cares? <br />
<br />
But now I get it. Sort of. I'd rather have the Yankees even if they don't really know all the names of their teammates yet, than have the Red Socks who equate idiotic irreverance with victory. <br />
<br />
Tomorrow, the Yanks pit Nova against Felix, and based on their performance so far this year, it could be a little like watching a WNBA game..<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>Ego vellem vincere quam ut aut excitant.</em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-42030335261073862292014-04-12T01:09:00.000-04:002014-04-12T01:09:03.853-04:00Game 11, Socks @ NYY: Grrrrr (ady)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVTTgK0UhoEhJZa-JdDeMiinEp4TlmMqAUVru5SqzhmICHzjJ0Irg1J06DE9hToJJrYfBpai2sa9KPP45lJc8aLiiKEMTZS06-4KDsAAcb87Z-H8tfM2ES46Txxkj8QivAOHZLnT9cbv0/s1600/game11.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVTTgK0UhoEhJZa-JdDeMiinEp4TlmMqAUVru5SqzhmICHzjJ0Irg1J06DE9hToJJrYfBpai2sa9KPP45lJc8aLiiKEMTZS06-4KDsAAcb87Z-H8tfM2ES46Txxkj8QivAOHZLnT9cbv0/s1600/game11.png" height="166" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loss.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Well, Tubbo.com was dealing like the Tubbo.com v2009. Which was awesome. I have to say, though, I severely miss watching him wipe sweat off his hands on his X (x 10<sup>9</sup>)L jersey. I miss Fatso's fat(so). <br />
<br />
Lester pitched really well, sadly, and doubly sadly because I look at the kind of Red Sock he's become, and it's like a Lifetime movie plot about a guy who just goes down the wrong path and he thinks he's got it allll under control but everyone is noticing something's amiss.<br />
<br />
I don't remember the original Lester version having such a hair-trigger temper. This guy was like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKi34_9yT5E" target="_blank">a Lester/Papelbon freak/Lackey.</a><br />
<br />
Argh. So, the two much hyped aces battle it out, and it looked like a quiet iteration of your standard Yankee-Boston fare. Pitcher's duel, which I love but yet also hate because once the whole thrill of an exciting game wears off, I'm left with the stark realization that my team barely eeked out AH run. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGyJOX5wFFg" target="_blank">Let alone many runs to necessiate an entire rack.</a><br />
<br />
Then A-So hits a homerun, and don't get me wrong, I like anyone who takes a Boston pitcher deep (pause?) but I weirdly have some inexplicable residual disgruntled-ness over his early refusal to get on base. I'm turning into my parents, I swear. <br />
<br />
Who never seem to age at all, who still look 30 years younger than they are, but what they preserved in youthful appearance the make up for in lost interest in supporting data. ("Well, I saw Cathy doing her laundry today, and I think she's in over her head." "Like...in life or in laundry?" "Um...both. Life, mostly. And laundry.")<br />
<br />
I digress, of course, A-So hits a great shot and it's a nice 1-0 game for a little bit until Jonny Gomes goes deep to tie it up, and Round Boy was mad at himself. <br />
<br />
He even cursed into his glove between innings, which was a notable step above the stations muting "F%&!" but not blurring out the very <a href="http://www.baseballprospectus.com/u/images/Weaver.gif" target="_blank">defined slow motion mouth gyrations.</a><br />
<br />
Thank you for being considerate even in your hour of frustration, Big Guy.<br />
<br />
Lester wasn't as classy. But he was better. Very similar outings from the 2 starters, the stats were nearly identical except an impressive 9Ks for Lard, vs 6 for Lester. Oh, yeah. And there was a homerun discrepancies. 2 vs 1. This is why stats are useless, yeah? <br />
<br />
Because that 9Ks make our boy look like a stud, but the only number worth reading in the line score is the HR box. Because that second one to Sizemore broke us.<br />
<br />
3-run bomb. 4-1. Yanks started to answer with a mini-rally (a "baby mouse bite" rally, as my youngest sister would say). Kelly Johnson looked terrified batting with 2 outs and 2 men on. Like, big time terrified, a la that scene in "Rookie of the Year" when the kid is batting for the first time ever.<br />
<br />
The Socks make it out of the game without further incident, and SPEAKING of no incidents, I'd like to go on record saying that I think Girardi is acting like a weirdo.<br />
<br />
When Tubbo was clearly laboring big time in the 6th inning (and starting to show signs in the 5th, I think), Girardi watched. And watched, and watched. Until the no-spring-chicken pitcher went a good amount beyond the 100 mark. <br />
<br />
WHY? Because you're trying to preserve your money bullpen? Who the hell are Cabral, Warren, and Betances that you can't take out your work horse?<br />
<br />
The relievers did well, but the damage had already been done. Girardi also had Yangervis throwing down a bunt to lead off, a guy whose batting average looks more like an SAT score. <br />
<br />
Sneach is mysteriously in and out of the lineup, even though you should always put him in, ALWAYS, if for no other reason than to facilitate the inevitable moment when Sneach reveals he's not human, by rounding the bases without ever touching the dirt. <br />
<br />
GGBG is the pinch hitter with 2 outs in the 9th. <br />
<br />
And Brian Roberts, who's batting an anemic .150 or something, remains in play. He is aggressively mediocre.<br />
<br />
But apparently so is the rest of the league. As my dad said, "I saw the Yankees were in first..."<br />
<br />
Me: "YEAH! Cool, right??"<br />
<br />
Dad: "Well, I think everyone's in first, though."<br />
<br />
He's right, as usual.<br />
<br />
Now let's hope that Girardi snaps out of whatever bizarro delirium he's in. He's managing his team like he's a substitute teacher or something. <br />
<br />
<em>(It should be noted that what I know about managing a professional baseball team is based on a resume that boasts approximately zero percent experience in this field. I usually give the dude the benefit of the doubt for this very reason, but I'm now going based on his glassy, vacant stare.)</em><br />
<br />
In fairness, I probably wouldn't like it very much if Girardi started saying shit like "Oh c'MON, Kris! Jesus, what's wrong with this girl? Everyone knows that you gotta make the headline big and you gotta make it red if anyone's gonna pay attention to it! These are poor copywriting decisions that I feel comfortable enough to unequivocally criticize."<br />
<br />
Lackey faces off against Kuroda on Saturday, and I'm really looking forward to watching the game on the couch and passing out in the 2nd or 3rd inning and waking up an inning and a half later, with drool dried on my cheek and the afternoon sun coming in the window, and seeing the Yankees have taken a 7-run lead.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Pauca res sum melior quam baseball et somnus.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-2602239227241674152014-04-11T00:24:00.001-04:002014-04-11T00:24:28.619-04:00Game 10, Socks @ NYY: Dear Anna, thank you for the win, Love CYCWoot woot! Yanks take the first of the series with the BIGGEST RIVAL IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS, thanks to an absolutely sterling performance from Michael Pineda. Is it weird his first name is Michael and not Miguel? Yes. Yes, I think it is. That's a totally normal, not offensive comment, seriously. <br />
<br />
Well, I guess it depends on who you ask. And I mean that in reference to the "sterling performance" comment, since from where I was sitting, it looked pretty badass. From the visitors' dugout, on the other hand, it look pretty "dark."<br />
<br />
"Not Miguel" has pine tar on his hand. Or dirt. Or a fundamental demonstration of the shadow and light principles. Or sweat with dirt. I can't really tell. The old pine tar accusation gag, eh. Ha. Red Socks will do anything, ANYTHING I tell you, to win the Who Can Pantomime the Yankees Best? Contest.<br />
<br />
Well, nothing really came of the pine tar shit, as far as I can tell, which means ESPN will probably escalate it to cinematic proportions, because how else can a pitcher have a good outing? I mean, <a href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2009/10/crazy_yankee_ch_24.php" target="_blank">just look at this schmuck who spent his career completely irrelevant and then magically has a good outing? </a><br />
<br />
In the aggressive campaign to completely ruin the game of baseball, the <strike>ESPN</strike> ESPublicRelations are just doing their part, because it's not fair for the instant replay and plate collision rules to do ALL the heavy lifting.<br />
<br />
Anyways, the Yankees prevailed despite Not Miguel's insidious crime, not BECAUSE of it. Of course. The Yanks' bullpen didn't implode, which was cute--thank you Cesar Cabral and Phelps. Tomorrow we may hear that John Farrell played the game under protest after accusing the relievers of zapping magic spells on the baseballs. <br />
<br />
See, Farrell never even brought up the pine tar. It's basically ESPN being like the bitchy Trouble-Stirrer-Upper in high school who says shit like, "I mean, I don't know if I should say anything, but Tommy looked a little TOO friendly with Kelly last night."<br />
<br />
In actual baseball performance news, Nava hit a homerun for the Bean Team, which meant the announcers fell over themselves to relay the apropos stat about Nava being only 1 of 2 players ever to hit a grand slam on his first pitch in the majors ever. Not for nothing, but that IS a pretty ridiculous stat. Even more ridiculous is the fact it's happened more than once.<br />
<br />
Continuing along the lines of being magnanimous in victory, I'll give credit again to the Red Socks for a) a couple of sick catches in the outfield and b) for Cheekbones' pitching performance. I don't know why--because his pitches are unassailably filthy--but he just doesn't scare me. You know, there's pitchers like Halladay. Or Lee. Or Darvis. At some point all those guys struck fear into my heart like the sight of Mo struck fear into the hearts of opposing fans in the 9th inning.<br />
<br />
But Cheekbones doesn't do that. Probably because I can't get past how his bone structure could cut through glass. <br />
<br />
HEY! UMP! LET'S GO AHEAD AND CHECK THAT SHIT OUT, YEAH? <br />
<br />
That's it with niceties about the BIGGEST RIVAL IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS. Did anyone think Ortiz was dangerously close to pulling a drop-your-bat-and-pause-like-an-asshole-after-going-yard move...when he hit a ground rule double? Asshole. Also, moron. Furthermore, faulty depth perception. Yeah, you heard me, Papi. Your visual acuity's so fat, when it sits around the house, it sits AROUND the house, na wuh im sayin? Yeah, me neiter.<br />
<br />
Dear Anna hit a homerun, but unfortunately he didn't grin in wild exuberance when running around the bases. He must have a dad who told him not to celebrate in the end zone and to act like he's been there before. <br />
<br />
Yangervis didn't have another 2934 for 2934 game, but had a broken bat shot that culminated in a pretty good play by Nava. Whatever. Sorry, I was too distracted by the weirdass move Yangervis made to like 2nd base which I guess was some kind of lefty shift? But at first I thought our neophyte just forgot what position he played (which would be understandable considering how erratic this whole musical infielders thing has been.)<br />
<br />
Also, the Yankees won, so there. And we got your boy Jacoby, who brought in a run. A-So brought in a run, too, in a very A-So way, ie by grounding into a double play.<br />
<br />
Fatso starts against Jon "The Red Socks were a bad influence on me. I'd look better in Pinstripes" Lester. The Yanks win. Boston doesn't do well. And their flag remains at the end of the AL East section of the Yankee Stadium façade. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em>Et hoc est quod Boston habere non possunt quae tincidunt.</em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-64387474412774782992014-04-09T23:35:00.001-04:002014-04-09T23:35:29.913-04:00Game 9, O's @ NYY: Who had the under on Days Before Bullpen Would Be Issue?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig7tyU_hBe2mRL8-lZm9p93ixoH_tvi75JLewMGIT83dmCMVyfNkpIoyuDCQ0iIRj1XWkyrhAG1OAbw8ScATQaIVJc3ADiSjv4K-VVuKwtOeI1nQzosiW6tEdkw0N8xQfSVd6gMTiigm0/s1600/game9.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEig7tyU_hBe2mRL8-lZm9p93ixoH_tvi75JLewMGIT83dmCMVyfNkpIoyuDCQ0iIRj1XWkyrhAG1OAbw8ScATQaIVJc3ADiSjv4K-VVuKwtOeI1nQzosiW6tEdkw0N8xQfSVd6gMTiigm0/s1600/game9.png" height="139" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LOSS.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
The Baltimore Orioles rallied in the 9th the beat the New York Yankees. <br />
<br />
This collection of words should only be seen in <a href="http://www.theonion.com/articles/on-the-orioles-hot-start,28403/" target="_blank">one place and one place only</a>.<br />
<br />
Tanaka was aces tonight, though, despite giving up a quick 3 runs right from the get go (which means we're at 100% with an n of 2, in the developing hypothesis that he's using the ol' Teixeira "Slow Start is Really a Pretty Money Move, Trust Me" playbook.) <br />
<br />
He starts off a liitttttle questionable, and then he looks like a million bucks. (Which is technically an insult, I guess, to him. So, let me revise my statement to he starts out looking like a million bucks and then settles down and starts dealing.)<br />
<br />
10 Ks from the Japanese guy is impressive. The O's starter is the type of pitcher that most teams salivate over. And when I say "salivate over," I mean that in terms of batting against him. Like cartoon dogs floating in the air hooked to the smell of bacon. Gonzalez is hittable but not toooo hittable to make your overswing. He's really what me and my college housemates would term a NGB. "Nice guy/girl, but...." Eh.<br />
<br />
That said, the Yankees aren't most other teams. In fact, they're not ANY of the other teams, as it were. They're the Yankees, so they made this pitcher look like freaking Bob Gibson or something. Except they were hitting him, but not. I don't know how the numbers in this game make sense. <br />
<br />
Gonzalez was staked to a 3-0 lead (oh GOOOOOOD for you), and then the Yankees did that thing were they're like "You know what? Let's go ahead of just take a stab at throwing the whole 'run manufacturing' thing to the wind." <br />
<br />
The Yankee bats sometimes like to spead their money on scratch off tickets instead of sensible toiletries for the home. That is an analogy and, as far as I know, not something the Yankees actually do.<br />
<br />
Kelly Johnson connects for a ding, which brought his average up to a number that I think more closely reflects how I've perceived it to be. A-So drove in a run, which is befuddling but appreciated. Beltran was a stud and went like 2304 for 2304 or something. I'm not sure, but I felt like he was up every other batter, and he was "connecting on all cylinders" as the kids like to say.<br />
<br />
Robinson Sheffield forgot to connect on the cylinders, though, and in fairness, I do believe that that particular topic is an upper level cource and hence may require a special trip. <br />
<br />
You are still a nice peanut of a stud, Yangervis. So much so that I've waved off my ridiculously intelligent and informed baseball guru Ollie, when he told me that Yangervis Solarte is NOT > Tyler Ross. Hey all things being equal, I'm gravitating towards the weird name. Any additional info on the origin of this name and the correct pronunciation would be appreciated.<br />
<br />
You know who isn't being relevant? Brian Roberts. <br />
<br />
And you know who hasn't been in the line-up again? Sneach. WTF? This is like when my sis and I were in the same fantasy league, and the commissioner of the league kept offering one BS trade after another for Brandon Phillips, and after I'd turn them down, he'd be all, "What! No, seriously, Amy Smart has like a lot of keeper league value." <br />
<br />
Anyways, so my sister offers me something like Jeter and Aramis Ramirez (this was 2008), so I give her Phillips, and she promptly benches him. SOLELY to piss of the commish. He predictably goes ape shit, and she responds by saying: "What. I think he's gotten a big head from all the attention, and I think he needs to spend a few weeks on the bench thinking about how he sees himself as a part of this franchise."<br />
<br />
The point being (aside from the fact that this is why chicks shouldn't play fantasy) is that perhaps Girardi is doing something similar to Sneach, BECAUSE WHY ELSE WOULDNT YOU PUT THE LITTLE LOONY TUNE ELF IN???!!<br />
<br />
Sigh.<br />
<br />
Anyways, I don't want to belabor the whole Shawn Kelley screwing us out of our first walk-off chance and marching us into a disappointing game loss as well as a series loss as we head into the Boston series. I do no want to belabor this point because it's 9 games into the season, and I'm guessing that with D-Rob injured, there will be quite a few opporunities to wax cranky about life post-Mo.<br />
<br />
