"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Sweep dreams are made of these...

Cuz I'm a SWEEP, I'm a weirdo...

While my guitar gently sweeps....

The best things in life are sweep...

Sweeping out to Boston...

So, I get my to my apartment and open up ESPN to see this on the homepage, and things start to make more sense. When the game ended, one of the guys who I'm watching the game with says, "Wow, that's like the first time they've swept Boston in like 30 years."

And I was flabbergasted. Are you serious?? You're a Yankee fan, who can forget 2006 Boston Massacre?? He was so adamant and confident about it, I was just inordinately bewildered. I felt like Josh Waitkitz in "The Search for Bobby Fischer" when he offers the boy the draw.

But I see what happened now. ESPN must have flashed this stat across the screen at some point, in the most classic ESPN fashion, and superfan99 must have made the mistake of actually putting an ounce of stock in anything that comes out of the mouths of a network who is championing a blatantly lying steroid user.

So I win! Terrific!

Speaking of winning, the Yankees just swept Boston, extending the distance to 6.5 games and kicking the Sox out of the Bronx with a nice serving of retribution.

After Friday's game, I argued/joked that the Yankees are trying to run the gamut of ways to demoralize the Sox. First with a flat out offensive slaying. Then a drawn out Chinese water torture stomach punch. And the next way to go would be a come-from-behind win. Check that one off the list.

(My coworker Sean who I watched the game with tonight countered, "Too bad Saturday's game wasn't a perfect game, then they really would have been thorough." Good knowledge.

Lester and Pettitte dualed for 6 innings, until ARod--being ARod--put the Yanks ahead with a solo bomb. (I feel like it's that scene in Dumb and Dumber when Harry and Lloyd redirect the Hawaiian Tropic bus to town, and Lloyd says, "Man, 2 lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls for the next couple of months," and Harry responds, "Don't worry, we'll catch our break. Just need to keep our eyes open." Except it's like, "Don't worry, one of these days, ARod will do something clutch. Just need to be patient and wait it out...")

The V-Mart puts Boston in the lead with a 2-run blast. But it's only the 8th inning, and I'm pretty sure the Yanks eat pieces of 8th inning comebacks for breakfast. And they called on the help of the ghosts, or maybe just the help of the 0-1 punch of Damon/Tex. (Since Tex/Arod= 1-2 punch..?)

I was admittedly shocked to learn that this was the 6th time those 2 went back to back with dings this years. 6 back-to-back dings is a lot period, let alone from one pair. I still don't know if this is really accurate. When it comes to ESPN broadcasts, their stats have about as much credibility as the Snapple bottle cap facts.

So, you know who looked the shakiest out of everyone tonight? Terry Francona. Even though he's from enemy territory, he's always seemed to me to be one of the best managers because he just seems to "get it." He reminded me a little of Torre, only more identifiable. But lately, gradually, little by little, he seems to be unraveling. He's looking frantic and desperate and rash. He's impulsive and rattled. He's starting to subscribe to habits that are in direct opposition to his most effective and compelling characteristics.

But I suppose the argument could be made that tonight the game was lost because NY beat up Boston's bullpens.They waited patiently for the undeniably classy and talent Lester to make a mistake, capitalized on it, then waited a little while more before the powerful arm was taken out of the equation. Then they pounced. Like preying guys at a bar waiting for a chick's ugly men-hating friend to leave for just a minute. And then it's open season to throw out their best game with no opposition.

Ortiz came in to pinch hit in the 9th and Mo almost seemed to be pitching around the .188 batter. I guess I can see the trepidation, Ortiz hasn't been kind to my beloved closer. But this is a shell of Ortiz's former self, and I was reallllly hoping for a 3-pitch strikeout, a la Manny last year but I'm ok with the ultimate outcome of the game. More than ok, really.

There were the inevitable questions among me and my buddies around why Girardi brought in Coke instead of Hughes in a 1-0 game. And, like Friday night, if they had ended up losing this game, the Hughes Boos would have been abounding like wild fire. But since they ended up pulling this one off, I think any quizzical reactions to Coke over Hughes will ultimately be eclipsed by the fact we swept the Red Sox, and swept them convincingly.

Regarding the announcing stylings of this game...well, suffice to say that tequila and ipecac have just been replaced in the Top 5 List of Things That I Can Reliably Turn to In Straits Requiring Inducing Vomit.

First of all, the better part of the first 2 hours of the game offered up about 20 minutes of on-field action and over an hour of a weird angular shot from above, of the ESPN booth chatting away about nothing in particular. And the reason I'm so vague about the topics of their talks is because I couldn't understand word one of what they were saying. It honestly could have been in another language, because all I heard was this.

And seriously, is there anything to do about the raging bias here?? Jon Miller at the end of the 8th deadpans, "And we finally get out of this inning." If Kay had said it, it would have been more in a "And you can get out of the mud when you lease a Jeep Grand Cherokee..!" aka some kind of segue into commercials. Jon Miller's intonation was so heavy with tired relief yet annoyance, that he sounded like he just got liberated from his girlfriend's best friend's bridal shower or something.

Tomorrow (today, I guess, since it's 3:20am. Jesus.), they go up agains the Jays against, another Mitre vs Alphabet matchup, and I swear I don't know which pitcher scares me more. But MItre better be dealing tomorrow. The Yanks shuffled around and crunched the numbers and jumped through hoops to avoid him getting involved in the Sox series (must be a HUGE confidence boost for him), so if he doesn't show up tomorrow, he's going to be all Private Pyled out again.

Speaking of showing up tomorrow, while I could easily dissect every last second of this unduly satisfying baseball weekend, it turns out that like Mitre, I kind of need to show up to work tomorrow, so this seems like a good time to get the ball rolling on the getting to bed process.

Oh! And lastly, I'm thinking of selling my Yankee Stadium painting and donating $ to charity. If I'm painting my bedroom to have both stadiums on the walls, I think I've reached maximum capacity of stadium art. So if anyone has any idea of how I go about this, or suggestions of Yankee related organization, let me know. I'll post a pic up tomorrow when I have a couple more faculties about me, like enough alertness to figure out how to get involved with a USB cord, anyway.

One equal-temper of heroic hearts,
Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will
To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.
--Tennyson, Ulysses

Congrats on the sweep, Yankees. I'm impressed and awed and proud and pretty f'n fired up about it. No one relented, that was my favorite part.

Please keep doing that same stuff. My dad used to say, "Never look back, or they'll gain on you." Also, don't look back, because someone could be walking in the opposite direction and you could crash. Head rovers are almost as bad as slow walkers in my book.