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"Weak blog. You should retire." -Kevin, 5:47PM
"Your blogs have gone downhill." --Kevin, 12:59AM
Thanks. Bears repeating, I guess.
So to placate someone who's dissatisfied if my recaps are devoid of incoherent ramblings and who's only interested in subject matter with only a loose connection to baseball (and if that subject matter happens to touch upon carnage or inappropriate anecdotal highlights, then bonus). I'm supplementing my last week of baseball with all the stuff that fell by the wayside in my efforts to abbreviate posts by limiting them to the actual game, for the sake of sleep and hence for the sake of not getting fired from my gainful employment.
But that plan's moot anyway, since if I ever do something for the sake of getting more sleep, I always use the extra time to do anything but sleep. For example, on Tuesday I got home from work when it was still light out and I was so excited about being able to get a good night's sleep that I stayed up til 4am watching DVR-ed "Escaped." It was realy easy to pass out after watching an overly graphic account of a 13-year old who was kidnapped by 16 year old Joe Clark, who spent 43 hours torturing him. Easily one of the most disturbing thing I've ever seen in my life.
Instead of arriving at the conclusion that "Escaped" is a bad choice, I watched another one. This one about Cynthia Vigil who escaped from David Ray Parker, and I'm not even going to go into this one because if I even think about it, I can white-out "restful sleep" on the list of things that may happen in the next 7 hours.
Other notes from this week:
- The following people have all been conspiciously absent this week: Mike Francesa, Michael Kay, the Yankees' pitching coach, Manny Ramirez's PR agent, Juan Uribe's Little Bit of Luck Man, Tom Brady's soul.
- Speaking of Michael Kay being gone, has there ever been any kind of stats complied for announcers' win-loss records? This must exist somewhere. It would make sense. Figure out who historically is the best luck, so he can be there for big games. Losing record announcers get relegated to interleague games.
- Also, are there stats available on how many of the characters in Real World history have normal names with normal spellings? This season boasts the absolute worst: Ayiiia. 3 i's! What was wrong with the first 1? Or the first 2 for that matter? What's the 3rd one add? If I had 3 i's in my name, I would definitely be so self-conscious about it that I'd go out of my way to stay under the radar for fear of people making jokes like "Kriiis is so egotistical, it's always me me me, I I I!" Or what about "There's no I in team because Kriiis's name stole all of them."
- Cody Ransom. Why. Seriously. Is this another Mike Borzello situation? If someone digs deeper, we're going to find some kind of genealogical tie between the Ransom and Girardi lineages. Or we're going to find that Girardi spilled wine on his mother's white leather ensemble and Cody Ransom saw an opportunity and swooped in: "$1000. I'll buy a new outfit and your mother will never be the wiser, if you pretend that I'm a third baseman for one month!"
- Jonathan Sanchez pitches a no-hitter-no-walker game in the same week that 2 Major League pitchers get credited with Ws without ever throwing a single pitch. Embree comes in in the 8th, picks a runner off first for the final out and then gets the win when Colorado scored in the next inning.
- Hanrahan isn't even at the field and still gets a win, when a rain-interrupted game from May for which he was the starter, was resumed on Thursday, picked up in the 5th inning. The Nats played out the rest of the game, won, and Hanrahan gets credited. Hanrahan also isn't even on the Nats anymore, which makes it even cooler. (I wonder if he wants to go into the Hall of Fame as a National or a Pirate?) So I guess Embree and Hanrahan exemplify all that the Yankee pitchers aspire to be.
- For the record, I don't want the Yankees to go anywhere near Halladay. We need 2 other starters, yes. Which is a problem that I can think can be easily remedied by bringing up Pat Venditte about 2-3 years early. He's in the Yankee system already, and we don't even need to find a 5th. (Btw, I had to watch that video about 7 times before I figured out that the announcer--at around 7 seconds in--ISN'T saying "That's kinda hot.")
- Jack Wilson made one of the best plays I've seen in a while. But it still doesn't crack the number #1 spot in my book, which has been occupied since August 9, 2005:
- I never won't get a kick out of the WNBA presence on the SportsCenter ticker. Is there ANYONE is the world at a bar who's staring intently at the tv saying, "Wait, one sec, I just gotta check the score of the Liberty game"?
- All-Star break coming up. It's a marginal step up from the Pro-Bowl, and only because at least there's another half season of baseball to look forward to once it's finally over. Why is such a big deal made over who gets votes in if half of them only play for 29 seconds? And why for the love of all things holy does this game carry even an ounce of weight?
- Rays' catcher Navarro leaves game after foul tip nails him in the jaw. Back up catcher Michael Hernandez comes in and promptly balks, advancing a runner, when he tries to pick up a ball with his mask. Reminded me EXACTLY of last year's Giants-Steelers game when the backup long snapper comes in only to chuck the ball as if King Kong was taking the snap, giving the Giants a safety and the win.
- And just to drive the point mentioned in bullet #1, Tom Brady is making a homeless man pay him $8000 for 2 flowerpots the guy thought were trash "because they were the next to the garbage, I had no idea!" Flowerpots. Seriously, Brady? First you almost drown in a canoe mishap and need a chick to rescue you. Now you're taking Garden/GarbageGate to court. When you got your ACL replacement surgery, did they use Donna Reed's cadaver?
- Awesome. 6AM. I had no idea what time it was. Bedtime for bozno. I'm looking at
apartments tomorrow and I need to have my faculties about me so I don't end up tiredly signing the lease to some wall-less shoe box floating on the river bank (craigslist: "OUTDOOR SPACE!! AMAZING VIEWS OF WATER!!! WON'T LAST!!!") As if to underscore my long overdue move, I locked myself IN my apt this week when I tried to leave for work only for the knob to fall out in my hand. Long week. - For some reason, I don't like it when the infielders toss the ball around after making an out, in the same way I don't like tv commercials that center on random customer testimonials from people on the streets with a microphone shoved in their faces, supposedly while they're just strolling along or, even better, when they get out of a movie.
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1. This season of the Real World is shaping up to be terrible. Not one person I find likable or 1 girl I find hot. If I had to hang out with one of them, I guess it'd be the rocker dude, but even he is pretty emo.
2. As a fan of an AL team who is always a threat to win a championship, you should embrace the current All-Star format. For one, half of your boys make the squad, so there's at least 1 yankee on the field at all times. Secondly, the NL is a joke and the AL will continue to beat them into the ground and claim homefield.
2. Yeah I just hate having a break from baseball, and it doezn't seem to stand to reason that an exhibition game counts for something. It's like saying whoever has the best record at the end of spring training gets homefield advantage in the LCS. If it's going to count for something, then the fans shouldnt be the ones picking people. Because then it's not a true all star game, its a popularity contest. Which I"m ok with, as long as it doesn't count for anything. But you're right, what do I care, the AL always wins anyway. I jsut hate seeing the Sux playing on the same team as the Yanks. Gross.