Also, speaking of <a href="http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/24519120/adam-jones-has-outstanding-feelings-on-fans-who-run-onto-field" target="_blank">melodramatic</a>: what's worse/worst? The fans running onto the field. The ridiculous amount of attention it got when I thought that was exactly what the game hopes to avoid. Or the disproportionate reaction from Adam "If I can't play like Cobb, maybe my Tom Ripley-ing of him will do the trick" Jones.<br />
<br />
Red Sock time. Which means:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<em><span style="font-size: large;"><strong>Historia summa aemulatio in ludos!</strong></span></em></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-79567444610357157502014-04-09T04:26:00.003-04:002014-04-09T04:26:24.290-04:00Game 8, O's @ NYY: Home is where the short porch is<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDugz-FBFxQP52C3FxINyQGsw-uL0GoSGM39Nc09p4v-FLShF8EAC6iEht3qBozL5Bw2NZ51Dt4TqrugV8f8SWWuiOXbeaiuHOWPU4jmVJ58JRDA-QmFepFuwstlV7zp5_07D8UbQ-Hc/s1600/game8.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjdDugz-FBFxQP52C3FxINyQGsw-uL0GoSGM39Nc09p4v-FLShF8EAC6iEht3qBozL5Bw2NZ51Dt4TqrugV8f8SWWuiOXbeaiuHOWPU4jmVJ58JRDA-QmFepFuwstlV7zp5_07D8UbQ-Hc/s1600/game8.png" height="90" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loss.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Two day games in a row? Is that normal? Yes, that's what was most notable about the 2nd home game. The fact it was another 1:05 start time. Not the drubbing the Yanks received at the hands of a team whose name is almost always uttered with the same inflection/intonation as someone who says he/she met his/her significant other online. You know what I mean, it's like this staunch loyalty mixed with a slint hint of apologetic sheepishness. <br />
<br />
(Oh yeah, no post for the home opener because I was in attendance, and now that I'm at the ripe old age of 33, a day of drinking beer in 40 degree weather in a relatively tight ie intense game, renders me so useless that even when me and my buddies tried to extend the celebration to a bar post-game, I realized I had exactly enough energy left in me to get home, do laundry, and google "how to plant tomato seeds." And even that was an overestimate, since I never made it to the google.)<br />
<br />
So after beating the Orioles in a tight game on Monday, I returned to work Tuesday and patched together a game-viewing experience through a variety of media, because no one likes an employee who parks herself in the kitchen and changes "Law & Order" to a Yankee game. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjate_YKtYF9XfKSwSQhqM4OsvEmWUEk-lRyk4Mm51pPFIVkOrvMYut1AmZ9MwcQqac-gTq1bcDXEI0F-3r8-eV2ms_7skGWt5F_UqRMKkvk8-ijbxiLPHjjm9exTGHK5SqZfxgizOw59k/s1600/thegang.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjate_YKtYF9XfKSwSQhqM4OsvEmWUEk-lRyk4Mm51pPFIVkOrvMYut1AmZ9MwcQqac-gTq1bcDXEI0F-3r8-eV2ms_7skGWt5F_UqRMKkvk8-ijbxiLPHjjm9exTGHK5SqZfxgizOw59k/s1600/thegang.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Opening Day Win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Actually, I think it's one of those weird workplace standards where it's ok to eat lunch in the kitchen to follow the stories of two separate yet equally important groups: the police, who investigate crime; and the district attorneys, who prosecute the offenders. <br />
<br />
But skipping in with your grilled cheese and getting highly invested in a day game--for whatever reason--can potentially undermine your work ethic. <br />
<br />
Whatever, I was very much okay with getting the stoic updates from Gamecast rather than indulging in a depressing film noir showing of a dramatic shots of dejected fans.<br />
<br />
And I can count myself lucky, since how much does it suck to go to the trouble of using a day off from work, only to witness Showalter's boys smack us around for 20 hits, seemingly every other one of those a long ball. <br />
<br />
Nova didn't last 4 innings even, and got yanked probably later than he should have, but it's not like the bullpen did anything helpful in terms of putting a tourniquet on the run hemorrhaging. Every O got a hit AND a run--ridiculous--which is a quantity matched on by the number of apologies/explanations/self-flagellating deprecation comments that Nova stammered in the post-game.<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, he failed to default to the <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GIEHPGj9sI" target="_blank">best ever rationale ever given by a Yankee pitcher</a>. Or maybe just ever given by a human being, actually.<br />
<br />
I like this breed of TMI better than the the "sinker ball was in the zone, off day, blah blah" TMI. The only person whose little "layman's terms" pitching clinics I really enjoy are those of Al Leiter when he's in the booth. <br />
<br />
In the land of silver lining stuff, there's Jacoby who continues to be a <a href="http://youtu.be/RTrAVpK9blw?t=44s" target="_blank">better-than-bad-it's-good</a> pick-up. Like, a lot better-than-bad. I hope he doesn't feel like Adam Banks when he got traded to the slow-starting Mighty Ducks. <br />
<br />
Then there's Robinson Sheffield who Ollie lol-ed me when I impulsively grabbed him up in fantasy after Game 2. He's putting up a bunch of Kevin Maas-esque binge stats, so at least Elias Sports Bureau is keeping busy. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrlwPzZLPI8dE2_V_hdNqRuGyUWDWlcXytgHtgi2Y6vvzw8Bfb4MIXx0bGPMiSCyiQhtHnf8b42myfVITR9pfLsCEwgvBKY7GAUzsc4kLa77J50UObk-OBYkEhs5C4gWtOTLovhDLqLZI/s1600/robinsonsheffield.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrlwPzZLPI8dE2_V_hdNqRuGyUWDWlcXytgHtgi2Y6vvzw8Bfb4MIXx0bGPMiSCyiQhtHnf8b42myfVITR9pfLsCEwgvBKY7GAUzsc4kLa77J50UObk-OBYkEhs5C4gWtOTLovhDLqLZI/s1600/robinsonsheffield.png" height="133" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">See?? Tell me you can't see where I'm coming from...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Kelly Johnson had a bomb in the 8th, a quiet one, which is somewhat comical since you know what would happen if Arod had gone yard late in the game when the Yanks were down by 10? Mostly, a lot of vitiol, etc. <br />
<br />
I was actually surprised Kelly Johnson's average was as low as it was when it showed up on the Jumbotron at Monday's game. Hasn't he been the requisite John Olerud of the bunch, the put-yout-head-down-and-work-and-do-your-job-satisfactorially-if-not-spectacularly? <br />
<br />
Beltran chipped in a ribbie, but when the entire Baltimore line-up is eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast, the luke-warm stabs at run-manufacturing are kind of wasted and all. <br />
<br />
You know, eating pieces of shit sinker balls for breakfast probably wouldn't do your stomach any favors.<br />
<br />
Oh yeah, and speaking of luke-warm and favors (pause?), Soriano hit a home run. Fantastic. Now he's never going to f'n try to get base hits, like, ever. <br />
<br />
And speaking of things that <a href="http://youtu.be/NfDmxN3RBY4?t=41s" target="_blank">don't happen in ever,</a> Super Mario played 1B today. Normal. Nope. God, please don't let Girardi start tapdancing into the Maddon Scientology School of Management. Please, no.<br />
<br />
Anyway, Wednesday's game brings our expensive toy gun to the mound for his first Bronx debut. Not sure how forgiving the stadium's going to be if he gets TANAKA-ED AROUND. Yep, said it. Can't unsay it.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Pulsate pulso. Quis est hic? Tanaka. Tanaka qui? Tanaka, vel no Tanaka. Quod est in quaestione.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-72009566135466856722014-04-05T00:44:00.004-04:002014-04-05T00:44:56.418-04:00Game 4, NYY @ J's: The Japanese Guy Starts<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAjvmXplP4xOJvEdIbCbpROiB_bG8Zp5yeXpg79w4tV-veg2H8qMvsEH4IF8uIJ7omzNRFGtMGAz9EO-GH-n3JtuYiCAxIq01MK6wTUZEfAm05eaL17zSa5pRrzl4URJMEgHqsQL63y0Y/s1600/game4.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAjvmXplP4xOJvEdIbCbpROiB_bG8Zp5yeXpg79w4tV-veg2H8qMvsEH4IF8uIJ7omzNRFGtMGAz9EO-GH-n3JtuYiCAxIq01MK6wTUZEfAm05eaL17zSa5pRrzl4URJMEgHqsQL63y0Y/s1600/game4.png" height="154" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">WIN.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Oh, Tanaka. Welcome to American baseball. <br />
<br />
Oh, Lauren Pollina, WELCOME TO YOUR BIRTHDAY!!!<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHEcrefApxpKHR9CS2b14vgCFmPcRwOcEZ_chBBv6URfKrAwwADdNOPw8pYzhILxurMFIHVpsBr-fzEV2eoNdarxdzY_wcjDkvYhqAILuP7LJfQvsfgUxmcbMWeHbJS9EPPeWTrjiVj0/s1600/ldawgzpo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEHEcrefApxpKHR9CS2b14vgCFmPcRwOcEZ_chBBv6URfKrAwwADdNOPw8pYzhILxurMFIHVpsBr-fzEV2eoNdarxdzY_wcjDkvYhqAILuP7LJfQvsfgUxmcbMWeHbJS9EPPeWTrjiVj0/s1600/ldawgzpo.jpg" height="214" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Me and Ldawgzo at Old Timer's Day 2005</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Unlike my sister who ALWAYS surpasses the hype, the Japanese kind of just answered the hype in an appropriate if not spectacular manner?<br />
<br />
Yeah, there was a LOT of hype around this guy, as there generally for any pitcher whose starting salary could bankroll implementation of a small off-shore civilization. <br />
<br />
Also, he's Japanese, so his talent is worth more because it's never been actually demonstrated in American Major League Baseball. <br />
<br />
Also, the mysterious does-he-doesn't-he around the speaking/language barrier is an asset that is worth its weight in gold.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry, I'm giving the kid a hard time for no reason. Except the reason that was he let up a homerun to Melky Cabrera within 3 pitches of his very first outing. Somewhere, Stephen Strausberg is exhaling a sigh of relief, as he tightens his grib a little more possessively on his "I beat the hype" trophy.<br />
<br />
It was a veritable smorgasboard of Japanese tv shots, from the panning around the dugout to the Asian players, to the terrifyingly austere shots of the Japanese film crews and photographers. We get it. Japan loves their baseball players. <br />
<br />
I love when the Yankees win. Which is what they did tonight in a very, very odd manner. <br />
<br />
Game notes:<br />
<br />
The Yankees overturned a call by virtue of some extremely complicated relay system between Tony Pena and Joe Girardi that I don't even remotely understand. Sneach beats out the throw to first, as Sneach is want to do, and he's called out. Girardi challenges it. And so opened a whole ginormous can of worms that I wish I never saw. <br />
<br />
"Call Overturned" is something I should never see flashed across my tv screen in relation to a baseball game, and I say this after said overturned call realllly worked to the Yanks' favor, allowing Robinson Sheffield to hit a go-ahead double in the 3rd.<br />
<br />
The game lasted 3:26 minutes but for some reason it felt much longer...maybe it was the creative medley of game delayers, like the fan who ran across the field, the challenges, then reviews, and of course the strange exit of Teixeira (Teixit). Ok, apparently he got hurt, but since it was right after his, like, 3rd error in as many games, I legitimately thought Girardi came out to serve Tex with an arrest warrant or something.<br />
<br />
And Tex DID look pretty much storming off the field. No news yet on whether Tex is just being "first 3 months of the season carte blanche" Tex. Or whether we got to start getting more comfortable with Kelly Johnson at 1st.<br />
<br />
I know that in the past few years, the Yankee line-up isn't always what we remembered it to be in the classic Yankee sense. But there was something particularly Central Park softball league-y about today's murderer's row. <br />
<br />
Like they were the lineup you assemble when it's 4:45 and half of your team emails to say they can't come to the game, and you're scrambling to pick up enough players before 6 so you don't have to forfeit a game to a team call "McCormack's Half Pints" or something.<br />
<br />
Especially, Jeter's esteemed back from SD: "Dear Anna."<br />
<br />
No, I didn't mean Dean. Dear Anna. That's his name. <br />
<br />
Seriously, when I saw the infield positions at the beginning of the game, I was basically positive that they couldn't field a team, so they called someone's girlfriend to come in and play and that's how someone named "Anna" ended up at SS.<br />
<br />
His defense? Ehhhhhh.<br />
<br />
He got a hit though, as did every Replacement Yankee today, except B-Rob. I continue to be impressed by this team's speed, though. Like Jacoby had 2, GGBG had 1, and B-Rob threw on another. And I'm pretty sure Kelly Johnson randomly posted a triple today. Just for fun.<br />
<br />
Robinson Sheffield had another ridic day, going 2 for 5 with 2 doubles, and 3 ribbies, and a lot of smiling, and stellar fielding. He looks and plays like a kid who will play as absolutely hard as he can because he knows how lucky he is to be here. <br />
<br />
And that's straight up Mom-genes talking, as I can now cite April 5, 2014 as the day I first started doing my Mom's thing of inventing stories about complete strangers and passing them off as hush-hush fact.<br />
<br />
In terms of the pitching, Tanaka gets up through 7 innings, with 8Ks, and only 3 runs (2 earned), and I gotta say, I was not as impressed as I guess I was prepared to be, but I've already forgotten about my lack in impression since the Yankees won. The relievers bridged to the way nicely to the W, with Thorton, Betances, and D-Rob synthesizing their forces to yield a hit-less final 2 innings. <br />
<br />
You know what's weird? I don't think I've ever said this before, but if I had to pick a weakness on the Yankees right now, a weak skill set (or lack their of, etc)...it wouldn't be the batting, the manufacturing runs, the slugging, the RISP BAs....not the pitching, relief, or otherwise...no, the biggest weakness I see right now is the the infield defense.<br />
<br />
Maybe I'm just spoiled from the whole Jeter-Robbie-Tex-Arod-iron curtain thing. But the Yankees just don't commit errors (fielding ones anyway), and they looked a little less that crisp out there. Like, I was finding myself excited to see successfully turned routing double plays.<br />
<br />
Which reminds me, congrats to the Mets for their 1st win!<br />
<br />
Tomorrow Pineda goes up against Dickey. This should be interesting.. (Yeah, let's go ahead and add Toronto to the list of teams/fan who are officially never allowed to make the inane "Yankees buy their team" hiss.)<br />
<br />
CHEERS!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Plurimos annos ad meus soror mirum!</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-50849487385540259732014-04-04T00:17:00.005-04:002014-04-04T00:17:36.417-04:00Game 3, NYY @ HOU: MAGIC NUMBER 159!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgfEZcSct-Tod81JtU5-G3OuL_sE-nGbvIZcKL6LAqc3XizQX-5Jr3IXaa13s6krtUs-v_7zOtLTdCWj5Za6oGoaaiNfwG_ewZr87xBuXGGGwYY_e1XrzDC_6Qkrcn4LV-rDGXhAQULLY/s1600/game3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgfEZcSct-Tod81JtU5-G3OuL_sE-nGbvIZcKL6LAqc3XizQX-5Jr3IXaa13s6krtUs-v_7zOtLTdCWj5Za6oGoaaiNfwG_ewZr87xBuXGGGwYY_e1XrzDC_6Qkrcn4LV-rDGXhAQULLY/s1600/game3.png" height="111" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">FIRST WIN.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
THUHHHHH YANKEES WIN!<br />
<br />
Well, that was fun!<br />
<br />
I laughed a lot during the game, especially during the last 3 innings, because the announcers were acting like it was a 17-3 game in the 2nd inning. Or the way announcers act when it's the 18th inning and they forget where they are and start slipping into micronaps.<br />
<br />
Yeah, but this game in the 7th inning-ish, and the silliness really started with a comment that made me giddy... a fairly non sequitor reference to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_yn9-u6w_MI" target="_blank">Arod's walk-off error against the Mets.</a><br />
<br />
And then from there, they began talking about all the dance moves Brian Roberts was doing on first base. (For the record, I counted a total of zero dance moves, but, you know, semantics.) This segued into an all out giggle-fest that touched upon such topical issues as Emmit Smith on Dancing With the Stars, and the like.<br />
<br />
Also, it was a 4-2 game. Pretty exciting, really. I mean, I know this is about the time when Sterling starts talking about shit like running into Bernie Williams at the supermarket and how Bernie's a great GREAT guy who, you know, Suzyn, LOVES. PICKLES. And here's the count. Ball four.<br />
<br />
Nah, this wasn't an exciting game or anything.<br />
<br />
But, speaking of counts, apparently they're pretty tough. I mean, <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=617399284911&l=4be55a7f84" target="_blank">you will hear NO ARGUMENT FROM ME about how math is mega challenging</a>. HOWEVAH, I'd like to think that in a situation where my livelihood is primarily based on keeping on top of a pitch count, I'd be able to keep track of it without convening a mid-inning summit of minds, and a gratuitous deployment of the PITCH COUNT REVIEW ALLOWANCE.<br />
<br />
