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Reason #329 why the YES network is the handiwork of God by consistently demonstrating that, indeed, it is great to be young and a Yankee.

Text to Laur:

“Are you watching the game or are you still asleep?”

“Ok, well the YES booth is 100% bombed or something.”

I love when the cameras pan to the booth announcers. Except when it’s Tweedledee and –dum, aka Morgan & Miller—possibly the only sports duo that can’t parlay irrelevant vamping into an entertaining dynamic.

For example, yesterday they show Michael Kay, Al Leiter, and John Flaherty lined up at their table, as jovial as 3 kids waiting for their post-bologna sandwich Hostess cupcake dessert. And Kay points out how they all wore red ties! Which was unfortunate for Leiter because that called attention to the fact his tie ended somewhere around 6 inches above his navel. Kay and Flaherty both notice this at the same time, and as if it the look itself wasn’t amusing enough, Leiter’s proud indignation just made the hilarity balloon that much more:

“It’s a WINDSOR knot, for your information.”

Which, for the layman, apparently is a knot that rivals the size of Spain, which explained why there was only about 2 inches left of tie left to hang down his shirt.

“Al, put your jacket on or something.”

“I’m not putting my jacket on, it’s too hot.”

There was a game going on, but I’m with the YES booth on this one: TieGate 2009 was infinitely more interesting. They couldn’t even stop giggling once they went back to calling the game—“hahahaha, woo boy, ahhh. Oh and there’s a single.. THAT TIE!! HA!”

Which begs the question: What the HELL is going on in the Yankee clubhouse these days?

Is someone lacing their Poland Spring with absinthe? The Steroids-Start-With-NY conspiracy theory is going to soon be shelved in favor of testing the boys for Valium and nitrous oxide.

I’m not judging. If they want to do their makeup like Jack Nicholson in Batman, a.) I wouldn’t be surprised at this point and b.) giddy up, I bet it’ll look great!

In terms of the game, CC pitched great, though low on Ks for my fantasy team’s liking. The only snafu of the throwing staff came at the hands of Tomko—what is this guy doing in instead of, well, anyone else?

The following are people I’d send to the mound in the 11th inning before Tomko:

· Aceves
· Edwar Ramirez
· Wang
· Swisher
· Dave Summers
· Jennifer Grey
· Woodstock

The hitting from the team was consistent with what it’s been as of late, hard shots roped around the field, with the addition of a broken bat solo from Teixeira which I was psyched about since I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before in baseball. (Or, well, any sport.)

Team LOB: 8. Not thrilled about that, but given the way their energy has so drastically improved in the last few weeks, I’m filing this one away in the Can’t-Win-Em-All silo. It was, however, interesting how I just wrote yesterday that the 2 last people I’d want to see in the clutch were Pena and Hideki, who are exactly the people that did end up being at the plate. I can’t fault Pena too much since his shot was a rocket, just hit directly at the OF. I can’t even watch Hideki bat because he swing is starting to send chills down my spine. Could be my fever, but I can’t tell.

I know technically the inning prior could be brought up in defense of these two—2 on, and no outs, and still couldn’t bring 1 run in. But who can you blame for that really? I’m hardly going to punish Tex for grounding into a double play, because Tex is awesome and wonderful and has carte blanche to make an occasional out. And to every hater’s insipid disappointment, ARod intentionally walked, missing another chance to give bitter assclowns a reason to taunt him.

It sucked to lose in extra innings, especially since Yankee fans have been getting used to (maybe too used to) these walkoff victories. Maybe we needed that loss? I don’t know. I’m not worried about it though, despite the hyperbolic hopping about that Boston fans are doing now that the Sox are in first.

I can only roll my eyes. There’s more distance between the dimples on a basketball than there is between NY and Boston in the standings. And the way this team’s been playing, it’s only a matter of time before the Sox are pushed down. Boston admittedly was the hotter stronger team about a month ago, but they’re not playing as well as the Yankees are. And if I were them, I’d simmer down on the “We are the Champions” jukebox selections.

I run into this guy last night who is apparently tethered to 10 foot radius of 84th and 2nd since there’s maybe 12 times in my UES tenure that I haven’t seen him there. And he’s like if Mystery from the Pick Up Artist decided to get into Sportscenter. He makes no bones about his Boston allegiances. I wish I had had a camera on me to capture this card-carrying member of Red Sox Nation strutting around in a tshirt under a blazer. Specifically, an “I Heart N.Y.” tshirt. The “NEW YORK SUCKS!” digs lose a little something when they’re coming from not only someone who’s comfortable wearing a blazer over a tshirt to a sports bar in 85 degree weather, but who got dressed that night thinking, “Oooh this shirt! This one’s perfect! I look good. Yeah.” If Boston fans insist on migrating to our town, at least have the decency to cultivate a modicum of intelligence before you get here. Or if you can’t, then have the decency to be a homebody.

I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again—every time you wax imbecilic with these whiny jeers, you’re making it worse for yourself in the long run. I didn’t say a word when the defending champs Celtics got embarrassed by Orlando in just the 2nd round of the playoffs (but since I brought it up… the best part about that series? THE LOOK ON PAUL PIERCE’S FACE. Van Gundy looked pretty happy, yeah? The look on his face was outstanding.) Didn’t bring up the Bruins losing in OT in the worst [read: BEST] way possible (way to show the world you aint gonna take shit lying down, Ward!).

It’s quite a gamble you’re taking, Boston. Good luck with that.


  1. Frank Strangeman said...
    Lot of good stuff here. I don't get using Tomko in high leverage situations. Has he ever been used like that in his career? Not to my knowledge.

    What's your take on Damon? At the beginning of the year, I was excited him and Matsui are off the books after the year, but Damon has been great. His age and likely salary demands are a concern though.

    As for the Boston asshat, all I can say is wow!
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Thanks, Frank.. I have NO idea what the rationale was behind that move. I have to assume there's some kind of roulette wheel in the bullpen that gets a spin during the Verizon Call to the Bullpen.

    Damon is the man. He was sick especially tail end of last season I thought, and is so consistently good this year, what's his OBP? It must be in the upper end of the majors, not to mention he's logging extra base hits with relative frequency too. I don't understand what happened, though, in the last 2 games that he got called out at the plate. I mean, the call was obvi right, I just can't understand why he was trotting home like he was fetching an overthrown frisbee.

    As for the Boston asshat, they'll get karmic retribution soon enough...

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