"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Last night's game was the function of one of the following:

• One of the boys had a date with Megan Fox with plans to meet for cocktails at 10
• One of the boys had to pick up his dry cleaning
• The whole team wanted to get back to their computers to maximize their All-Star voting entries
• All of the excitement in the last few days meant Mo needed a nap
• The forecast for last night rain and the boys have determined that they're useless in bad weather
• Steinbrenner's surprise party started at 10:30 sharp and no one wanted to be That Guy who showed up around the same time as the Birthday Boy hence ruining the surprise

There's no other way to explain the Wham-Bam-Thank-You-Ma'am, 2 hours and 17 minute Micromachine Man game that was seemed to play out in the time it took me to call my parents and then return my attention to the tv.

I didn't even realize how quickly it was over because I've been watchless for the last few days in light of my previous beirut casualty which is now evolving into a Kodachrome blend of yellow, green, and purple.

And since my phone compensates for my lack of sleep by shutting down after 1 hour of use, I had zero concept of the time until I got home and saw the digital display on the cable box. Wow. That's EXACTLY the way I like the games to be played. Efficient, economically. Somewhere Mike Mussina is brimming with pride.

That said, while I like pretty much like everything in life to be done in the swiftest, most time-saving, exiguous way possible...I'm not wild about winning games the Yankee Way, aka on the long ball. I never have, and maybe I should try to warm up to the idea a little bit because GNH engenders homeruns like subway morning commutes engender misanthropy. And it's inevitable that going yard is going to be even more of a mainstay than ever in this club.

But their offense has been slightly inconsistent for the last 2-3 weeks, and it would have been refreshing to see a nice little game won off manufactured runs. I hate myself for even complaining right now, since the sight of ARod's 2-run shot WITH THE GAME TIED, FOR THE SECOND DAY IN A ROW gave me goosebumps.

I remember reading in a SportsGuy mailbag once:

Q: What was [Terry] Francona thinking on Monday night? How can you pitch to Mr. March in an eight-run game? Doesn't he know that A-Job bats like .900 in six-to-10 run games? You HAVE to walk him in that situation.
-- Chris, Cincinnati

I hope Chris from Cincinnati was watching for the last few games. And everyone else who's defined themselves by their firm opposition to ARod and their hollow accusations of his "un-clutch" nature. I've covered this issue ad nauseum, the idea of where anyone got the idea that A-Rod is the epitome of choker. So it never ceases to exhilarate me and feel a degree of vicarious victory when I see A-Rod blow this idea out of the water when he sends the ball outta the park. Well played, Alex. Well played. PS: We miss you at third. Come back soon, please. Cody Ransom plays as well as you might expect someone named Cody Ransom to play.

Pettite pitched brilliantly, and demonstrated the prettiest pick-off skills in the game. The pitching was so outstanding yesterday, it was a treat to witness. Not only did Pettite manage to keep Ichiro and Branyan hitless (???) but the relief efforts were outstanding as well:

Alfredo Aceves and Phil Coke combined for a perfect eighth. Rivera worked a 1-2-3 ninth for his 20th save in 21 chances this season.

I was admittedly shocked when the displayed Coke's stats. I had been lumping him in the with the Sean Henns but, geez. Samsonite! I was WAY off! Clearly my preoccupation with Joba in the rotation (ROARRRR) has blinded me to the talent prevailing in the Phil-pen. (Yup. Phil-pen.)

Aceves came in for a cup of coffee, did his job, and then Girardi brought in Coke, then Mo, who combined for a neat little late innings wrap-up. I'm wondering if Girardi thinks running the club must be governed by the same rules as running a fantasy team. He knows there's no minimum-innings pitched requirement, right? Like he doesn't HAVE to use every single relief pitcher over the course of the week? Just checking. I didn't mind his strategy last night, but the pulling Hughes in the game prior has still left a pretty bad taste in my mouth.

Next up: tonight's game with CC starting--awesome.--and the Yanks go for the Sweep. The Sux unfortunately eeked out an 11-inning win over the O's yesterday. Maybe the O's are Boston's version what TB was to the Yanks a few years ago. It's always the, umm, offensively challenged teams that manage to give both NY and Boston the most grief. Kind of like being at a bar when it's always the seemingly innocuous people who end up souring the night, not the ostentatious drunk ones.