Seriously! I mean, even if I blacked out as the announcers clearly had, I would have just made something up. I would NEVER want to admit to my fellow ump coworkers, the thousands of attending fans, and the millions of tv viewers that when it comes down to it, all the technology in the world can't replace the old fashioned beauty of an abacus.<br />
<br />
Somewhere, typewriter and snail mail advocates are jumping up and high fiving in triumph.<br />
<br />
The Yankees, by the by, are also doing that. Because they won!<br />
<br />
Because Yangervis Solarte is a stud that I obviously immediately picked up off waivers because I'm an impulse shopper and because I only have one Yankee on my team so far. Forget all the stuff I said yesterday about him being a weirdo for wearing a gold chain. <br />
<br />
Apparently that Robinson Sheffied swing of his is more than a little potent, as the neophyte went 3 for 3 with 2 runs and a ribbie. And a SICK catch at 3rd that prompted my favorite expression: "Can't hit em harder than that!"<br />
<br />
Sure you could. Sure you could, Kay. You could hit it so hard that it took someone's head off. Or at the very least, socks. But I'll give you that it was an f'n smoked rope to 3B. It spun around Solarte like a top but it was a great catch. And he smiled, dimply. He should call his parents after this game, because they're gonna wanna know ALL the DETAILS.<br />
<br />
"Did you get the ball?? For God's sake, Yangy, please tell me you got the ball. Did everyone want your autograph afterwards? I bet that Derek Jeter guy did. You know, I'm not just saying this because I'm your mother, but I saw him looking at you and saying 'Why can't I hit like that guy?' I'm telling you!"<br />
<br />
GGBG and Sneach looked great. Espleshly Sneach, and no one really ever answered my question about why in God's name he wasn't playing games 1 and 2?? He's such a little sneach around the bases! Remember when he scored from 2nd on a dropped pop up to the pitcher/catcher/3B? <br />
<br />
Yeah, me neither, because it happened so fast that normal measurements of time can't accurately capture it. Sneah doesn't believe in the whole time continuum thing. Badass.<br />
<br />
Unlike games 1 and 2, there was an inside out effect of the lineup, in that we got nada from our heart of the order, and key hitting from the bookends. Adorable. <br />
<br />
The other Yankee Roberts made his "I know, I know, I'm not Mo, but please can we put a cap on the number of mentions of this to around 10 a week?" debut. He did well. He's NOT MO, THOUGH. He's not.<br />
<br />
Also, I don't mean to be a dick, but I goggled it a lot, and what's wrong with Brett "Astros Pitcher of the Year" Oberholtzer's face, skin-wise? You'd think the reigning 2013 APotY Champ could be afforded some photoshop luxuries with that title, no?<br />
<br />
Yankees stranded fewer runners (6) and were 3 for 7 with RISP and they won the game and it was AMAZING. They came from behind (pause) and gutted it out and wore down the opposing pitchers for 158 pitches. <br />
<br />
Nova was Nova-y, which means stellar but not super dazzling, if that makes any sense at all. He is usually impressive, but never zingingly (sp? word, even?) spectacular, which I think is because his outs are groundouts and he looks intense most of the time.<br />
<br />
Usually that kind of out-producer has a Chien-Mien Wang-esque aplomb, while Nova intensity is more akin to Kyle Farnsworth strikeout lunatics. I'll tell you Suzyn, Baseball's a funny game.<br />
<br />
I, for one anyways, thought it was fun. HERE WE GO!!!!!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Hic venit in Yankees!</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-68524518620848509132014-04-03T00:39:00.004-04:002014-04-03T12:18:44.977-04:00Game 2, NYY @ HOU: The Quick (Feet) and the Dead (Bats)<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggz8qhFLdB8Ko0lMVKBdD3x_MDsYsc4fvS7U-2aVP6P93KC0yf4gujkS_GJMF78w4v_f1NSX2oM4yvXCTrSHmaZ6S5ThmRTDHcSxGWDBmQjMY5h-AyAPKT290tRquL7sw_SotWjDbSLc8/s1600/game2.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggz8qhFLdB8Ko0lMVKBdD3x_MDsYsc4fvS7U-2aVP6P93KC0yf4gujkS_GJMF78w4v_f1NSX2oM4yvXCTrSHmaZ6S5ThmRTDHcSxGWDBmQjMY5h-AyAPKT290tRquL7sw_SotWjDbSLc8/s1600/game2.png" height="140" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LOSS.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAHiHJ2AhYE&feature=youtu.be&t=10m59s" target="_blank">You know who I miss? Gary Sheffield.</a><br />
<br />
I say that for no real reason beyond the fact I've determined that there is a player on the Yankees whose swing looks like the love child of Cano and Sheffield. Also, what AJ Burnett did for our rotation, Sheffield did for our lineup. <br />
<br />
A complete lunatic who played like he was a stock character in a Kevin Costner-esque baseball movie. <br />
<br />
Like how Brian Roberts looks, as my coworker pointed out, "like the guy who bats in a baseball movie but doesn't play a significant role."<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhywBzA4yRWKh74gxBLU5WthWzFEhE5sEyUGpu0SomvSmbjsbnHyNJinQYx9qmLvwbv7dNJS4ER5nvp40esDu5RYxoyV4a8hyphenhyphenEXr-Z9ob_jsL0D0M1XShAfTCghmUJIBjvc-PmY540NCQ4/s1600/brianrobertssamtuttle.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhywBzA4yRWKh74gxBLU5WthWzFEhE5sEyUGpu0SomvSmbjsbnHyNJinQYx9qmLvwbv7dNJS4ER5nvp40esDu5RYxoyV4a8hyphenhyphenEXr-Z9ob_jsL0D0M1XShAfTCghmUJIBjvc-PmY540NCQ4/s1600/brianrobertssamtuttle.png" height="188" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">B-Rob and "Sam Tuttle" from "For Love of the Game"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
That said, Roberts was almost perfect today, 3-for-4, but this wasn't a significant role, since the rest of the team demonstrated an unwavering aversion to driving in runs. <br />
<br />
Well, allergy season and all, who can blame them for having excrutiating flareups. Pollen, grass, ragweed, homeplate... they're all in the same rhinitis silo, yeah?<br />
<br />
The Yanks lose again, and this one wasn't as shake-off-able as yesterday's, mostly because it wasn't a pitching problem. <br />
<br />
Well, Kuroda's "scouting report" was predictably nonsensical, as it purported "Houston has a problem." This was soon followed by a bomb 2 pitches into the game. Houston's only problem tonight was filling the stands. <br />
<br />
So, last night Fatty had 2 bad innings and the rest of the game was aight. Game 2 was a torturous reel of one batter after another dropping hydrochloric acid on scoring opportunities. It's easy to lambast one pitcher, one outing. It's harder to lambast a batting order. <br />
<br />
Oh, btw, it's game 2 of the season. This is all totally warranted criticism. Nope.<br />
<br />
But, giddy up, here I go anyway. <br />
<br />
See, if Jacoby wasn't of Red Blood, I wouldn't give his stepping up to the plate and coming up empty-ness a second thought. But there's a bigger burden of proof involved here (Cheers, Law and Order reference). <br />
<br />
I can't even think of a quasi-obnoxous nickname for him, because his parents already threw a gratuitous Y at the end of a perfectly good name, so how much more can I really do to add value?<br />
<br />
Speaking of names: Yangervis Solarte. He comes up to bat, and seriously at first I didn't realize that the PH designation at the end of his name, was a designation. I thought it was just another couple of letters involved in his name that no one was sure with which to do. <br />
<br />
Turns out he was the pinch hitter, and the pinch hitter, at that, who reminded me of Robinson Sheffield.<br />
<br />
He didn't play like one, though.He played like a collection of scrabble tiles, who wore an intimidating gold chain around his neck when everyone knows that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OcgscTnXRzA" target="_blank">if you want to be somebody, if you want to go somewhere, you better wake up and pay attention</a> to the Phiten necklaces that <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPzmdnWdIuc" target="_blank">allow you to throw baseballs through brick walls.</a><br />
<br />
Oh Yangervis Solarte(ph)! You have much to learn.<br />
<br />
<u>Other game notes:</u><br />
<br />
Tex made an error, and I'm gonna go ahead and say he did it on purpose to make Beltran feel better about his error from yesterday. Cuz that's what Tex does. Makes players more comfortable. (Pause.) For the record, I was referring to when he joined the team and Alex Rodriguez was happy to have an old pal there.<br />
<br />
As I said yesterday, so begins the season of delays- of-game every time Jeter is up at bat. Today was weird. Didn't they play the Astros yesterday? Why was today a de facto Jeter Appreciation Day? <br />
<br />
I mean, an offering of Jeter Cowboy Boots is obviously nothing to sneeze at. But if we're sneezing at unnecessary commemorative rituals, then I'd sneeze. <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYyaMI8sxJn60yJ5X97rdpo76bgeTcr9PlmYmyUcrB8qKLD0QARyRYgWT72X_sV-tiDSZRGVP0RmVQbcJ36QQ5NAOQngmIRYCHTAp4qiPwD_y9AcC_x0u9quhlTmvOAkh_mtq9lyrekgU/s1600/jeterpresents.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYyaMI8sxJn60yJ5X97rdpo76bgeTcr9PlmYmyUcrB8qKLD0QARyRYgWT72X_sV-tiDSZRGVP0RmVQbcJ36QQ5NAOQngmIRYCHTAp4qiPwD_y9AcC_x0u9quhlTmvOAkh_mtq9lyrekgU/s1600/jeterpresents.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Jeter presents. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
For Christ's sake, the bullpen even had to get up for his at-bat. When are they going to sleep??<br />
<br />
Things Minute Maid Park did NOT get up for (mercifully): 2 outs and 2 strikes. You know how I feel about this. Ron Guidry. Yankees. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.backtobaseball.com/blog/cat/7/post/91/" target="_blank">THIS IS WHERE THE 2-OUT 2-STRIKE STAND UP CLAPPING THING ORIGINATED.</a> <br />
<br />
Every other team who tries to embrace it belongs alongside the inventer of call-waitng, lime-flavored Tostitos, and capri pants. Yesterday the Houston fans were alllll about this "ritual." Today, not so much. <br />
<br />
That said, they were all about the Wave. If I'm a Mets fan, I'm pissed. Not because of the Wave in Houston. Just because I'm a Mets fan.<br />
<br />
I just learned that Pettite was the 1st and only MLB-er to have ZERO losing seasons. Don't judge me for just learning this since probably most everyone knows this, but wow. Kudos.<br />
<br />
どこで、Sneachですか? <br />
<br />
Also along the lines of Japanese stuff, when Kuroda pitched, the ads behind homeplate changed from StubHub to something in Japanese. Topical.<br />
<br />
Numbers-wise: Cosart is apparently a stud, and Kevin Long was excessively happy when he left the game, and then the Yankee bats just took a page from Beltran's book and stood with the lumber glued to their shoulders for the first pitch.Which I respect. <br />
<br />
Except the respect wanes when the subsequent pitches seen result in no base runners. A-So is waiting for his first hit, and I feel like I'm the Coach in Major League 2 who's yelling at Willy Mays Hays to <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Geq27Sb-_zM" target="_blank">"PUT THE BALL ON THE GROUND."</a> <br />
<br />
The entire Yankees line-up officially can double as the opposite side of the school gym during my 8th grade dance. What they lack in puberty, they make up for in runners LOB (8).<br />
<br />
So, the Astros take the series, and just to remind everyone, they're not the NL. Still confusing. <br />
<br />
My boy Nova starts tomorrow, which means our $23948234 bajillion starter is our 4th-man, which is exactly why everyone hates the Yankees (among other reasons, I suppose..) They take the best player from wherever they feel like it...and then bat him 8th. Or pitch him 4th. Unapologetically. Yet rationally. I love them.<br />
<br />
Tomorrow's a new day. But my prediction remains the same as it did yesterday: I got a good feeling about this team. <br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;"><span class="hps">Tertio</span> <span class="hps">est lepore</span>.</span></em></strong> </div>
<br />Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-19364764075437853182014-04-01T23:39:00.002-04:002014-04-03T11:23:30.632-04:00Game 1, NYY @ HOU: Oh, hello, Yankees. Fancy seeing you here.<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi89nUgc48tlE9xicr787CvuPwWlx_u4WeTBXIWDXvy8wf3BcGJMudvBatHr7NEeGCnMBakJaV_ifSJuD5jMLUrW3EombzLowuwNmqyXHo3lgMqzDkmhlMgiU7hBpa68_KY1gOlGjGEaI/s1600/game1.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhi89nUgc48tlE9xicr787CvuPwWlx_u4WeTBXIWDXvy8wf3BcGJMudvBatHr7NEeGCnMBakJaV_ifSJuD5jMLUrW3EombzLowuwNmqyXHo3lgMqzDkmhlMgiU7hBpa68_KY1gOlGjGEaI/s1600/game1.png" height="149" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">LOSS.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
WELCOME BACK INTO MY LIFE, YANKEES! Okay, so you lost, but if there is a fan among you who didn't get off on that familiar thrill of the makings of a comeback, then...well, <a href="http://my.mail.ru/video/mail/samchuk-mihail/57/61.html" target="_blank">I'll see YOU in hell.</a><br />
<br />
So, the Yankees lose this one because Tubbo.com pitched 2 innings of questionable ball. I say "questionable" as a courtesy to Round Boy, but I'm fairly certain that there weren't a whole lot of questions circulating amongs viewers, beyond "Why is he still wearing the same size uniform even though he's 4 sizes smaller?"<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZagyGcUSMkxKwD9enp7h7rxmCDhXRRkkz5XdIwEh_gTs7lSjhJmEZV3f8E9USfuELPMGkgXH5naciqkTYkg5mpDH528i91vDYNgYFoVABuO5E_bQ5JTok1NPnjN4zd2VPEhLwxA6DCU/s1600/halloween.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcZagyGcUSMkxKwD9enp7h7rxmCDhXRRkkz5XdIwEh_gTs7lSjhJmEZV3f8E9USfuELPMGkgXH5naciqkTYkg5mpDH528i91vDYNgYFoVABuO5E_bQ5JTok1NPnjN4zd2VPEhLwxA6DCU/s1600/halloween.png" height="174" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was the Incredible Shrinking Man for Halloween.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Yes, but in fairness, our boy DID give us a heads up seeing as almost every sound bite he's tossed out to the media in the last 7 months has been wildly self-deprecating. It's like he lost all this weight and now he;s turning into some MLB version of Lucas. No dramatic slow claps in this game though.<br />
<br />
Fatso went 6 innings, threw 99 pitches, whiffed 6, got taken yard twice, and was rocked for 6 runs in the first two innings. That's, like, Justin Chamberlain shit, yo. What the eff. You know what, though? Lard started Opening Day in 2009, the Yanks lost 10-2, and we all know how that season ended.<br />
<br />
It wasn't a worrisome start, it was an anticlimatic one. Which makes sense, because I guess Game 1 of the season shouldn't be climatic at all, otherwise I'd be in Silly World, Where Everything I Know Is Wrong.<br />
<br />
<u>Other game notes:</u><br />
<br />
I'm pretty sure at one point Beltran made it to first and tried to be all "Hey, what's up man" to Guzman, like the guy who's got people visiting him at his hometown, and he tries to act like he's Johnny Popular to look cool. Except Guzman was just having none of it. <br />
<br />
Oh, Beltran. It's cool, though, because Beltran dove headfirst into first base later on in the game, and that really showed Guzman and the world that Beltran means business. Kudos on the hard 90, boy. I respect it. Didn't as much respect the E he so gracelessly tacked on. Old Mets habits die hard I guess. Next thing you know Beltran will be doing Kiss Cam and Waves and the like. Whatever, Astro season or no, he'll always be a Met in my eyes. <br />
<br />
Jeter got hit by a pitch, and so begins a season of hearing the announcers wax philosophical, nostalgic, etc al, every time this future HOF-er steps up to the plate. (Do you see how I used that phrase "step up to the plate"? Jeter took a batting stance. He stepped up to the plate.)<br />
<br />
Speaking of, no one "stepped up to the plate" in the way that infuriates me, ie in the "LOOK HOW MUCH HE CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH!" So, basically no one stepped up to the plate and drove runs in when I needed them to. 2 for 8 with RISP, leaving 8 men on.<br />
<br />
Hey, you know who looked good? Teixeira. 2 for 3. Other hits came smack from the middle of the lineup, so I guess that means something can be said for the rationale behind the batting order? Yeah? Jeter, Beltran, and McCann. <br />
<br />
Our relievers looked good! And if memory serves, that is a requisite topic of season-long contention. So, I'm just putting this out there now, because in 2 months, we'll be wading through palpable vitriol about how WE NEED PITCHING! after the first spat of horribly blown games. AHHH, WHERE'S MO??!<br />
<br />
PS, I thought Nuno might have used the off season to realize a tilda may be an appropriate addition to his name. I'm pretty sure I've voiced my aversion to this already:<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
While we're getting into improvement-needed areas, your lack of tilde over the
second N in Nuno is distracting. It looks naked. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vidal_Nu%C3%B1o" target="_blank"><span style="color: #d72d02;">Wikipedia
evidently shares this sentiment</span></a>, and you know how for a little while they
were putting banner ads the size of Spain everywhere, begging for donations?
