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First off, there's this:

The original notes that were referenced in previous post. Far be it for me to reject good copywriter habits and inaccurately reference something. It’d be like an astronaut going home and saying, “Hon, where’s my dinner? You act like the earth doesn’t revolve around me or something.”

The original text of the aforementioned Cone Zone notes:

Note #1:

Dear Dona, thank you for the ice cream. I liked the gummie bear, it was so good I almost exploded. So thank you for the ice cream.

Note #2:

Dear Donna,

I relly liked the ice-creem and a spleshly hot fuge. I had three bols.

Thank you!!!



Samsonite! I was WAY off!

The second item I’d like to bring up is the fact that I was sorely disappointed with the lack of aggressive Kris Allen headlines. A spleshly disappointed with the NY Post, whose commitment to even-keeled journalism has brought us winning heads such as this one.

And they couldn’t think of anything better for the AI finale?

Like…KRS-WON! Kris Reigns Supreme—WATCH OUT Nyc! Or, Kris is better than Adam. Or KRIS RULES AT LIFE! I realize this is just American Idol, but cmon, if they’re going to go so far as imply a singing contest determines the country’s hero, then the media should be prepared to hyperbolize a bit in kind. Just saying.

With those 2 issues out of the way, it’s on the Yankee’s Baltimore sweep.

In short, my manic euphoria was tempered a bit last night.

Listen, I don’t care if they swept Boston or Baltimore, wins are wins. And even more so than football, baseball is the epitome of the “Any Given Sunday” phenomenon. Except I guess it’d be “Any Given Gameday.” You put the heart of the game into the hands of a different person every night. And no pitcher, particularly this year, is consistently dominant. Every lights-out juggernaut has had at least one disgusting start this year. (As evidenced by the fact Tim Lincecum is no longer on my fantasy team. I impale myself on my own impatience every year. Sigh.)

So, I turn a deaf ear to anyone who pshhhh’s at the wins with a dismissive, “Wow. The O’s. You must be proud.” I guess it’s no greater accomplishment than, say, Ortiz getting on base. (When Mo gave up a HR in the 9th inning of the 11-4 game, 2 guys at the end of the bar who could’ve been auditioning for the role of Bernie up until that point, decided to come alive. “YEAH, MO! NICE JOB! First HR of that guy’s career, too.”

They certainly got us Yank fans good. Wow. I wonder if they went home thinking, “yeah some douche Yankee fan at this bar was all excited until I let her know what was what.” It’d be like being at your ex’s wedding and when the groom smeared wedding cake all over his bride’s face, you get up and yell, “WAY TO HAVE ICING ON YOUR CHEEKS! HA! Loser.” I guess Sox fans are grasping at straws now. They should do what we do and just PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR OWN FREAKING TEAM.

While Mo’s slip up was barely a blip on my radar, the bullpen circus yesterday did stir up some concerns. Beginning with Joba leaving after a line drive was introduced to his knee cap. I can’t even think about this without chills running down my spine. I wail to high heaven if a subway turnstile so much as bangs me on the thigh, I think I’d just go into CNS shock if my patella got permanent baseball stitching imprints on it.

Injury update: Joba exits; X-rays on knee negative, Girardi 'hopeful' righty won't miss start after liner strikes leg

As distressing as this initially was, the long relief from Aceves was nothing short of stunning. How many tight outings does this guy have to bank before the club recognizes him as the most reliable and the most skilled arm currently in the pen?

It’s like how Damon’s offensive prowess was getting no credit at the end of last year, first 2-3 weeks of this year…what exactly is not remarkable about this pitcher who’s proven himself to be bafflingly dominant hurler since day 1?

But when Aceves was yanked in favor of putting in the pitcher who I’m so dismissive of that I refuse to learn how to correctly spell his name, so I’m just calling him Adobe from now.

Fortunately, the shaky bullpen work was backed up with outstanding offense from practically the entire team. Which ultimately is a fantastic sign, because it means the Yanks aren’t falling into old habits of “What’s the point of hitting, everything sucks.” Someone needs to send Kevin Long a bottle of Chateau Margaux. Or, even better, this.

The Yanks have always had, unassailably, talented bats. They just haven’t always been consistent with them. But it’s not just that they’re hitting more, it’s the shots that they’re hitting. As my buddy Keith pointed out, “There’s not a cheap shot in the game.” They’re connecting and connecting good. The change is their mechanics as a whole is palpable and the results even more so.

Hopefully we continue to ride this surge through the Philly’s series. This must be like what Ken Jennings felt like once he had officially been spotlighted for his streak. Keep it up, Yankees. I think you are just delightful.


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