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So I guess this is the Yankees' new thing now. Bring the game to within one run, somehow beg borrow and steal to get Gardner and his cartoonishly fast legs on 3B. Then end the inning by grounding out. Yesterday they mixed it up a little things from getting too stale for the fans, but stranding Teix on 1B, but still kept the Cano-Game-Ending-Double-Play element.

Today, the new twist was that it was Jeter grounding out. But since all Jeter's done in the last 7,012 at-bats is ground out, it didn't really surprise any fans.

Poor CC got taken out with an injury after 1 inning. Our best shot to go deep into the game and avoid the sting of the Chenns. Tightness in the biceps. I can't really hear about a CC muscle injury without automatically thinking "stroke." Fortunately, the fat man'll be back in business soon enough.

My 2nd favorite bullpen gem took over, only giving up 1 hit in 2.2 innings, and then handed the game over to the Chenns who predictably did their best (and succeeded) in putting the Yankees' offense in an even bigger hole to dig out of.

The Yankees were, in fact, up 3-1 at one point. But since Girardi thinks it's more fun to position Joba as a good but not great starter, instead of a unquestionably needed reliever, the game soon became 3-3.

But why stop at that? The bullpen then gave up a solo bomb, then another 2 for good measure, as the bullpen is want to do. They're probably the only people on the team studying the videos. Because it certainly looks like they've done extensive research to determine exactly how many runs are too much for the Yanks to overcome in the 7-8-9 innings. Which would explain our penchant for 1-run losses, especially after throwing up fake-rally runs prior to ultimately flatlining.

I love how Girardi decides to become a manager in the most pointless aspect of the game, when he calls the Marlins out on a roster discrepancy after a double-switch.

From the AP:
In an odd mixup, Chris Coghlan started the top of the eighth in left field after Florida manager Fredi Gonzalez had removed him in a double switch. Alejandro De Aza batted for pitcher Renyel Pinto in the seventh and was supposed to take over in left, but never ran on the field.
Leo Nunez threw a pitch, then Girardi came out to protest. After about a 5-minute delay, Coghlan was removed, Jeremy Hermida went to left field and the Yankees played the rest of the game under protest. They were trailing 6-3 at the time.
Girardi thought Nunez should have been ruled out of the game as well once the mistake was recognized.
"But I'd like to keep the two runs I got in the ninth," Girardi joked.

Yuk it up, Joe. Losing is HILARIOUS. Congratulations for catching Florida in trying to pull the wool over everyone's eyes. What was the best thing that could have happened here? We get a consolation run thrown up on the board? If Girardi wants to pantomime manager-type moves, I'd prefer it if he used this keen eye, attention to detail, and dedication to the book, towards the more meticulous management of his team. How can you be so on top of everything that you can notice this err in the double-switch, but can't manage to see the most fundamental problems eroding at the strength of your club?

The latest lapse in judgment stems from Girardi's unwillingness, or maybe it's just ignorance, to slow down the opposing pitcher. He just lets the game fly by, watching his unassailably skilled team get mystified by pitchers. One after another. Look, if you're going to patently refuse to do any kind of research or preparation for the game, help out your players a LITTLE bit by interrupting the pitcher's groove. Call time outs. Have the batters step out of the box. Do avoid helping the pitcher settle into his zone.

The off day today couldn't have come at a better time. Let your weary, NL-ed out club get some rest. They're dealing with a legion of insignificant slash significant injuries that are manifesting themselves in small slash consequential ways. Jeter's ankle. ARod's fatigue. CC's muscles. Gardner's headache. Damon's blindness.

In the meantime, I have discovered the joy of the Yes Network's "Yankees on Deck." I watched it yesterday, which originally just started out as having it as background noise while I did the crossword. But then Al Leiter comes on screen, and charmed the hell out of me. Back off. Some people have Orlando Bloom or Josh Duhamel, I have Al Leiter and Mark Teixeira. (PS I definitely had to do a google search to find out names of men considered hot right now. The only name I could come up with was Brad Pitt, and I don't know if that's considered old news. Like Kirk Cameron or something.)

So yesterday on Yankees on Deck, we join Brian Bruney, CC, and Swisher on a fishing outing. I don't really know what the theme of this show is. First we have Leiter in a classroom giving us 2 quick lessons on weird baseball rules. (1. You're not allowed to steal first from second in an effort to confuse the catcher. So noted. 2. You can't blow a fair ball foul because it's interference.)

Then we cut to the 3 aforementioned Yankees in a boat about the size of hammock. Bruney is apparently the fishing guru and looks and talks like he wants to throw the other 2 out of the boat for making a mockery of "catching," the proper term for fishing. Swisher asserts early on that he's there for the sandwiches, "which are just TREMENDOUS! What's this one? Turkey? I don't care, I'm eating it whatever it is." CC looks like he would have been more comfortable if someone told him he had to be the keynote speaker at a molecular engineering conference.

So Bruney's catching one fish after another, Swisher gets a couple, CC becomes a cartoon and manages to only catch some kind of rubber boot looking thing. But his narration of the whole thing is all-time, "Bruney's on his 17th fish or something. Swish's got a couple, but all he wants to do is eat now, so he's doing that. And I haven't really caught anything. I got this though," as he holds up a box of goldfish crackers. "And I'd say there's like a lot in here, so I got the most fish of anyone today."

As much as I'd like to say CC gets Badass of the Day for that, it's really not even a contest since the prize most certainly goes to my dad. Not just because of Father's Day, but because he, for certain, had the Best Day Ever.

I hope he dropped some White Men Can't Jump line, (well, on everyone except for this Aaron Gustavson guy.)

"I don't mean to brag...but I'm the greatest."

But I pretty much picture my dad playing poker the way Vince Vaughn plays Madden in "The Break Up."


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