<br />
<br />
Well, if there was ever a reason for me to humor Wikipedia and all it's
uncitable glory, it's because they stood their ground when it came to the tilde.
<br />
<br />
They're running with it, because Wikipedia doesn't take ño shit from
anyone. </blockquote>
<br />
<br />
Well, Nuno. I've said my piece. Also, good pitching out there today.<br />
<br />
As for the lady with the pink hair who sat behind home plate? <br />
<br />
<a href="http://imgur.com/Cj3qrWK" target="_blank">This .</a> Also, I think you left the game early. Thus, <a href="http://imgur.com/QPciwmv" target="_blank">this</a> .<br />
<br />
Oh, also, did George Bush gain weight? Or was that Barbara's purse on his lap or something? I couldn't tell. <br />
<br />
BASEBALL'S BACK! See you tomorrow, Astros! I HOPE I hope I hope I hope I hope, Sneach is in the lineup. I feel like the Yankees would be a little more recognizable that way? Maybe. GGBG was the only Yankee in the lineup that was in the lineup in 2013's Opening Day. I don't know how this is significant, if at all. <br />
<br />
As always, I got a real good feeling about this team.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">The Yankees habere eos ubi volunt eos.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-4524142998783737232013-08-21T04:55:00.002-04:002013-08-21T04:56:37.783-04:00A birthday, a rookie, and 2 unlikely twinbill heroes<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Win. Win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Before I get into the recap of the suhh-weep of the twin bill, two items:<br />
<br />
<strong><u>First item</u></strong><br />
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO READER, DIE-HEAD NYY/NYR FAN, AND JUST ALL AROUND DYNAMITE GUY, <a href="https://twitter.com/godzillatimmy2" target="_blank">TIMMY REILLY!</a> He is also consistently always one of the first people to wish me a happy birthday, and I know guys don't really care about birthdays, but wishing a chick a happy birthday is basically the equivalent of saving her from a teradactyl, probably. Have a good one, Timmy! Also: <br />
<br />
<em>Today in Yankee history (h/t </em><a href="http://takehimdowntown.com/yankee-history/august-21-in-yankee-history/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=august-21-in-yankee-history" target="_blank"><em>takehimdowntown):</em></a> Lou Gehrig and Babe Ruth went yard in the same inning 19 times during their Yankee careers, and 72 times in the same game. In an 11-7 Yankee win over George Blaeholder and the Browns on August 21, 1931, The Babe hit his 600th career home run, and Lou followed him, going back-to-back. <br />
<br />
<strong><u>Second item</u></strong><br />
You know how stifling my work schedule usually is, so when I get out early enough to watch the non-Encore showing of the game (aka the LIVE one), it's like when Charlie found that silver coin in the sewer that let him splurge on some Willy Wonka chocolate. Sure, there are more productive things I could use with the unexpected free time (like sleep), but no, I want the Wonka chocolate live Yankee game.<br />
<br />
On Monday, there was no game. And then it was like when Charlie opened up the chocolate bar but saw no golden ticket. <br />
<br />
Whatever, anyways, my point is that I figured I could either use that free time to do laundry or read as much baseballprospectus.com as I could until I fell asleep. <br />
<br />
I start reading the <a href="http://www.baseballprospectus.com/article.php?articleid=21554" target="_blank">Monday Ten Pack</a>, and you know I don't generally get into the farm players too much, but right before I almost ADHD-ed myself into a new article, I see that amidst the rest of the propsects listed in the piece, there's someone called Rookie Davis.<br />
<br />
That's his name! I mean, at first I though, "How come this guy gets this Berenstien Bear nomenclature? Pape Bear, Brother Bear, etc." Rookie Davis. Actually, it looks like my cell phone's nomenclature in the contact list, "Southern Sean," Softball Megan," "Ranger fan Mike" "Lauren from Dorrian's." <br />
<br />
So I keep reading and--woot woot!--he's a Yankee prospect, in Staten Island. I'm beyond excited about the implications of the game recaps when he gets called up. I'm picturing the Associated Press geting all frustrated with Microsoft Word, whenever they're wiring over their copy: "Dammit, Word. Stop autocorrecting 'Rookie Rookie Davis'!" <br />
<br />
Ok, that's not the only reason I'm excited. He's got a 94mph fastball, is averaging a strikeout per inning, and working off speed stuff, curve, breaking ball.. When can he start? I like this guy. A nice, 94mph hurling RHP with ox strength, at 6'4'' and 235 lbs. <br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/uoPPNpPa0mY" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
Cheers, Rookie Rookie Davis. Looking forward to seeing you whenever you're called to bring your heat to 161st Street!<br />
<br />
<strong><u>AND THIRD/FOURTH ITEMS:</u></strong><br />
Two come from behnd wins! In one day! And we weren't even playing the Twins. Quid haec amentia est???<br />
<br />
I'm not sure what possessed me to just throw in the Latin before I even got to the post-script, but I'm gonna go ahead and say it's symbolic of the fact that if the Yankees can subvert what they've been doing all season, I'll kindly follow suit.<br />
<br />
Both wins were spectacular. If I had to choose a favorite between the two (and I have no idea what the situation would ever be where I'd HAVE to choose one, but you know how I am about the concept of liking multiple things "equally"--it's impossible unless we're talking about siblings or parents. Just trying to do my part to abolish this practice)--well, I'd probably choose the 2nd game because it was a walk-off and that's exciting, but also because it was a "gritty" win. <br />
<br />
I'm using "gritty" to mean a hardfought win, and I'm not sure that adjective is appropriate, but I'm running with it since gritty is one of those adjectives that I feel like we use whenever we can't define what intense emotion we're experiencing. It already means a bunch of non-related things already, anyway, what's one more? <br />
<br />
(Will never come close to <a href="http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/set?s=t" target="_blank">this word</a>, though.)<br />
<br />
Anyways, before there was the gritty 2-3 win, there was the daygame delight that began as the daygame disaster (that's a turn of a phrase only a mother would get a kick out of, I think), when the Yanks fell behind 4-0 almost immediately.<br />
<br />
And this sucked particularly after all the hype around getting Super Nova on the mound, who's been playing like he's scared the Repo Man is going to come knocking on his door demanding he relinquish the "Super" part of his moniker for liquidation purposes.<br />
<br />
5 hits and no more runs for rest of inning, but like my buddy Russo once told me: "Until you put up 1 run, it doesn't matter how many they score against you. You can't win a game with a 0."<br />
<br />
Cano considers this theory right before he takes his at bat in the 3rd, decides it makes sense, and puts 3 runs on the board to cut the Jays' lead to 1. Oh, and it was his 200th ding btw. NBD. Cano never strikes me as the type to pay attention to that kind of thing. <br />
<br />
I know, I know. All ball players do. But I remember when he was a cocky rookie who acted like he was sort of doing everyone a favor by being there...<br />
<br />
Then it was like he went to one of those boot camps that Jerry Springer sends out of control teens, who come back to the show a year later wearing argyle cardigans and apologizing profusely for their past sins.<br />
<br />
Cano became Johnny Discipline. He's focused and quietly austere when it comes to performing. And when it comes to dugout rapport, well, has anyone ever seen a dugout shot of Cano when he's NOT laughing? Really happy he was able to move on post-Melky breakup. <br />
<br />
Ok so yeah, after it's a 4-3 game, NOW it matters how many the opposing offense scores. But to that end, they didn't do any more of it. The Yanks, on the other hand, did. <br />
<br />
So you got the Gamecast on at your desk at work, and you're annotating and writing manuscripts and whatnot, taking mini-breaks to watch more closely whenever the Yanks are in the MLB answer to the Red Zone. <br />
<br />
And, you know, you just don't really know if you computer froze or you're missing something or if whatever intern in charge of streaming the stats that power GameCast just messed up a little...because when you see a blue circle and an "(in play)" notation next to Chris Stewart that soon becomes a "Run(s) scored"...well, you sit up a little and cock your head and wait for the inevitable yelp from another corner of the office from someone else who is also watching the Gamecast.<br />
<br />
But that's me, anyway. <br />
<br />
Stewart hits a 3-run shot. Of course. The guy who made a point of going on record during pre-season basically saying, "Ok, I'm good on defense. But, like, just don't expect much offense-wise. Because, um, that's probably not gonna happen."<br />
<br />
After that, the game was cream cheese. (I'm sure it was a little harder than that--pause--but the emotionless Gamecast made it look easy, anyway.)<br />
<br />
I guess Girardi didn't think so, though, since he brought Joba in for basically the amount of time it takes Vanna White to flip a letter (or "touch" the letter anyway. Because one day someone bet her that there's no way her job could get any easier, and she took that bet and convinced them to change the letter-revealing technology. Probably that's what happened, anyway.)<br />
<br />
Joba walked one batter and Joe was like, "Ok, great, thanks for coming out! Don't call us, we'll call you. Mo! You're up."<br />
<br />
Ha, non-save situation. Bet Mo loves being woken up from his catnap to bail out Joba.<br />
<br />
Yanks end up winning 8-4, and then we all waited for the night game, where I think I can safely say that fatigue from an earlier game compounded with a Hughes start didn't really evoke wild confidence from the fans. Maybe Jays fans, actually.<br />
<br />
But Hughes pitched his little heart out, while managing not to let the little baseball out.(Of the park). Seriously. Not a one. They better replace his jumbotron stat with that one. Because last I saw, it was something like, "Phil Hughes has only allowed 4 stolen bases all year." Maybe they can change that to, "Phil Hughes did not drive 55,000 attending fans into apopletic rage in his last 1 start."<br />
<br />
P-Hu became P-WHO?? (Really logging in a lot of mom-esque humor in this post...)<br />
<br />
Cano began the scoring, just like in the day game, which was nice since the Yanks were in that "0-runs-vs-existing-run(s)" predicament. Then Cano drove in Romine to negate Rajai Davis' first inning score on a wild P-Hu pitch. <br />
<br />
1-1 game, exciting! (Kinda funny since the YES booth tonality was an interesting backdrop to the tension of the game. Man, I love Cone. And Kay. And I LOVE when Kay does his little insight-seeking-probes to former players, like, "Ooh, and that's ball 4. CC walks him to load the bases. David, you were a pitcher. Tell me, when you were pitching, did walking the bases loaded make you happy or sad?")<br />
<br />
In this game, while P-WHO?? is gutting out (FINALLY) a stellar start, in a tight-played game, Kay is opining how pitching is like Van Gogh or something like that. And Cone is disagreeing very adamantly. <br />
<br />
And then they swerve into a discussion about Paul O'Neil (I think his waist size came into play at one point). All the while, the Yanks are struggling against MARK BEUHELRWHATEVER [sic], of all people, who the Yanks typically view as a cartoon slab of steak, mouths watering.<br />
<br />
Davis sac flies the Jays into a 2-1 lead, and then, totally predictably (nope), Jayson Nix takes him deep. and 2-2 game! I think I almost saw him smile but I think it was just a bug on my tv screen.<br />
<br />
Mo gets pulled in again, and every time he takes the field, it's like you can't even really concentrate on the game going on, because all you're thinking about is the fact that we're not gonna see him play in another couple months. <br />
<br />
So when he does that thing he does where he shoots out like a handful of 91mph cutters to blank the opposition, it's kind of bittersweet because WHERE ARE WE GONNA FIND THAT MAGIC AGAIN? No where. Narnia, MAYBE. <br />
<br />
(That said, bullpen as a whole, all day, was stunning. Claiborne, Kelley, D-Rob, Blogan...not one run from the lot of them.)<br />
<br />
But as exciting as all this low-scoring game stuff was, I was in no mood for an extra innings game. Sometimes my mindset will be like "ok yes I want a win, but if it's gotta go into extras, so be it. I like stress etc." <br />
<br />
But these games aren't like May games, where you can afford the luxury of personal excitement. These games are economic Ws. Aint nobody got time for extras!<br />
<br />
Nix obviously felt the same way, and decided to drive in Sneach to win the game. Sneach, oh yeah, somehow ended up on 3rd. I swear he is not human. <br />
<br />
Where did he come from?? One minute Mark Reynolds is squeezing out a walk, the next second Sneach is just hanging out on 3rd base. He's like <a href="http://yourseosucks.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/link-defeats-ganon-the-legend-of-zelda.jpg" target="_blank">Ganon in the Zelda video game</a>, who was impossible to beat because he was mostly invisible. <br />
<br />
Even after Sneach crossed home, and the walkoff celebrations began, it sort of looked like Sneach was running off into oblivion. Probably tomorrow we'll see that he managed to not only get his 4,000th hit but also has managed to reach 9,120 sometime in the time before today's game.<br />
<br />
A real big set of wins for the boys. Cano went 4 for 4. Nix was a hero (hope he went out and picked up a girl or something!) A-Rod struck out a lot, though. Man, what's that guy done lately? I mean, aside from completely rejuvenate an anemic lineup over the course of a week.<br />
<br />
In other news, Girardi got fined because he got mad about Dempster throwing at A-Rod. MLB agreed A-Rod was thrown at. So they did the only fair thing which was fine Girardi $5,000, and suspend Ryan Dempster for 0 starts. Not sure if that's gonna deter anyone from going headhunting on every A-Rod at bat. <br />
<br />
So Ryan I suppose could have appealed this and continued playing, if he wanted to. Which is a right he alone, and no one else, should be privy to. To the supreme shock of approximately no one, he decided not to exercise that appeal choice and insteadn opted to graciously accept his <strike>suspension</strike> paid vacation. <br />
<br />
Eh, whatever. Do your worst, league. They're the Yankees. If you think a bunch of booing and journalistic crucifixion is going to subdue them, then you've never lived in New York. We're tougher than you think here. <br />
<br />
Be careful.<br />
<br />
Remember <a href="http://crazyyankeechick.blogspot.com/2009/07/wednesday-july-22-os-nyy-trampoline.html" target="_blank">my trampoline theory</a>, because for once it may be the Yankees on the other side of it:<br />
<blockquote>
<br />
