"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

a.) Twins fans
b.) ARod through the first 7 innings, since--as Singleton elegantly put--his invitation arrived late to the hit party
c.) Michael Kay, who was notably absent from the booth on a day when the offensive explosion was punctuated by a very healthy serving of warning track grabs. "CONEY! SAY IT! WHY AREN'T YOU SCREAMING WITH UNBRIDLED PASSION OVER THE FLY BALL THAT'S HIGH, FAR...AND CAUGHT! THAT'S IT I'M NEVER TAKING A PERSONAL DAY AGAIN."
d.) Anyone who had the under on the number of times we'd hear "Not a lot to smile about in the Metrodome if you're a Twins fan."
e.) CC, who tries his damndest every start to be as quick and efficient as possible to expedite the post-game "I'm gonna polish off a burger for every inning I threw" meal.

By my calculations, they're all in dead heat.

The Yankees flew out to the Metrodome to tee off on approximately 89 3 Twins' pitchers, who have never looked more intimidated by a line-up. 7 walks. 3-0 counts abounding. Walked in runs. They just look terrified. You can never really underestimate the impact of the mental game. (Baker, Duensing, and Dickey. The trio pitched as fiercely as their names sound. After the game, they grabbed their briefcases and headed to court for a litigation.)

CC was absolutely amazing tonight, after coming off his less than stellar showing against the Jays. He only gave up 3 hits, (one of which was a HR to Cuddyer), and ate up 7 innings much to the relief of the bullpen, who has been pushing the envelope in the last 5 days.

Odd, though, that he only recorded 3Ks. In games where he pitches that many innings, he generally seems to average around 5-6Ks.

Kyle Farnsworth Brett Tomko kept it interesting, giving the Twins another run and a reason for the remaining kids at the Metrodome to convert their caps to rally hats. Tomko could not look shakier on the mound. He could TRY, but he would not be successful. And as such, is now the only pitcher keeping Bruney company in the "are you gonna hold leads or are you gonna give them up? It's your choice" doghouse.

Carlos Gomez's Endy-esque catch to rob ARod of a grand slam was no less severe than the Grinch robbing Cindy Who of the Christmas tree. It was flawless, really. And effortless. Obviously the Yanks didn't need another 4 runs to get the win, but I wish he had gotten the salami mostly because I wanted to hear Singleton say, with a 14-1 lead in the 9th..."And that grand slam by ARod in the 4th is really looming large now, eh David?"

Even more stunning than this insta-Web Gem was the fact that in a game where the Yankees scored 10 runs and had 16 hits, did not go yard once. Which makes it only the 18th game where they didn't add to their league-leading HR count.

The box score looks as gluttonous and rich as One Eyed Willie's lair. It's quite a site. And also quite needed since I'm sure the Yanks are hoping to tee off with wild abandon during their Minny trip, before heading farther west to face their Kryponitic Angels, the only team in the league with a higher BA than the Yanks.

Most notable lines include:

Teixeira: 4-6, 1 run, 1 RBI

Cano: 2-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs

Gardner: 3-5, 2 runs, 3 RBIs

Cervelli: 2-4, 1 run, 2 RBIs

Tomorrow's game pits AJ up against Glen Perkins. (Of all the pitchers on the Twins roster, maybe 3 of them, tops, don't sound like they should be running the IT department at a mid-sized accounting firm.)

If Kay's out again tomorrow, YES is going to have to sign some hired guns, because I got the bends from being jerked out of the depths of Kay-Mania into the sane, mellow announcing world of Singleton and Cone. I kept waiting for the now hilarious inquiries like "So Paul, did you like playing in hot weather?" or "Flash, what about you, is the knuckleballer hard to catch?" And they never came.

So tomorrow the booth may want to ease the transition by throwing in some exagerrated screaming about homeruns that are really groundouts just to make Kay's inevitable return less jarring. Or maybe throw in some word plays, like "The glove is a many splendored thing, indeed!" Or just go for broke and reset the bar by breaking out into synchronized dance for no discernible reason at all.

(Drive of the Game goes to Mike N. for re-introducing Mac & Me into my life! And for following it up by calling attention to the fact the inexplicable football players in above video "look a lot like the NFC East bottom-dwelling Redskins which explains alot." )