"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Ok, what seems to be the problem here?

My profound sympathies extend to whoever was actually in attendance for this game. I can't think of a worse way to spend the day. Seriously. I think I wouldn't wish being at Yankee Stadium on my worst enemies yesterday. But a lot of that stems from my unbridled impatience and inability to sit still for 5 minutes.

How does it get worse than a synthesis of this terrifying elements:

• Rain delayed game
• 5-hour rain delayed game
• 5-hour rain delayed game where you spent the entire 5 hours wondering if it was going to be ultimately called off, where you continually wrestled with the dilemma or whether it was worth staying around, since the torrential downpour wasn't going anywhere. Do you leave now? Or stick it out hoping the tarp will come off? And you've been waiting for a few hours already, so do you cut your losses and leave while you still have the rest of the day off, a day that you used a precious personal day for? Or do you say "F-it. I've been here this long, may as well hold out."
• A loss to the Nationals. A TEAM THAT CAN'T EVEN SPELL ITS OWN NAME RIGHT.
• A shut out loss to the Nationals. A TEAM THAT'S ONLY WON 17 GAMES.
• A shut out series loss to the Nationals. A TEAM THAT HASN'T WON A SERIES SINCE THE FIRST WEEK IN MAY AGAINST THE LAST PLACE TEAM IN THE WORST DIVISION IN THE ENTIRE MLB.
• A homerless game. The first one in the history of GNH.
• A loss against a pitcher who had never had a Major League win.
• 0 for 4 with RISP. I'm surprised they ever even had RISP.
• Joba walks in a run. Few things more disheartening.
• Our fastest, best OF gets hauled off the field after trying to run through the Plexiglass in center field like the Road Runner had painted a tunnel on it or something. Ok, that's more disheartening than walking a run in.
• The Yanks fall to about 98 games back in the AL East.

I will now pull my endocrine system out of my body.

Ways yesterday could have been worse (outside of GNH falling on top of itself, killing all spectators and the entire Yankees' team):

• No alcohol served
• Heidi Montag entertains fans during delay with her vocal stylings
• The Nationals score double digit runs
• My fantasy team could have suffered harder, but as it were, Cristian Guzman went 3/5, Cano 2/4, Dunn 2/2, and Joba at least had 6Ks. Joba should be in the pen, btw, if I hadn't reiterated that in the last 4 hours.
• Could have been a sweep
• I could be from Boston
  

I think that's about it. I'm really racking my brains for ways that could have made yesterday a tougher pill to swallow, and just coming up empty. Coming up empty. Must be the theme for NY these days. Grumble grumble.

I can't tell if the Associated Press is being condescending, or if they're having Big Bird ghostwrite their recaps now. The following come from their Nats-Yanks synopsis:

"Boosted by Ryan Zimmerman's three hits and a bunch of nifty plays, Washington posted its first two-game winning streak....Unsure whether there would be a game, Stammen bided his time by reading a book, watching games on TV and eating lunch. Hours later, he learned he would be pitching."I guess it started right on time for me," he said. Maybe it was the damp air, or perhaps it had more to do with Stammen's neat 6 1/3 innings, but nobody managed to clear the fences."

It sounds like the hall monitor's account of recess. Neat!

But despite everything that happened yesterday and Wednesday, I place the blame squarely on the shoulders of the managers/coaches. Teixeira hinted at the fact the scouting on the pitchers is not exactly at its prime:

"Every pitcher that we face, if you know them, you recognize pitches," Teixeira said. "You recognize tendencies and look for certain pitches. If you don't know a guy, you're going up there cold and hoping to swing at strikes.

"The way he was throwing, he was throwing a really good sinker and changeup, and we didn't always know which one was a strike."

"We always know we have a chance," Teixeira said. "Our team is too good. You can hold us down for a while, but we feel like we're going to score five or six runs every game. That's what our goal is."

Scoring 5 or 6 runs every game? Maybe that's true when you're not playing the defensive beasts known as the Washington Nationals. This was a little too reminiscent of Brady's pre-Super Bowl 42 prediction.

Now, the Yankees are on the road for the next 10 days, playing in the fun world of National League ballparks. Which means that as frightening as the last 2 days have been for Yankee fans, the most hair-raising is still not yet upon us. Starting tonight, and lasting until Sunday night, the Yanks will have to do what no American Leaguer ever wants to subject themselves or their fans too: bat their pitchers.

While I find it incredibly endearing to see Mariano Rivera awkwardly go through the motions of taking the batter's box, I think nothing will be a greater sight than CC at the plate.

So I shall offer these past fews days up to God. And move on. And think about the fact that above all, Have Faith in the Yankees. They're kind of like my oddly functional Nike watch. Sometimes when I look at it, I notice the second hand is ticking backwards, and then will tick forward eventually, jumping around with the predictability of one of those wildlife that animals that need to confuse their predators. Or mate. Same thing, I guess.



And like my watch, and the birds, the Yankees may be things backasswards. But ULTIMATELY, my watch somehow still always have the right time. I have no idea how this works. It acts like someone put butter and jam in its coils, but still manages to give me the right time.

Similarly, the Yanks are just doing things a little differently to get to where they need to be.

But they'll get there.