I've always loved living on the top floor apartment because I don't have to hear anyone's footsteps above me. But then someone moved in to the unit directly below me 2 months ago, and I watched as the new tenant rolled a trampoline into 4A. When you're at the top, it never occurs to you to consider these possibilities. Until you hear the people below you banging their heads against your floor. You don't anticipate trouble from below you. You never know when the #1 spot is going to encounter the unexpected from the bottom.</blockquote>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Putant ex eo omnes figuratum. Illi autem cognoverunt non quid possumus facere.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-63277738479258144832013-08-19T03:39:00.001-04:002013-08-19T03:39:39.313-04:00The little guys fight back<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6nBXUd-WK_3n6f_Qq3d_worQhj493pdKfpod4j5iXBemQ1SZpy_V71DBchPsZTMC4oxVeh3oS_ce5TJdnMqXzLLYT_UhHGa2IxhGF5z0eSkw8L0GxdJuUJ6ugeOGZkJGUWIif19xhaNQ/s1600/arodfightsback.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="163" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj6nBXUd-WK_3n6f_Qq3d_worQhj493pdKfpod4j5iXBemQ1SZpy_V71DBchPsZTMC4oxVeh3oS_ce5TJdnMqXzLLYT_UhHGa2IxhGF5z0eSkw8L0GxdJuUJ6ugeOGZkJGUWIif19xhaNQ/s400/arodfightsback.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I don't know where to begin with this one. <br />
<br />
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<br />
One thing I do know is that in years of watching baseball, The 2nd Inning Incident is the most sickening, disgusting rejection of sportsmanship and integrity that I've ever seen. <br />
<br />
I get that drilling players is "part of the game" (allegedly), but that's not a acceptance I've ever really been on board with. But I get it, nonetheless. The thing is, is that it's not like hockey where it actually IS part of the game (allegedly). In baseball, it's more of a thing that's limited to onfield retaliation. <br />
<br />
You pull a Manny and take your sweet ass time at the plate after you take the opposing pitcher deep? Then you're plunk susceptible. You try to break up a double play by sliding with your spikes up into the SS? Susceptible.<br />
<br />
But as I understand the stupid "rule," it doesn't generally give pitchers carte blanche to wage war on people because of personal vendettas. <br />
<br />
(But, of course, if Dempster wants to play the "Eye for an eye" game, then the Yankees are more the eager, willing, and able to be dealt into the hand.) <br />
<br />
I'm not saying anything that everyone doesn't already know. Sigh. That Dempster 4 pitches to A-Rod were evil, classless, dangerous, uncalled for, gutless, and pathetic. <br />
<br />
I mean, it's a great message to send, really. Like to all those impressionable kids everyone's so worried that A-Rod's lies have irreparably destroyed? I'm glad they got to see such a lovely example of rosy sportsmanship. I swear, it's like some primitive social ecosystem that avenges moral sins with violent punishments. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccfGD9E0Q1h1z6a-nzECgOWZ-Qds-7xFeWh8DUdPVnQAbbhNKefbJl0Zjsmi_UL-PZirKf7gbfqJzXm4ySwmd40-lY0SF4HVepcDSoPYU9LkhyvhZYk7C2aOmhzGEQiDflevBYP91kLg/s1600/alooser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgccfGD9E0Q1h1z6a-nzECgOWZ-Qds-7xFeWh8DUdPVnQAbbhNKefbJl0Zjsmi_UL-PZirKf7gbfqJzXm4ySwmd40-lY0SF4HVepcDSoPYU9LkhyvhZYk7C2aOmhzGEQiDflevBYP91kLg/s320/alooser.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Should've put a "Draft/Unedited" watermark on it, if you<br />
weren't going to take the time to route it through editorial.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Fenway, of course, disagrees. They were super excited about it. Sometimes it like they have pseudobulbar affect, that symptom of ALS when you burst out crying or laughing at inappropriate times. <br />
<br />
I mean, they were cheering when A-Rod's fielder's choice drove in a run. They were happy when they put him on base with the HBP. <br />
<br />
And John Farrell? Apparently believes that Dempster was just aligning with a well-thought out strategic direction that involved "establishing inside fastballs." <br />
<br />
Dempster walked 1 batter all game. I'm not sure if that really helps an argument for control. That's the thing about Boston. <br />
<br />
A lot of times they act like those Occupy Wall Street protesters who are realllllly fired up about shit, but when asked to clarify the source of their anger, or--even better--confronted with logic that repels them back into their vat of hypocrisy..., then the OWS-ers don't know how to be anything but passionately principled.<br />
<br />
For example, our pal in the stands with the A-Looser sign. I'm so curious about a lot of things going on here, starting with how this guy managed to set down his blue and red markers, survey his work, and then think, "PERFECT! Yeahhhh this'll show him!" <br />
<br />
The other thing I'm very curious about is what the hell does "T.O," stand for here? Congrats, bro. You just earned a place alongside <a href="http://im1.shutterfly.com/media/47b6ce02b3127ccecf3a249e743200000010O08AbtGjdy5aNwe3nw0/cC/f%3D0/ls%3D00007499744720061022182156805.JPG/ps%3D50/r%3D0/rx%3D550/ry%3D400/" target="_blank">this guy</a>.<br />
<br />
Dempster was a dick, but the homeplate ump was even worse. Why would he think it'd be a fair game, with our best pitcher now nibbling at the plate, because 1 mistake from his end tosses him from the game. The bullet's out of his chamber, and he did nothing wrong to deserve that.<br />
<br />
Girardi argued like I've never seen him argue before. Like, to the point where he might get thrown into the People We Need Urine Samples From For Steroid Investigation Stuff. <br />
<br />
He was incensed big time. It was awesome to see that kind of non-manufactured ire, it's rare, really. Most of the time the whole fit-pitching thing is of the trying-to-light-a-fire-under-team's-ass persuasion.<br />
<br />
This was more like a trying-to-set-fire-to-Fenway type of anger. Good for him for getting A-Rod's back. It was probably more related to the fact it put his win chances at a significant disadvantage, though. <br />
<br />
(I thought MLB was all branding itself the Crusaders Against Unfair Advantages. I guess there are grey areas. And by grey areas, I'm referring to the Yankees away jerseys.)<br />
<br />
Dempster didn't get thrown out for reasons no one really has been able to articulate. HOWEVER, reasons HAVE been articulated about why Dempster did it. Wait for it. <br />
<br />
<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
A-Rod snubbed Dempster at a public event. Dempster was not impressed.<br />
— Wayne Scanlan (@HockeyScanner) <a href="https://twitter.com/HockeyScanner/statuses/369264670005133312">August 19, 2013</a></blockquote>
<script async="" charset="utf-8" src="//platform.twitter.com/widgets.js"></script><br />
HAHAHAHHAHHAAHHA. Seriously. I can only imagine what "snubbed" means. Did Dempster want an autograph? Did A-Rod take the last slice of pecan pie at the dessert buffet? Snubbed him HOW? <br />
<br />
Oh my God, say what you will about A-Rod, but he is like flypaper for every whiny insecure pitcher in the league.<br />
<br />
(cough...Dallas Braden...cough)<br />
<br />
A-Rod is basically the Regina George of MLB. Everyone hates her, but everyone wants his attention.<br />
<br />
Anyways, so then the Yankees rally because they're pissssssed. They come back to tie the game. And then A-Rod drives in a run to put the Yanks in the lead. <br />
<br />
(But since A-Rod was out at 1st, Fenway cheered. Because let's be honest, wouldn't you rather have A-Rod off first base, than Sneach off homeplate? C'mon. Everyone knows an A-Rod out trumps run prevention.)<br />
<br />
Unfortunately, amidst all the wild and crazy drama, there was our flubby Tubbo dumping around on the mound, looking extremely confused and uncomfortable. <br />
<br />
He's been pretty unremarkable all season, so I think the consensus among Yankee fans was that Fatso was probably trying very hard to bean a player, but couldn't find the control necessary to throw out of control. <br />
<br />
Irony!<br />
<br />
But, you know, even if he HAD managed to get a coveted HBP on the board, his velocity was so low that the only message he would be sending is "Don't you miss the simple joys of being able to jump into a McDonald's ball pit?"<br />
<br />
I realllly wanted to find a stat on how many times HBPs there have been in history between the Yanks and Socks. It's been added to my rotation of Things to Google in Downtime. I'll keep you posted.<br />
<br />
A-Rod was only one of 4 HBPs tonight, though. GGBG got drilled by Morales because he didn't share his Halloween candy with him 2 years ago, and De La Rosa nailed both Nix and Cano because they went to go see Elysium without inviting him. <br />
<br />
The Socks took a 6-3 lead, and things didn't look good. <br />
<br />
Until A-Rod led off in the 6th and took Dempster deep. He's closing in on 650 career homeruns, but I'd venture to say that the one he hit in this game was probably in his top 5 favorite of all time. Outside of the ones he hit in the 2009 playoffs, this definitely would be my choice.<br />
<br />
(A-Rod's got the highest BA on the team, by the by. Also, I just read this on ESPN: "The Yankees hitting has been much better since Alex Rodriguez returned to the lineup. They're hitting .303 in 13 games with A-Rod after hitting .240 without him. They're scoring about a run and a half more per game and hitting a homer much more often.")<br />
<br />
That was a clutch hit, because it closed the gap to 2, and fired up the team to go out and load the bases up for GGBG, who roped on into right for a bases-clearing triple. <br />
<br />
AND HERE COME THE YANKEES!<br />
<br />
7-6.<br />
<br />
Once Round Boy got yanked from the game, the NY pen gave up only 2 additional hits, and 0 runs. And to top it off, they managed to get around the whole plunk-and-you're-done stipulation, by taking revenge on the only guy who was just as guilty as Dempster: <br />
<br />
Home plate ump Brian O'Nora.<br />
<br />
I don't know. It's not like Boone Logan is a knuckleballer or anything. So I'm delightfully intrigued by Chris Stewart's egregious non-catch that cleared a path straight into the ump's face. <br />
<br />
There was something very creatively <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ec_2oKWe2Gw" target="_blank">Sean Avery</a> about it all. <br />
<br />
It was a good game to win. And it was a good game for the Yankees because they all rallied around A-Rod. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, maybe? But maybe it was more of a realization that the guy has been getting it pretty badly. That's your teammate there. <br />
<br />
It sort of reminded me of the end of "School Ties." After Brenden Fraser went from school hero to school outcast, he finds himself in the middle of a cheating scandal. He didn't do it, but everyone hates him for lying about being Jewish, and some REALLY hate him because he was so popular and good-looking and athletic.<br />
<br />
He's got no one on his side, it seems. Until he goes to confess to cheating, and he finds that one of his classmates has already told the dean the truth, effectively exhonerating Brendan Fraser.<br />
<br />
It was a good day for the Yankees. And a good day for Yankee fans. I was proud of A-Rod today, and I don't know how many Boston fans can say with any modicum of honesty that they were proud to be Red Socks fans today.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Oculum pro oculo pro longis pilam.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-11591288825157352442013-08-18T17:35:00.001-04:002013-08-18T17:48:49.079-04:00That was a boring game<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFjMY5dYiPu0_u9eLOc4htzWNPGoIpVIyiDHoGixjq7hBGmz4VBAGqkuFcg7YY2kqjiKrvLXdHwZq5P-cB93D1Zd8l7xOid_uoj6fZssFSlASXwtDXKQOHwydnrOlyS8rqj1KHryvplk/s1600/sockswin.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="208" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhTFjMY5dYiPu0_u9eLOc4htzWNPGoIpVIyiDHoGixjq7hBGmz4VBAGqkuFcg7YY2kqjiKrvLXdHwZq5P-cB93D1Zd8l7xOid_uoj6fZssFSlASXwtDXKQOHwydnrOlyS8rqj1KHryvplk/s400/sockswin.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loss.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
This was not very enjoyable to watch. <br />
<br />
If the score was reversed, I'd had liked it more. In the world of bright-side-looking, then I suppose this was a lot better than watching a typical Yankee loss to the Red Socks, which generally involves a 6 hour game that tests the limit of healthy cardiac function, and then ultimately ends in a walk-off against Mo or something, leaving us deflated, immobile, and ruined. <br />
<br />
This wasn't like that.<br />
<br />
Also, it sucks watching an ace like Kuroda have an off game, but it could have been worse. For some reason, I'd rather see Kuroda lose 6-1 than Phil Hughes do it. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I'm more forgiving of the former doing it, whereas watching the latter do it propels me into a frenzy of "TYPICAL. JUST...typical. Dammit, Phil."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://splicd.com/onTMLXd15zU/20/33" target="_blank">Disappointment is not always better than anger</a>. But in this case, it is, I think it is.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QijpwREKwus" target="_blank">This guy</a> would disagree on the disappointment vs anger debate front, though.<br />
<br />
Eh, you know what, the whole steroid thing actually worked in my favor last night (yet another reason for me to have no problem with steroids), since people would much rather talk about hgh and cheating etc, than a stupid baseball game, anyway. Phew. I think.<br />
<br />
Lackey surprisingly did not bean A-Rod. Not that I wanted him to, of course, but when I saw him walk him, I was like, Yep. That's Boston. Posturing. Talk. Loud. Above all else.
<br />
<br />
Anti-climax. <br />
<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/94tgIdwAwqk&start=104&end=110"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
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<br />
<br />
Anyways, the Yanks never showed up yesterday. Except for Overbay and A-So. There were 2 errors, of course, because SeeingEyeChart was in the game. Even though it wasn't technically SeeingEyeChart's fault, he just sort of engenders errors, I swear to God.
<br />
<br />
In A-Rod Performance News That Mercifully Doesn't Relate to Steroids, he threw up a donut (not literally, although I think my cat might have just done that.) He also made an out at 3rd that was very much an out, but he Carp was called safe.
<br />
<br />
I've noticed that lately umps have been copping to their mistakes a lot in the next day. Like coming out and saying, "yep I was wrong, I made the wrong call." I like this a lot, it's smart of them really, because it shows they recognize when they are wrong, which is better than an ump who thinks he was right when he was actually wrong, but not as good as an ump who just doesn't get it wrong in the first place.
<br />
<br />
I haven't really seen any Ump Mea Culpa today, though. Probably because the Yankee organization themselves were like, "Dude, we get it. It's A-Rod. Don't bother." I think the Yanks may be doing that thing that companies do sometimes when they don't want to hurt their employee turnover rate numbers, so instead of firing someone, they just try to make the person quit by virtue of a miserable quality of life.
<br />
<br />
Whatever, that game was lame dash O. <br />
<br />
But at least it wasn't a heartbreaker, I guess. As if it isn't hard enough to stomach a Fox-broadcasted game, it's even worse watching a nice Saturday afternoon baseball game that's about as entertaining and enjoyable as a baby shower.
<br />
<br />
On a final note, it bears mentioning that Lackey's 8-10 record belies how great the most reliable starter of the team is. That's not my assessment, that's the rest of the baseball viewing world. <br />
<br />
From espn:
<br />
<br />
<em>Lackey's won-loss record hardly shows how good he's been for the Red Sox this season. The team's most dependable starter, Lackey held down New York's resurgent offense and helped Boston break a three-game skid by beating the Yankees 6-1 on Saturday."I think in this case the record doesn't show how well he's pitched and how consistent he's been," manager John Farrell said.</em>
<br />
<br />
Numbers don't mean anything, I guess. I've been so misinformed. Communists.
<br />
<br />
In that case, congratulations to the Yankees for their 1-6 win yesterday!
