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Kevin: “How are their chances today?”
CYC: “100%. Bet the farm.:
Kevin: “This is their best line-up”
Kevin: “great minds..”
C YC: “True story.”

Of the following, which game would go all in on:
a.) Opening Day
b.) Old Timer’s Day
c.) Lou Gehrig Day
d.) Yogi Berra Day
e.) Jackie Robinson Day
f.) Games where Jack Nicholson is in attendance

It’s actually splitting hairs really, between Opening Day/Lou Gehrig Day/Yogi Berra Day. BUT since Lou Gehrig day is on July 4, it gets extra credibility. Similarly, if Don Larsen throws out the first pitch for Yogi Berra Day, that gets precedence.

But if Lou Gehrig Day falls on the day that the best pitcher in baseball is pitching against the most hapless pitcher in baseball, you go with the Yankees. Every day of the week and 2x on Sunday.

I will admit that the red hats throw me off, and maybe even throw a monkey wrench in the money line if you’re betting based on psychotic Yankee-centric superstitions, like, I don’t know, sayyyy, the type of person who refused to talk to people who use red lighters or wear red shirts during baseball season. Just a guess.

It’s interesting, because I hate numbers with the same kind of animosity and disgust that I normally reserve for Papelbon. But when it comes to the role numbers play in baseball, I may as well be Gerard Lambeau. Fascinated by the study and even more fascinated by people who actually understand it.

For example, if you look at today’s game date: July 4, 2009. 7-4-09. Which equals 20. 7+4+9. Who else was gonna win the game for the Yankees? #20. Posada.

The same way Mo’s 500th save came on the day he hit his first RBI to make the score 4-2. Mo’s first RBI ever was against the 2nd best closer in the game. To make the score 4-2. It’s really uncanny how married baseball is to math. I hate it, but eh, can’t find city hall. Maybe in another lifetime baseball will be married to English, or some other non-numbers related study.

(I feel like the older version of Josh Baskin in Big when he offers to help the kid with his math homework by using basketball metaphors to make it fun, interesting, applicable…and at the same time winning favor with the older woman who apparently was the poster child for cougars circa 1988.)

I wish they would do something special with the broadcast booth during significant summer games, because I wrestle with a very big moral dilemma every time I’m faced with an afternoon game amidst 80 degree weather. I can either:

a.) Stay indoors and delight in the announcer stylings of Michael Kay and either Ken Singleton, Paul O’Neill, John Flaherty, or David Cone.

b.) Go to the beach and take my chances with Suzyn Waldman and John Sterling.

I tend to go with B.

Today was particularly difficult since we had my favorite duo in the booth (Kay/Cone..Kahone? Conay?) But I ended up biting the bullet and hoping that Sterling’s birthday would induce at least a handful of nonsensical ramblings.

Surprisingly, I just got my usual garden variety.

My favorite announcer line of the night actually came from Kay:

“Alright, Cone. Corny question. When you were pitching…did you ever just think…I don’t know…WOW, I’m a major league pitcher? Ever had a thought like that on the mound?”

It sounded EXACTLY like the scene in se7en when Brad Pitt says to Kevin Spacey, “I got a question for you, something I’ve been wondering about, yeah? When someone’s you clearly are…do you KNOW you’re crazy? Do you guys just sit around, reading Guns & Ammo, masturbating in your own feces and then just think WOW! It’s amazing how fucking crazy I am? Do you guys think that? Yeah.”

Cone’s brilliant response:

“Well, no. Because if you stop to think, you give up a homerun. And you’re no longer a major league pitcher.”

So the Yanks end up winning in 12, the Red Sux end up losing, and the gap in the AL East closes to 1.

1 is also the number of days left we have to suffer through the red hats.

Chien Ming Wang somehow managed to not implode, and the Yankees tagged the best pitcher in the league for 5 runs. The Yankees much criticized bullpen was eye-poppingly good. Where the hell did Phil Coke come from?? Seriously. I don't want to say he's done a 180 because that wouldn't even do his change justice. It's like if Heidi Pratt woke up one morning and had Whitney Houston's voice.

The Yankees went through a total of 7 pitchers. 4 runs off Wang, 1 off Dave Robertson, and as for the rest of the them? Between Rivera, Bruney, Coke, Tomko, and Hughes, there were 3 hits, no runs, and 2 BBs. Not bad for a bullpen that formerly was famous for handing over leads and cultivating wild insecurity and fear in the minds of their fans.

As good as the hurlers were, Brett Gardner's OF performance was better. You canot underestimate the value he is to this team. His insta-SBs and the amont of real estate he covers in center are niche skills that the Yankees aren't generally known for. For the first time in years, the Yankees looks like their defense is protecting the team as much as their long balls. And it's really a joy to watch.

(Suzyn Waldman, when giving the in-game score updates, tells us: "The Red Sox have lost 3-2 after a pop-up RBI from Chris Woodward. You know, for a bullpen that's supposed to be the most feared and best in the league, they're not really doing too hot.")


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