"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Well, this was probably more of a field day for sports media than a perfect game. Seriously, this year in baseball has basically just been the gods handing over filet mignons talking heads. Or, as a more apropos albeit trite analogy, they've been lobbing in softballs.

Jaime Moyer tonight became the oldest pitcher to beat the Yankees. Does it get any better than that for the average sports fan or Yankee hater (which, to be honest, are 9 out of 10 times 2 synonymous terms)?

As I mentioned in yesterday's recap, Jaime Moyer has been the reliable replacement for Julio Franco, whose name rolled off announcers' tongue with glee with every AB. My sister and I always followed up every "The oldest current player" by noting, "who looks every bit his age."

That's the best part about these little moments of marveling. Everyone acts like these dinosaurs are like these ageless immortals who drank the potion in "Death Becomes Her."



But, yeah, not so much. They look older than they are, actually, perhaps by sheer juxtaposition to the fetuses throwing 14K games and banking salamis in their first AB.

And yet sometimes, they have these Kenny Rogers esque moments, and best the Yankees. And everyone cheers and delights in the same rush of youthful effervescence as when a rookie hits a walkoff.

Prior to tonight, Moyer had his all-time career worst outing, a red letter game against the Sux when he let up 9 runs in a RELIEF APPEARANCE (HA! I forgot this was a start! I just remember him only recording 3 outs and the part of my brain responsible for game analysis recalled this as a relief outing! Wow), a game that brought him within striking distance of a less auspicious record: the most HRs let up by any one pitcher.

He's currently 1 short of the record (504). We're all pulling for you, big guy.

I mean that literally, I suppose.

Anyways, the Yanks lose to Old Man Dinger, and while I didn't catch this one live on account of being stuck in office, I did watch parts of the Encore presentation, and it really wasn't that bad. I don't like to blame any one player normally, but in this case, it's towards a positive conclusion.

If it wasn't for AJ, we win this one. I know, that's like saying, "If it weren't for the alcohol, I'm sober." But I mean in the sense that Moyer didn't completely blank us. 5Ks is nothing, and he did let up 2 homeruns (to the obvious suspects, of course. Jorge "You wanna DH me, m'f'er? BE MY GUEST" Posada, and Robinson "I think I may be hitting my stride, kind of" Cano.)

Arod came back home and knocked in a ribbie double. I'm starting to think the Yankee DL is like some kind of hedonistic spa or something, since (knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood) the guys just seem to sidestep that whole transitional recovery phase and return to the game like they shaved off 10 years of their lives.

It was the Flying Hawaiian's triple early on that put the Yankees in a bit of a hole. 3 RBIs with one swing of the bat. 4-0 heading into the bottom of the 2nd. Cano is starting to do the same thing Kobe does when his team's in trouble. Grabs the game himself and basically says, "Do I have to do everything myself?" and then just goes on scoring rampages. Robbie hits a solo shot that, at press time, still hasn't landed.

451 feet. Too bad you don't get extra points for distance. Then maybe the back-to-back dings from Howard and Werth in the 3rd wouldn't have been as costly?

Burnett was off his game in every way possible, though, so there was only so much the offense could do when your starter's mind is somewhere in a galaxy far, far away. In fact, Girardi yanked him in the 4th, not after he gave up more runs, but after he inexplicably failed to cover 1st after Tex makes a great snag on Utley's hit.

Oops.

I'd say, based on these observations, that it's a safe bet we got Bad AJ tonight. Just hazarding a theory, is all. 6 runs plated before he hands the game over to Boone Logan, who I often forget is a person let alone someone on the Yankees' roster, and Chad Gaudin. Neither gave up any runs to their credit, further supporting the notion that AJ kinda messed this one up for us.

However, I am an AJ apologist, and I think that what he's done for the team FARRRR outways outings like this. I'm ok with suffering through a handful of Bad AJ starts, because Good AJ makes everyone electric. He brought an unpredictable mania to the team that's quite inimitable, and in a good way.

And, hey, look at Moyer, he had a veritable implosion just 5 days ago, and today he's huffing and puffing his way to a W, riding the coattails of a mid-70s fastball (I'm not kidding. I bet they had to get the little league radar gun for this one. Kinda like how they had to use the Children's Trivial Pursuit for Peter Griffin.)