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqyDXSl07DSSDm2jGe39G66lnBsRxX_E08iJFFXcw3R4pkWnE1bQGwdrYUcImNGJPCRanLVLLw7YV-BBUulL0CvitVlrqpwHjDTWnMbyQBlxylYejeKG-bFkLNr-H1UdNArICVA3KE_o/s1600/bostonsunshine2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="292" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJqyDXSl07DSSDm2jGe39G66lnBsRxX_E08iJFFXcw3R4pkWnE1bQGwdrYUcImNGJPCRanLVLLw7YV-BBUulL0CvitVlrqpwHjDTWnMbyQBlxylYejeKG-bFkLNr-H1UdNArICVA3KE_o/s320/bostonsunshine2.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Arrested Development and the future of Box Scores</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Baseball est solum locum ubi numere retineret res jocus et altus videtur.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-58132097536178572892013-08-17T14:56:00.001-04:002013-08-17T15:02:35.721-04:00YOU beat the Red Socks?<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9KrLQrs7RNFXECde6ghhaqskdJXVGIpynVBfymYe945ctEyXd50AKSToMluLRQ0rV2IHnSMEstTNkWjdmgA72XDYyN42PbaHqkzRgyeIBk9gQmLzbIfFXybWMp1juQ8-VFCxkZc8yiRY/s1600/asosogood.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9KrLQrs7RNFXECde6ghhaqskdJXVGIpynVBfymYe945ctEyXd50AKSToMluLRQ0rV2IHnSMEstTNkWjdmgA72XDYyN42PbaHqkzRgyeIBk9gQmLzbIfFXybWMp1juQ8-VFCxkZc8yiRY/s400/asosogood.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Win,</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
"YOU beat the Red Socks?"<br />
<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3CyFj0lMCso&start=8&end=12"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
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<br />
<br />
Seriously, as much as it pains me to admit this, I feel like every single time I looked at the score ticker/ box scores/ headlines/ sky/ inside of eyelids/ subway/ dishwasher/ etc...I was reading about another Red Sock victory. All season. They just don't lose. It's so f'n annoying.<br />
<br />
I stopped even checking the scores of their games because every time I thought, "Alright, they're bound to eff up once in a while," I'd discover this was not the case. For some reason, it was even more annoying that they weren't going on supernatural 49-game win streaks. That would make them a flash in the pan anomaly that was seconds away from cooling down completely.<br />
<br />
But no, just W after W after W....<br />
<br />
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iH0uGxYNgBQ&start=20&end=40"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
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<br />
Yeah, and then there would be the Yankees. It was like the Red Socks were playing with a Game Genie in them, while the Yankees kept having to take their cartridge out of the dusty NES system and blow on it in the hopes this would remedy the flashing reset button and grossly pixelated screen.<br />
<br />
Then last night they made it look easy. <br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFxxGlR6d6QHnVBWzPwyAkN20ZyfLBtL-GWU17JZek7mVymbCLUhIvVBAW3W7a2HKgyB4NgH3bIS8-c5lOrvArjIy3tc-kL-vGxWM9FEd6DYRvD0GCX4IM3Wxgy8HEq239PBWcZif3R6E/s1600/bballbaseball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFxxGlR6d6QHnVBWzPwyAkN20ZyfLBtL-GWU17JZek7mVymbCLUhIvVBAW3W7a2HKgyB4NgH3bIS8-c5lOrvArjIy3tc-kL-vGxWM9FEd6DYRvD0GCX4IM3Wxgy8HEq239PBWcZif3R6E/s320/bballbaseball.jpg" width="91" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My transcription.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
First, though, I want to bring up a comment made in the booth in the early part of game that made approximately zero sense to me. I rewound it about 7 times, assuming I must be missing something since Michael Kay didn't really seem too fazed by it. (But when does he ever, really?)<br />
<br />
"I wonder if it's kind of like baskerball when every time you touch the ball, it's hit to you. There are just certain players that the fans don't like."<br />
<br />
What? <br />
<br />
I felt like the channel 9 broadcast booth was trying to give me a taste of my own medicine or something. Like, "yeah, this is for every inane analogy YOU'VE ever made that have nothing to do with baseball and rarely make sense and leave people confused when they just wanted to know what the score of the game was. How's it feel? I SAID, how's that feel? ANSWER ME."<br />
<br />
Feels weird.<br />
<br />
Anyways. So that was that. Shortly thereafter, and continually thereafter, the Yankees proceeded to "pile it on," run-wise, and otherwise:<br />
<br />
A-So hit another 283 ribbies, but the Red Socks, being the Red Socks, plunked him when A-So stood to set MLB history. I really want to think that this was an accident, and that despite what I say about Boston, they're not THAT petty and obnoxious that they'd stand in the way of history just because they're all pissy the lowly Yankees are showing signs of life when this was supposed to be THEIR show at Fenway. <br />
<br />
I mean, who the hell does A-So think he is? You're a guest in someone's house, and you have the audacity to play like Roy Hobbs, collecting ribbies like they're <a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=pogs&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-Address&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ei=ILkPUtjzMqLcyQHUuIAw&ved=0CAkQ_AUoAQ&biw=1366&bih=665#facrc=_&imgdii=_&imgrc=MReRLyjXtY48YM%3A%3B_H0Lpewd5Mn-DM%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fhellogiggles.com%252Fwp-content%252Fuploads%252F2012%252F08%252F20%252Fpogs.jpg%3Bhttp%253A%252F%252Fhellogiggles.com%252Fskip-it-skip-it-the-best-90s-toys-ever%3B600%3B450" target="_blank">pogs</a>? Show some respect, man.<br />
<br />
Btw, Ken Singleton's reaction to A-So's ding that A-So slllowwwly watched sail out as soon as it left his bat: a very quiet "This is unbelievable." I loved it. It wasn't your typical crazy "AND I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, HE DID IT AGAIN, THIS IS JUST INCREDIBLE, FOLKS!" <br />
<br />
It was more of this, talking to himself kind of thing. Reminded me of this one year on Easter morning a few years ago when my mom says to no one in particular, really just mumbling to herself in this bizarro mixture of intrigue and vague confusion, "Very unusual candy from the Easter bunny..." <br />
<br />
That's how Ken Singleton sounded last night. Maybe my mom was coming to a scary realization that the Easter bunny was real or something, and maybe Ken was coming to a scary realization that baseball transcends regular life in ways around which we will never be able to fully wrap our heads.)<br />
<br />
I really don't want to think Boston is so miserable that they'd plunk someone just because they are mad he's good. Because that would make Boston insecure. You're not insecure, right, Boston? You're confident about how much the "yankees suck," yeah?<br />
<br />
Cano makes a catch in the outfield that originally looked like it was a play that would typically be the type of stuff of which Citifield montages are made. 23 outfielders all converging in on a lazy can of corn, and the irony is that even though it's this light, airy bloop, it incites so much freaking tension when you have to watch the overhead angle of all your fielders running towards it. <br />
<br />
You sit there for those looooong seconds, hoping an out is made, but more hoping that you don't have to watch them collide. You think, "they're gonna run into each other! They don't see each other! Someone call the ball! Why are they all running towards it, WHY HASN'T SOMEONE CALLED IT! Please don't get hurt. Please don't embarrass yourselves at Fenway. Please. Make the out. Don't die. Help. PLEASE SOMEONE HELP!"<br />
<br />
Then Cano just casually makes an overtheshoulder bucket catch, when I don't even know how the hell he ended up out there, but NBD. Whatev. Just your run of the mill catch that looked EXACTLY like "The Catch" from a different #24. That catch was super famous. Cano's catch was Cano being all, "what, my job is to make outs. Don't make a big deal out of me just doing my job, yo."<br />
<br />
A-Rod tried to do his job, as well. Which no one likes to make easy for him. Because everyone hates him. You can tell because everyone boos when he bats. Or, you know, converts oxygen to carbon dioxide. I think the world is being so over-the-top because it's all about publicly establishing yourself firmly in opposition to what A-Rod represents. Or rather, what A-Rod is positioned as representing.<br />
<br />
Booing A-Rod is everyone's way of letting all those around them know that, "I am against cheating. I am appalled that he is making so much money. I am a good person because I am passionate about my contempt for bad people. Like A-Rod."<br />
<br />
A-Rod, by the by, went 2 for 4, and is now batting .300. Which means that we can all shift into "Well, of course he's batting .300. Who wouldn't be batting .300 when they're cheating?" When he dips back below the Mendoza line, then Verizon Wireless will send out a text alert announcing it's time for us to revert to "God, he sucks. He's overpaid and a terrible ballplayer" mode.<br />
<br />
Everyone hit last night except for Wells and Grandy. No matter.<br />
<br />
There was a lot going on in this game. And when I say "a lot," I am really being quite literal. Quantity. There was a lot of everything. Most things, anyway. The Red Socks did not have a lot of runs. But I gotta say, for the last 45 minutes of the game, it didn't seem like that was going to be the outcome.<br />
<br />
I mean, it was one of those games that just REEKED of rally potential. Of momentum. Of a burgeoning "run manufacturing" (as the kids say) effort that sets the stadium crowd in fire. All the Fenway Faithfuls who are faithfully yelling when the Red Socks are pretty much assuring them of a big comeback, but who are faithfully mute when their team is getting blanked by the little guys. By the Wildcard-chasing Yankees.<br />
<br />
And yet, they didn't score more than 3 runs. It was so weird. Like the inverse of the Loaves and the Fishes or something. When Jesus manages to feed the whole town with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish(es). Except last night it was the opposite. <br />
<br />
The Red Socks had a warehouse full of bread and fish, and an entire town was crowding around pretty confident they'd each get to partake in the distribution of the food. And the Socks have to put a sign up on the door after only 3 people have gotten their share, like, "Sorry. Sold out. Sorry for the inconvenience."<br />
<br />
The pitching was good, Pettitte is still brilliant, even at 72 years of age. It was especially cool to see the Yanks tee off on Doubront, who I think is pretty damn good. One of the best on the team. And speaking of pitchers, I can't believe our relievers got out of THAT. MANY. JAMS. How? I guess everyone's got a little D-Rob in them, sometimes. (Pause.)<br />
<br />
On that note, Ima sign off and get ready for Game 2. Kuroda v Lackey. Lackey has in so many words assured us that he will, in fact, drill A-Rod in the head with a ball, if not a bullet, if not a pressurized <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8xyvOCNCXdU" target="_blank">fatal shot from a captive blow pistol</a>. He's still making up his mind.<br />
<br />
In unrelated news, I fractured my elbow 2 nights ago trying to break a lobster in half with my bear hands. The moral of the story is that no matter how strong you think you are, sometimes an inert, nonthreatening shell can kick your ass.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Interdum vos manducare locusta. Interdum frangit cubito vestris. Frange eos rursus, Yankees.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-11516858581909974012013-08-15T11:22:00.000-04:002013-08-15T11:22:03.979-04:00Hurting the Angels again <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr38ev4yWFDd3kptPbiv0fKbBv7Y-BKNCrajq1o9HoqXDwsyRk4WqBG_rwa6xNb8S7R_FnOP_HqiVY_sKBhpmxcF9KatHvCe0FBlU9eWx3rBcEwoInrRXshqljQmzLTnQL4C5SVmXJUS4/s1600/nyyslamangelsagain.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="206" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhr38ev4yWFDd3kptPbiv0fKbBv7Y-BKNCrajq1o9HoqXDwsyRk4WqBG_rwa6xNb8S7R_FnOP_HqiVY_sKBhpmxcF9KatHvCe0FBlU9eWx3rBcEwoInrRXshqljQmzLTnQL4C5SVmXJUS4/s400/nyyslamangelsagain.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
My coworker invited me to the game, but duty called, and I listened to the first half of the game on MLB audio, quarantined in a fishbowl conference room with purple pens sticking out of my hair and loose sheets of prescribing information holding court on the table. <br />
<br />
I took a break after the top of the 1st, and by the time I got back from getting an iced triple caramel latte, the score was 4-0. Ok, not to be one of those people whose mind never swings into the "cheerful surprise" realm...but my first thought was that the time in the office had finally done what I had always been afraid it would do, which is completely nullify basic time continuums. <br />
<br />
(I don't remember the last time I came into work and then blurted out mid-meeting, "Wait, what day are we on?")<br />
<br />
It never really occurred to me that the Yankees had made a P-Hu out of Weaver. It never occurred to me that the Yankees managed to score 4 runs in 4 minutes, after 4 months of struggling to put up even 1 run on the board.<br />
<br />
Me of little faith? Sweet Christ, what is going on.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFQhdo9SeHOGqIxfhmF-RF72Wm9phKTqK6fwL95Cg9tMUhjPny7nJYMX7Jku0A_zfA-l1laKjmT9zfABVFIJbnpqfmAQG23hPDLsF7ZIm9nhf8ZYRL1aCQRqyJ8BoTTYfe7-Z2J23ODsI/s1600/gglvp.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFQhdo9SeHOGqIxfhmF-RF72Wm9phKTqK6fwL95Cg9tMUhjPny7nJYMX7Jku0A_zfA-l1laKjmT9zfABVFIJbnpqfmAQG23hPDLsF7ZIm9nhf8ZYRL1aCQRqyJ8BoTTYfe7-Z2J23ODsI/s400/gglvp.png" width="233" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Thank anyway, Glen. For the ticket<br />
offer. Not for turning down the recapping<br />
request, in my hour of copywriting need.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
After that, I stopped listening to the game on the radio and went old school route of avoiding facebook/social media/internet/text messages/outside world, so I could delight in the YES Encore presentation of the game.<br />
<br />
Which I did. And indeed, it was delightful. <br />
<br />
A-So had a pretty good game. A salami. Roughly 48,000 ribbies. A-Rod knocked in a double (even more notable was the fact that in post-game coverage I didn't read word one about him. It was nice.)<br />
<br />
Nova was stellar. Weaver was confused about how much the Yanks knocked the shit outta him. The Yanks were 5 FOR FREAKING 8 WITH RISP!!! Unbelievable. Even when they're firing on all cylinders, teh most I usually hope for outta them is like 3 for 9 or something. The hell has gotten into them? I'm into it. Woot woot.<br />
<br />
This was just an all around stellar performance by our boys in a time when it's inordinately needed. Grandy was 2 for 3, Cano 4 for 4, Steward 2 for 4, A-So 20 for 20, etc etc. The lineup was perfectly arranged, when you think about it. Hits from all parts of the order in the most apropos time. <br />
<br />
And the best part? The Socks lost to the Blue Jays. Yanks are 5 games outta the WC, and this weekend's series is gonna be a Stockpiling-of-Pepto type of weekend. Oh yeah, there's the whole P-Hu game today we gotta tend to, but I'll be down at Novartis during the game. So I'm hoping when I turn my phone on post-client-meeting that it doesn't explode with shit like "DAMMIT HUGHES" and the like.<br />
<br />
Cheers, boys. Keep going. Oh, and just for fun, here's a <a href="http://blogs.villagevoice.com/runninscared/2009/10/crazy_yankee_ch_28.php" target="_blank">piece/song I wrote on the Angels in the 2009 ALCS.</a><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Si vos es iens per infernum, custodi eundo.</span></em></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-76987554354481639802013-08-14T02:29:00.000-04:002013-08-14T02:29:33.785-04:00Oh, hello, offense! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZzwFwDlWfo4SCROy6R8rDBQyXNoMtskl33r49-STZ8iT8ZdDZ4e5ceX5SS9LaOmlRgc7f68mzKscNI0Ud_-QrNoDMWy1tzicNvDVDAmfqM3B0nHRLgyq3rrKp41coOUky6Sli47hqnoQ/s1600/bigwinlotofhits.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZzwFwDlWfo4SCROy6R8rDBQyXNoMtskl33r49-STZ8iT8ZdDZ4e5ceX5SS9LaOmlRgc7f68mzKscNI0Ud_-QrNoDMWy1tzicNvDVDAmfqM3B0nHRLgyq3rrKp41coOUky6Sli47hqnoQ/s400/bigwinlotofhits.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
When I got home from work, I turned on the game and the bases were loaded, Tubbo was mopping his brow and the Yanks were up 4-3. <br />
<br />
Tubbo has been mopping his brow a lot this year. I mean, I'm gonna give him a little latitude (fatitude hehe) because it's been like 234 degrees out all summer, but then again, I seem to remember all these comments being made about Fausto Carmona et al when they were pitching against us in the infamous Midge Game and all the announcers being like, "Well, CC probably would be fine if he was pitching in this kind of situation because he's used to it."<br />
<br />
I don't know where they get their information from sometimes. It's like I'm imagining the Elias Sports Bureau interns sitting there frantically trying to shove post-it notes with legit stats on them in front of the booth, and then Paul O'Neill is just like waving them off like, "<em>Shh..I got this one, bro."</em><br />
<br />
Then there was a controversy and it was the scorekeeper's turn to have a shit-what-do-I-do-here-please-let-this-not-get-back-to-my-boss moment. Chris Nelson left the bag earlier on a liner to left, and Fatso mercifully got out of the inning. Except it didn't look that way at first.<br />
<br />
4-4. 2 outs.<br />
<br />
4-3. 3 outs.<br />
<br />
Wait. Here comes Sciosa. <br />
<br />
Bahhh. 4-4. 4-3. Things were confusing. I swear, Mike Sciosa is like constantly on this hell-bent campaign to ensure that his epitaph reads "I SENT 'EM RUNNING." I can't count how many times his whole flying-around-the-basepath-with-wild-abandon tactic has been a source of a "live-and-die-by-the-sword" type of commentary.<br />
<br />
He wasn't happy. I was relieved. Inning ends with the Yanks still on top, RoundBoy still sweating.<br />
<br />
Then it's the bottom of the inning, and I heard Michael Kay say something I don't think I've heard all season. Honestly, I got goosebumps.<br />
<br />
"AND THE YANKEES ARE JUST PILING IT ON!"<br />
<br />
He said this in reference to runs being scored. I just realized that there's a good chance this phrase was uttered at another point in the season, but "it" being something like "errors" or something.<br />
<br />
Not that there was any shortage of errors here. The Yankees had a season-high 19 hits on the day, but with a season-low (jk) of 3 errors, but I think we've all just come to kind of accept this type of heavyset last column in the box score as a zeitgeist of the <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32RFDNV0-Y5mIEJ4wNQ9MuFpOh9i5v3UH1wWgH1idM7WgVsAwoYZLYXmcSsFZQ4TJYz4LMGxJ1YIhuYZiF7bhyphenhyphenZOia1-3oTvg61KsH9Jj8SqCpqhbHtZUDTOoW9nJloTGuUjmdQRWAws/s1600/nunez+locker.png" target="_blank">Eduardo Nunez Era</a>, really.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-right: 1em; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYQvn6ZMdhPRomzBpQAVkY8L9-U176-Mtf2cxM7bgCjjiH55dPVI7j2isi8dFq2TduXxGIQxx9fMoWxlhs73c0IesLY_pEfAKu-pKU1akDp3e3W6AO0cB9VwRX-_oP0qJ0BMJBsvhdht4/s1600/nunez.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgYQvn6ZMdhPRomzBpQAVkY8L9-U176-Mtf2cxM7bgCjjiH55dPVI7j2isi8dFq2TduXxGIQxx9fMoWxlhs73c0IesLY_pEfAKu-pKU1akDp3e3W6AO0cB9VwRX-_oP0qJ0BMJBsvhdht4/s200/nunez.gif" width="160" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Get it?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Jayson Nix, although I love the guy, didn't have his bestest game today. Caught stealing, an error, and picked off. <br />
<br />
See, that's the type of game Nunez used to consistently give up, but then I think Nunez basically told Girardi, "Listen. You'd be better served trying to develop my offensive game good enough to the point where it will compensate for my errors. Because the errors are gonna happen. That's just how it is. I ain't changing for no one. You know why? <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w536Alnon24" target="_blank">Because..."</a><br />
<br />
To that end, SeeingEyeChart ended up doing pretty well for himself on the day. 2 for 6, 2 runs, 4 ribbies (2 of which were 2-out ribbies).Oh and 2 E's. But see how little the E's matter when you play an offensive game like that?<br />
<br />
Similarly, I was beside myself to see A-Rod drill one into left field in the bottom of the 6th to bring 2 runs in. I mean, the guy is such an asshole though because if he had any semblance of a soul he'd have waited til it was the bottom of the 12 when the Yanks were down by 6 with no one on, and he'd hit a 7-run homerun to win the game. <br />
<br />
If A-Rod ever hopes to waddle his way back into the public's favor, this is the type of STEPPING UP TO THE PLATE that needs to happen. Not this 2-run double in the 6th mumbo jumbo. C'MON, GUY. WORK WITH ME, HERE.<br />
<br />
Everyone on the Yanks got a hit today. Some more than others, ie A-So, who tacked on more dings to his burgeoning case of "Aren't you glad I'm back?" 3 for 6, with 6 ribbies. I love how cynics/haters don't really know what to make of this guy. <br />
<br />
He's 37, but you can't really get start bitching about the Yankees refusal to cultivate young players since technically he IS one of their cultivated young players. Or he was at one point. He's kind of like the rom-com stock character, boy next door that girl falls in love with when she's 10 and then years later they reunite. <br />
<br />
In other "old man, new tricks" news, Lyle OverTheHillBay goes 3 for 4. Wells goes deep against his former team, which was good because if he had done anything less, I'd have been all up in arms about GGBG not batting clean-up. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN? I refuse to believe that the season will pass without seeing our plucky secret weapon in the 4 spot. You KNOW that Joe Maddon would be all. over. this. <br />
<br />
I mean, I bet he feels the same way an intern feels at a tactical brainstorm session at work, and he/she has an idea but never speaks up because there's nothing more demeaning than throwing out an idea during a brainstorm and then the Person In Charge of Writing Things Down On the Giant Post-It Pad doesn't even deign to write your idea down. <br />
<br />
But THEN someone else speaks up with that idea, and it's met with showers of oohs and ahhs. And then the intern's like, "I THOUGHT OF THAT! I DID!" Yeah, so that's Maddon right now. Maybe. Either that, or he's ironing out negotiations with this thing, for his next team-building meeting of minds.<br />
<br />
Not that I want this to degenerate into a Joe Maddon riff, but the next time anyone says he's brilliant, I'd like to point that person to this comment that he made about his rental penguins: <br />
<br />
<em>"Shelly was cool, but Cliff was a very gregarious penguin. I found out they like to go to the bathroom every 15 minutes. Cliff actually demonstrated his allegiance for the Rays by going right on top of our logo on the carpeting."</em><br />
<br />
Oh, Maddon and your progressive views on <a href="http://splicd.com/B05BrLhYoU8/36/62" target="_blank">symbolic gestures of loyalty</a>!<br />
<br />
Anyways, so yeah, GGBG in 4-spot. That.<br />
<br />
Joba managed to not blow the game, Dellin Betances (who sounds like either some kind of Latin declension or an acrylic paint tube brand) gave up about 98 hits/runs over the course of the 12 seconds he was in the game. He didn't really get the same lavish praise that Shawn Kelley did. <br />
<br />
Kelley did well, but the way Kay talked about him, you'd have thought the Yankees had managed to swindle King Felix away from Seattle. Whatever, I'm not complaining. <br />
<br />
I will say that it seems as though the Yankees as a whole are throwing an awfully high number of pitches out per game. This either comes from the fact 70% of Lard's starts are devoted to shots of him wringing his stomach of sweat...or it comes from the fact that Phil Hughes is inflating the worldwide pitch per capita. (I was at Saturday's game, he managed to toss 100 pitches in 4 innings. It's not Pop-A-Shot, Phil. Sweet Christ)<br />
<br />
Anyways, so here we are. The Yankees are 9.5 games back. Nova takes on Weaver on Wednesday. Highes [sic] takes on Wilson Thursday. (To be clear, that's a 4-11 record up against a 12-6 record. Which means P-Hu is due.)<br />
<br />
After that? The Yanks take on the Red Socks in Boston. 9.5 games back. If years of YES broadcasts have taught me anything. it's this:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><em><span style="font-size: large;">Yankees habent foedus prorsus ubi volunt eis.</span></em></strong></div>
Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-71611090463541731212013-08-13T18:56:00.000-04:002013-08-13T18:56:38.755-04:00Exercises in basic MLB tautologiesYeah I know, I’ve been completely MIA. Unfortunately, I’ve been running out of hours in the day for the past 2 months. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw_o6op2M_s" target="_blank">But I know I’m going to bludgeon myself to death when I realize I’ve once again let my gainful employment keep me from watching baseball all summer.</a> <br />
<br />
So apparently there are a few things going on, most notably that the Yankees are playing like they’ve resigned themselves to just playing for a first pick in the draft next year. The other thing going on is that A-Rod has become the face of all things evil in the world of our Great American Pasttime.
<br />
<br />
Ima go backwards in terms of addressing both of these things. Tomorrow I’ll get to the Yankees, but first, here we go again…
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">THE DEMONIZATION OF THE NEW YORK YANKEE ALEXANDER RODRIGUEZ</span></strong>
</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSdhI99bd_sjuIuHPHJ7-2yFk031RkeP7FAaVxOVs__KlggzcfqbPKU8UwPkv8R49XYQ49CkqUfvf97mbmxJSdhtb6zDEuhGdcZU1cKt7pCnmAepIriHg9lN-xL8lY8G5GsPJurepoHzc/s1600/oxymoron_big_minority_mousepads-rd8acce402a24012f60ca00ffb0cb9003_x74vi_8byvr_324.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSdhI99bd_sjuIuHPHJ7-2yFk031RkeP7FAaVxOVs__KlggzcfqbPKU8UwPkv8R49XYQ49CkqUfvf97mbmxJSdhtb6zDEuhGdcZU1cKt7pCnmAepIriHg9lN-xL8lY8G5GsPJurepoHzc/s200/oxymoron_big_minority_mousepads-rd8acce402a24012f60ca00ffb0cb9003_x74vi_8byvr_324.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Maybe I'm just a moron, in addition to <br />
being one of the "oxy-" persuasion.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I know I’m a minority here—like, a big one—but as I see it, everyone’s attacking the guy that it’s safe to attack. Some people are hard to defend. <br />
<br />
But for my money, it’s even harder to defend social hypocrisy.
<br />
<br />
I’m not saying I condone steroid use, or lying, and particularly not lying about using steroids. <br />
<br />
But I do have a categorical aversion to inconsistent condemnation of behavior based on predisposed antagonism.
<br />
<br />
The chief problem with spearheading the Crusade Against Haters is that my “client” is guilty. A-Rod did indeed admit to using steroids at one point, so to speak. <br />
<br />
(Perhaps the most beautifully candid line in this whole sordid ordeal is Cashman's hilarious, "I don't think that Alex is very good at communicating, to be honest." In the docket of historic understatements, file that one alongside the penetrating questioning from the reporter at the 1956 World Series, "Mr. Larsen, was that the best game you ever pitched?")
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">
OH, SO NOW WE HATE STEROIDS?</span></strong>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
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<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
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<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<em>“If everyone is guilty, then no one is guilty.” -Nietzche</em>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Let’s call a spade a spade here. The whole freaking league is on steroids. And everyone is all up in arms, ready to burn A-Rod at the stake for his alleged use of it.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But in 1994, when these same fans were ready to abandon the game, who were jaded by the rampant greed tainting our beloved baseball…these same fans rejoiced in a reinvigorated passion for the game when Sosa and McGwire went head-to-head all season in the great homerun derby.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The same public that's gasping in horror and indignant with disappointment, the same public that's weeping with no tears over the apparent demise of the game...is the same society that celebrated baseball's resurrection in the late 90's.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's the same fanbase that indulged in the excitement and basked in the glare when the sport rose up like a phoenix at the hands of McGwire and Sosa.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
The same moralists who ignored what we all knew in our heart of hearts what was behind the great HR race in 1998.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Steroids, for all intents and purposes, didn't just fortify the juicers' stats. It fortified our emotional investment in the sport. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Does that make its criminal implications justifiable? No. But it makes it unassailably pharisaical for us to sharply condemn the same behavior now.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It's like that scene in Encino Man, when Sean Astin tries to get rid of the caveman, and Pauly Shore launches into the high point of his career. By keeping it real:
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<blockquote>
"You're the one who weazed off his gig the whole time...cuz you thought maybe he'd get you somewhere. Now the guy gets a little crusty and you're gonna bag him."</blockquote>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Steroids brought baseball back to life when everyone was ready to give up on it. And it’s hard for me to believe that no one knew what was behind this inhuman surge in offense and production.
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
But you claim ignorance of the steroid use back then, then how can all of a sudden you be so educated and perceptive to be able to identify steroid use NOW when there is no superficial evidence of it?
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">SHORT-TERM MEMORY, LONG-TERM STATS</span></strong>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/UrllvcIfldM" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
When the Yankees hadn’t won a ring in a decade, and when we were being harassed non-stop about this fact, A-Rod gave you a ring. A-Rod won the 2009 series for the Yankees. <br />
<br />
At least A-Rod can comfort in knowing that Yankee fans have also bestowed the same kind of alienation treatment onto Mickey Mantle, Roger Maris, Reggie Jackson, Dave Winfield, etc. Yeah, Yankee fans BOOED these guys. <br />
<br />
A-Rod came back into the lineup to replace the 3B who was treating our team to a bright .143 batting average. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=617399284911&l=4be55a7f84" target="_blank">I know my math is less than stellar</a>, but I’m pretty sure I’m okay with seeing how well life-time all-star fielding magician A-Rod can do at 3B. <br />
<br />
There’s a pretty good chance he’s going to help the team. Because, well, he has.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCQPjUXPet13FAPQnAGZhGUyVciNvoPBf_Kqtk2iv6mmzsiW2UXDjBhPdPA4lIbm4h3X51RTGldbMr4Jmg384DpyWjr63ktj1cNyxIFfPdp8YrajwiBTXnfobakrlTnEDazpKC4A9P5c/s1600/schmevidence.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="179" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEguCQPjUXPet13FAPQnAGZhGUyVciNvoPBf_Kqtk2iv6mmzsiW2UXDjBhPdPA4lIbm4h3X51RTGldbMr4Jmg384DpyWjr63ktj1cNyxIFfPdp8YrajwiBTXnfobakrlTnEDazpKC4A9P5c/s320/schmevidence.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Evidence, schmevidence.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And, not for nothing, but it seems like the entire baseball viewing world has decided throw the significance of proof into a giant vat of hydrochloric acid.<br />
<br />
<br />
If you’re going to say A-Rod has always been awful in the clutch, then you may as well subscribe to things like Bleen, and other fungible worlds of math inanity.
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/tuhPPOXnyKo&start=96&end=106"></param>
<param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param>
<embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/tuhPPOXnyKo&start=96&end=106" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object> </div>
</div>
Alright, so when A-Rod was actually pretty f’n good in the clutch, the whole world denounced him for being useless in the clutch. <br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPlIQTEwJeuNcrLFhLwznvxHg_Pf3v3yt3QoG78_gxFuzGYMrNGIccND6-ijD8Pgr6-rsEWKMl0P9W2u6fQNZ0xsoXhQ3nFcBqr0SN851UcKKKPHHVUgO07H5ZCisaGy2qWw281X1BgQ/s1600/arodsclutch.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="202" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxPlIQTEwJeuNcrLFhLwznvxHg_Pf3v3yt3QoG78_gxFuzGYMrNGIccND6-ijD8Pgr6-rsEWKMl0P9W2u6fQNZ0xsoXhQ3nFcBqr0SN851UcKKKPHHVUgO07H5ZCisaGy2qWw281X1BgQ/s320/arodsclutch.png" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Not bad.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
In 2012, when the entire Yankee team batted a breath-taking .147 in the ALCS, A-Rod’s .111 average was the one that was most severely lambasted.
<br />
<br />
Why should we boo A-Rod? He’s one of the greatest that ever played. This is true. <br />
<br />
If you want to say it’s only because he used steroids, then you must be prepared to strip EVERY single player of their merit who has ever been suspected of steroid use. <br />
<br />
You must be prepared to strip Gaylord Perry of his stats because he threw a spitball. Or Bobby Thompson because the Giants were stealing signs. Or Whitey Ford. I don't think any of them deserve to be stripped of what they did for baseball. Neither should A-Rod. Especially because...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">ON A CLINICAL NOTE….</span></strong>
</div>
<br />
Steroids can be pretty helpful when used safely and properly. I mean, it basically puts you back in the game faster after an injury. You’re not wasting time puttering away on the sideline trying to get your game back to snuff. <br />
<br />
THAT SAID, I’m going to play the medical copywriting card here. I’ve done a fair amount of reading and research on diseases such as acromegaly that are based on overproduction of growth hormone and IgF-1.
<br />
<br />
And without getting too much into the clinical data etc, I will say that based on what is known about these types of diseases, it does not support the fact that an increase in both GH and IgF-1 (which is the core output of steroid abuse) promotes any kind of performance enhancement.<br />
<br />
Basically, there are rare diseases in which “steroid abuse” occurs naturally. So you’d think that in these patients, there would be evidence of muscle hypertrophy, but there’s actually a notable LACK of physiological/performance changes.
<br />
<br />
In one clinical review article of published literature on manifestations of GH impact, the results showed that “although growth hormone may alter body composition, it has minimal effect on key athletic performance outcomes and may, in fact, be associated with worsened exercise capacity.” [Liu H et al. <em>Ann Intern Med.</em> 2008;148:747-758.]<br />
<br />
This is consistent with the Mitchell report, which actually noted the lack of evidence supporting growth hormone use and enhancement of athletic performance. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">ON A MATHEMATICAL NOTE…p ⊕ q</span></strong></div>
<br />
<em>(Either "p" or "q" but not both)</em>
<br />
<br />
Here’s the thing about steroids. And, well, everything, actually. It’s extremely difficult to make claims about the relationship between A and B, if everything is not known about the prevalence of A.
<br />
<br />
For example, you can’t say, “Eating carrots help your eyesight” if you do a study of 5 people who eat carrots who have good eyesight. If you do a study of 10 people, 5 of which eat carrots, 5 of which don’t, and the only people with good eyesight are the ones who eat carrots, then you can make that case.
<br />
<br />
But we don’t know that A-Rod ate carrots. Or say that we do. Say we absolutely know he did steroids for his entire career. We’re mad because he had an unfair advantage, and all his years of greatness made it impossible for the non-steroid-users to succeed.
<br />
<br />
But is that what happened? <br />
<br />
<strong>If steroids gave A-Rod such a huge unfair advantage, then where do we get off spitting vitriol at his years of barely creeping pasting the Mendoza line when he should’ve been banging it out all over the place?
</strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>You can’t hiss at A-Rod for being a shitty ballplayer for bouts of time in his career and then in the same breath hiss at him for taking steroids for that entire time. Because that would suggest that steroids did not, in fact, give him an unfair advantage. </strong><br />
<strong></strong><br />
<strong>And if he didn’t have an unfair advantage, then why are you mad at him for doing steroids?</strong><br />
<br />
It’s almost identical as the arguments made by Yankee haters around the whole “they buy their team” nonsense. And then when the Yankees deflate in the first round of the playoffs, everyone starts pointing at them screaming “THEY PAID BAJILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR A RING AND THEY COULDN’T EVEN GET PAST THE FIRST ROUND OF THE PLAYOFFS!!!!”
<br />
<br />
Wouldn’t that suggest that spending money on your team doesn’t actually have the “championship guarantee” that everyone seems to think it has? If there are teams failing and succeeding across the entire financial gamut, then there how is there a proven statistical significance to the impact of payroll on success?
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">SILENCE IS GOLDEN UNLESS IT’S A-ROD’S</span></strong>
</div>
<br />
A-Rod cannot do anything right, because apparently his handling of steroid accusations are the WORST possible way to go about it. As long as you don’t do what A-Rod’s doing, you’re granted immunity of social stigmatization.<br />
<br />
Ryan Braun “apologized” without ever apologizing, much like a boyfriend caught cheating who admits he cheated. A-Rod no-comment-ed his way through all queries, but you know if he had done anything but that, he would have been seared for disloyalty, deflecting blame, and taking down hoards of people with him.
<br />
<br />
A-Rod did steroids before there were penalties in place for them. So did half the free world. So we can’t get angry at that, unless we are prepared to be equally as incensed by every other soul who did the same. <br />
<br />
A-Rod said he never did it, and that makes him evil because he did do it. Bitch, please. Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone here.
Obama signed a sweeping, tough bill for an anti-smoking campaign, but never really kicked the habit himself. <br />
<br />
Is the crime here that A-Rod fraudulently aligned himself with an anti-drug campaign when he himself was (allegedly) doing the very thing he was telling kids not to do? Is that why everyone is so up in arms?
<br />
<br />
You think that every spokesperson for every charity is innocent of the evil he or she purports to loathe? Would A-Rod be absolved of such harsh criticism if he had never aligned himself against steroids publicly? <br />
<br />
If that is the case, then why are we getting on his case for his silence?
Spike Lee gets all on his soap box about NBA players being essentially slaves, and how cruel is the exploitative business of pro sports. But no one’s hating on him for not giving up his courtside tickets. <br />
<br />
What about celebrities who go all high and mighty about how their perfect physique is the product of a vegetable diet and cardio or whatever? Would we be so incensed to find out that to no one’s great surprise, they had work done and actuallllly it turns out they’re not really 100% au natural?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong></strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><strong>NARCS vs FARCE</strong>
</span></div>
<br />
You know what? I’d be ok with the criticism if it wasn’t a charity with which A-Rod aligned himself, but rather, if A-Rod was in a position of doling out punishments. <br />
<br />
Like, if was fining people, or if he was a PED-hall-monitor-narc-type person, or otherwise was in charge of exposing steroid use for the purpose of furthering swift punishment. Then his own alleged use would be the height of insidious hypocrisy.
<br />
<br />
But all A-Rod did was tell kids not to use steroids. That asshole. I bet a lot of kids didn’t do it because of him. I bet he had an impact on a lot of kids’ lives because of that. If you disagree with that sentiment, if you think that he had zero bearing on these kids, then you really have no reason to get upset that he lied to them in the first place. <br />
<br />
Hey, you know who DID try to enact punishments? David Ortiz. He wanted to ban everyone who tested positive.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"I think you clean up the game by the testing," Ortiz said. "I know that if I test positive by using any kind of substance, I know that I'm going to disrespect my family, the game, the fans and everybody, and I don't want to be facing that situation."<br />
<br />
"So what would I do? I won't use it, and I'm pretty sure that everybody is on the same page."
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
Then he was informed he tested positive. <br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“Based on the way I have lived my life, I am surprised to learn I tested positive. I will find out what I tested positive for. You know me, I will not hide and I will not make excuses."
</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.hark.com/clips/qbvxswfpjq-do-you-want-to-change-your-bullshit-story-sir" target="_blank">Right.</a>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;"></span></strong><br />
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">“ONLY COWARDS INSULT INJURED MAJESTY.” –AESOP</span></strong>
</div>
<br />
My mom once told me “our first responsibility is to be a good person.” Is A-Rod a good person? How the hell should I know? We don’t know if any of these athletes that we adore and despise are good people. BUT they are people. They’re human. (For the most part. I wouldn’t rush to file Sneachiro under the “Born and Raised on the Planet Earth” heading.)
<br />
<br />
My point is that I get why people do steroids. I don’t think it makes them bad people. I got to a point in my life where I realized I don’t have enough energy to waste on harmless people.
The only people who I’m okay with unleashing my ire and contempt are malicious people. The ones who go out of their way to be cruel. Who prey on weak, who feel better about themselves when they’re making others feel bad. <br />
<br />
I don’t think A-Rod falls into that category. So while I can’t defend cheating or lying, I can certainly attack the treatment he’s getting. <br />
<br />
It used to be that society sated its need for moral superiority by actively championing the underdog.
But maybe that ideal has been replaced by demonizing juggernauts. <br />
<br />
It's not enough for them to be taken down, they need to be stripped of their dignity and spirit.
We've come to embrace this belief that perfection is terrifying and that the sooner we can capitalize on its armor's chinks, the better.
<br />
<br />
If you’re going to lynch someone, then make sure your fury is fueled by logic. Because otherwise you’re really no better than the supposed hypocrite that you’re condemning. <br />
<br />
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, for as long as A-Rod plays for the Yankees, then he gets my support. "If you want to be on the wagon for the glitz and glammer, you gotta stay on it when it hits the hammer."<br />
<br />
Go Yanks.Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-67159304959539432262013-06-17T09:29:00.001-04:002013-06-17T09:29:23.842-04:00Happy Father's Day (BACK FROM ENDO!)Ahh, so I took a red eye back from San Fran. A gas leak in the convention center cut the trip a little short, unfortunately, but now I'm back in NYC for at least a week. I didn't get to post this yesterday, but I did write a little something for my dad to honor how incredible he is. <br />
<br />
Because my family is 100% nuts, my dad used to read to me the poem "Gunga Din" when I was little. (What, that's a normal bed time story for a 6-year old.) So I returned the favor, sort of. <br />
<br />
From the Marriott in San Fran:<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/qlDODxp1bj4?rel=0" width="420"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;">And his reaction, courtesy my sister in Long Beach:</span><br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/GFK1UK0ffkA?rel=0" width="420"></iframe>
<span style="font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>"Gunga Dad"</strong></span><br />
You may talk of Father's Day, <br />
While I'm stationed in the Bay. <br />
As dad would say, the training's good for me. <br />
And as his oldest daughter, <br />
To me he walks on water,<br />
And licks the creamsicles of them that's got it. <br />
Now in Long Beach's sunny clime, <br />
Where he likes to measure time, <br />
So every 15 minutes we'll hear DING! <br />
In the years I've grown,<br />
The finest man I've known,<br />
Is no other than the man we call the King. <br />
It was Dad, Dad, Dad! <br />
You number crunching cremating wackadoo! <br />
Hi, No Doritos! <br />
Watch your toes, nobody knows! <br />
You charismatic nutjob, Tommy P. <br />I shant forget the nights,<br />
When I dropped behind the fights,<br />
Whether school or sports or work that did me in.<br />
I'd fear the impending attack, <br />
And the man that got my back, <br />
Was my good old grinning, laughing friend and guard. <br />
He said to listen well, <br />
And to always give em hell. <br />
And to do the right thing even what it's hard. <br />
Not sounding like a lot, <br />
But of all the advice I got, <br />
I'm gratefullest to the one from my brilliant dad. <br />
It was Dad, Dad, Dad!<br />
He's my hero with a screw loose in his head. <br />
He knows something about everything, <br />
That's why he's called the King. <br />
And for Gawd's sake, someone make him some iced tea.<br />He carried me away, <br />
From the bad man (so he says), <br />
And saved Mom when she was blown up in a tree. <br />
He's kept us safe from harm, <br />
Perfected my pitching arm, <br />
And taught us the secret password, Open sesame! <br />
He's fearless and he's strong, <br />
Has never once been wrong, <br />
(Just ask him, it's a truth we all know well.)<br />
He runs his poker tables, <br />
(Vouched by Toby Bagels), <br />
And invented a craps system on Excel. <br />
It was Dad, Dad, Dad! <br />
He's the weirdo singing songs out on the deck. <br />
Snatching up your people! <br />
Scaring all the seagulls! <br />
On the phone, he's taking the B-E-T-S, bets. <br />For thirty-two long years, <br />
Of blood, of sweat, of tears. <br />
He's never let me down a single day, <br />
From bikes and training wheels, <br />
To cooking countless meals, <br />
"Hm this is so good," he'll always say. <br />
So I'll meet him later on, <br />
When my business trip is done, <br />
Where it's always nice and sunny on Delaware. <br />
He'll be doing magic tricks, <br />
Explaining how bleen comes after six, <br />
And I'll make a foamy egg cream for us to share. <br />
It was Dad, Dad, Dad! <br />
My carbon copy idol and best friend, <br />
Though we've fought along the way, <br />
Believe me when I say, <br />
I love him more with every single day.<br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"></span><br />
<span style="font-size: medium;"><strong>The Original Poem:</strong></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>You may talk o' gin
and beer <br />When you're quartered safe out 'ere, <br />An' you're sent to
penny-fights an' Aldershot it; <br />But when it comes to slaughter <br />You will
do your work on water, <br />An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got
it. <br />Now in Injia's sunny clime, <br />Where I used to spend my time
<br />A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Queen, <br />Of all them blackfaced crew <br />The
finest man I knew <br />Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din.<br />He was "Din! Din!
Din! <br />"You limpin' lump o' brick-dust, Gunga Din!<br />"Hi! Slippy hitherao!
<br />"Water, get it! </em><span style="font-size: medium;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>Panee lao<br />"You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga
Din."</em></span>
</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><em>The uniform 'e wore <br />Was nothin' much before,<br />An' rather less than 'arf
o' that be'ind,<br />For a piece o' twisty rag<br />An' a goatskin water-bag<br />Was
all the field-equipment 'e could find.<br />When the sweatin' troop-train
lay<br />In a sidin' through the day,<br />Where the 'eat would make your bloomin'
eyebrows crawl,<br />We shouted " Harry By!" <br />Till our throats were bricky-dry,
<br />Then we wopped 'im 'cause 'e couldn't serve us all. <br />It was "Din! Din!
Din!<br />"You 'eathen, where the mischief 'ave you been? <br />"You put some
juldee in it <br />"Or I'll marrow you this minute <br />"If you don't
fill up my helmet, Gunga Din!"
</em><em>'E would dot an' carry one <br />Till the longest day was done;<br />An' 'e
didn't seem to know the use o' fear.<br />If we charged or broke or cut,<br />You
could bet your bloomin' nut,<br />'E'd be waitin' fifty paces right flank
rear.<br />With 'is mussick' on 'is back,<br />'E would skip with our attack,<br />An'
watch us till the bugles made "Retire,"<br />An' for all 'is dirty 'ide<br />'E was
white, clear white, inside<br />When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire!<br />It
was "Din! Din! Din!"<br />With the bullets kickin' dust-spots on the green
<br />When the cartridges ran out, <br />You could hear the front-ranks shout,
<br />"Hi! ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!"
</em><em>I sha'n't forgit the night <br />When I dropped be'ind the fight <br />With a
bullet where my belt-plate should 'a' been.<br />I was chokin' mad with
thirst,<br />An' the man that spied me first<br />Was our good old grinnin',
gruntin' Gunga Din.<br />'E lifted up my 'ead,<br />An' he plugged me where I bled,
An' 'e guv me 'arf-a-pint o' water green.<br />It was crawlin' and it
stunk,<br />But of all the drinks I've drunk,<br />I'm gratefullest to one from
Gunga Din.<br />It was "Din! Din! Din!<br />"'Ere's a beggar with a bullet through
'is spleen"<br />"'E's chawin' up the ground, <br />"An' 'e's kickin' all
around:<br />"For Gawd's sake git the water, Gunga Din!
</em><em>'E carried me away <br />To where a dooli lay, <br />An' a bullet come an'
drilled the beggar clean.<br />'E put me safe inside,<br />An' just before 'e
died,<br />"I 'ope you liked your drink" sez Gunga Din.<br />So I'll meet 'im later
on<br />At the place where 'e is gone<br />Where it's always double drill and no
canteen.<br />'E'll be squattin' on the coals<br />Givin' drink to poor damned
souls,<br />An' I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!<br />Yes, Din! Din!
Din!<br />You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!<br />Though I've belted you and flayed
you,<br />By the livin' Gawd that made you,<br />You're a better man than I am,
Gunga Din!</em></span>Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2851986562628551289.post-49561751515185832342013-06-14T17:25:00.001-04:002013-06-14T17:25:48.872-04:00I WILL be back, I promise<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgprtpUBjHFovPNQ-6TSwQ2nWP4un8p0uJSQmpaoFKmazfPAF2_SUH8PbG_ia7zsUds8_JYoPfba2SwmytpRt8INsJrFgeKk1-sOPJMksv2wrcEy2bTG-m8MXemHSf5jfzz5Bav0hdmg2k/s1600/18inningoakland.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="188" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgprtpUBjHFovPNQ-6TSwQ2nWP4un8p0uJSQmpaoFKmazfPAF2_SUH8PbG_ia7zsUds8_JYoPfba2SwmytpRt8INsJrFgeKk1-sOPJMksv2wrcEy2bTG-m8MXemHSf5jfzz5Bav0hdmg2k/s400/18inningoakland.png" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Loss. </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uCoOcSVI4MCzzRKOkiQTF2qI8fwBHZibrEd_c_MltRvhElgrEY_kLKVVIML1grcT-lDKpPOF43_JizyhWDfj5UB905iOtLflZ1QhrOEJLNyXx6jE0nrgWDySkJOJ7_Dy7s94Var_NsU/s1600/oaklandgame1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9uCoOcSVI4MCzzRKOkiQTF2qI8fwBHZibrEd_c_MltRvhElgrEY_kLKVVIML1grcT-lDKpPOF43_JizyhWDfj5UB905iOtLflZ1QhrOEJLNyXx6jE0nrgWDySkJOJ7_Dy7s94Var_NsU/s320/oaklandgame1.jpg" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">win.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
I'm sorry, as I mentioned earlier in the month, I was at <a href="http://chicago2013.asco.org/" target="_blank">ASCO</a> in Chicago for a week, and then baiscally went straight from there to San Francisco for work, and now am in the throes of the <a href="https://www.endocrine.org/meetings/endo-annual-meeting/endo-2013#/nav/" target="_blank">Endocrinology Conference</a> out here. Soo.... yes, while I did get to go enjoy an 18-inning loss in Oakland, I'm back on the clock here, and will be working around the clock until roughly June 24.<br />
<br />
I'll be back at the end of the month, blogging about the games in full force. I usually can make the whole not-sleeping-so-I-can-fit-blogging-into-my-work-schedule thing work out, but in the face of ASCO, ENDO, and traveling this much...yeah, not so much. I think it's actually physically impossible.<br />
<br />
I'll see you in a week! Go Yankees!Crazy Yankee Chickhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13122967122482170769noreply@blogger.com1