Blogger Template by Blogcrowds .

Good morning, NYC!

(Taken with my cell on my roof at about 7am this morning, having not gone to bed yet. I don't know why I made this decision. The decision about bed, not the picture taking, I mean.)

Finally the weekend, one which I will spend assembling furniture and watching baseball. I'm going to make someone a great husband some day, it would appear.

But first:

Yesterday my sister's over and telling me how much I'd love her intern because he's crazy like me. (This is why I don't let anyone set me up ever. Apparently, the only prereqs for compatibility are total lunacy and an interest in baseball.) And she's telling me about some rant he went on about ESPN and their take on the Youk brawl.

"The story title at bottom of the screen was like Larry King level of ridiculous. Something really technical about how Youk didn't do anything illegal. I don't know, you're the writer. Name some technical words, it'll come to me. Make suggestions."

[As if I don't have to deal with ambiguous direction enough at work ("Can you make the gazebo in this layout look more...scientific?")...]

So despite her *lucid* expository, I had no idea what the f she was talking about and hence couldn't really offer up much in the way of memory joggers.

But I never met a mindless-internet-search-that-borders-on-chasing-windmills-and-is-really-a-glorified-form-of-avoiding-actual-work, that I didn't accept. And THEN, at 12:40pm on Thursday, Buster Olney gave me answers.

The whole concept of "rules of war" always baffles me. Like "unnecessary roughness" in football. Technically it's all "unnecessary." But if you make the decision to participate in the sport, isn't there some kind of contract that waives your right to standard assault-type complaints?

I went to go see Seinfeld do standup once, and he was talking about some war going on (I really have my finger on the pulse of current events), and was saying how there are these jet planes that are flying over whatever country we're at war at (I know, I know, don't judge- I don't have time to keep up on news during baseball season or other 7 months of the year for that matter), and these planes are dropping boxed meals for the country's inhabitants. OR they're dropping bombs. They're dropping both, and so, as Seinfeld observed, "The people in [country at war with] have some tough decisions to make if they see something flying out the sky..."

So this is what I mean. I just don't get it. If we're going to be involved in a contest, whether it's war or baseball or anything else that has 2 competiting opponents, then we should forfeit our right to mollified aggression. You're gonna get plunked with 100 mph fastballs sometimes. I don't necessarily find it ethical or right or fair sportsmanship. But that's the way it is. And you can't get all pissy when it happens, and I certainly don't understand the vague (at best) rules delineating "proper retaliation."

There is absolutely no rhyme or reason to who gets suspended, who gets criticized, who's withing the boundaries of said code, etc. So wouldn't it be easier to just make it a black and white issue?

My coworker was telling me how he was watching the MLB network, and they were showing "a game in the 80s between the Brewers and Royals." (He must have revised his recollection of what the 2 teams were about 98 times before conceding he had no idea who they were.) But, as previously noted, I am an expert at uncovering the specifics in data-less stories.

And of course, I did. A Classic. Padres/Braves in a game that took place almost exactly 25 years ago to the day.

By its merciful conclusion, 13 players and coaches from both teams had been ejected and five fans had been arrested.

Seems kinda funny today that one misplaced pitch from the Bernard Pollard of the MLB, and Youkilis acts like our boy hurled a flaming bag of dog shit at his head, and not a mild 2-seamer.

I love how the "CODE OF PROPER RETALIATION" was presumably set in place to temper occasions like this game, but sweet Christ. Grow a pair. And if you're not gonna do that, then at least shed your gross hypocrisies. If you don't want to deal with getting beaned, don't take your turn at the plate.

And if you're going to become a self-professed crusader against up-and-in pitches, then remember your position. You can't whine like a juiced up PMSing bitch, then 2 weeks later rejoin the Circus of Idiots mentality the Red Sox have worked so hard to cultivate.

Other notes on this terrific Friday morning:

  • The same coworker who told me about the nameless fight game he saw told me he played against Manny in high school ball. "He was nothing like he is now. Real, real quiet guy. Probably because he couldn't speak English." Which means that there's some ESL high school teacher out there who has to live with himself, who has to look himself in the mirror every morning knowing that he's responsible for giving Manny Ramirez the ability to "communicate."

  • Last night my buddy Steve comes into town. He's my first Boston friend, as evidenced by the fact I know him as "Boston," as original as one of the first generation AOL users who don't even need numbers after their screen name. And he calls and says he's out drinking with his buddy who I have to meet because he's such a die hard Yankee fan.

    When I finally get outta work at 11:30, I go to catch the final few innings with Boston and his friend Billy. Then at a commercial break, Billy says, "Oh, Brady's back." And I mutter something that rhymes with clucking wussy. To which Billy calmly responds that he thew for 2 TDs today and is going to break every season record this year. I'm not even really paying attention to any of this blather because I don't even know where it's coming from, really.

    Til the blather keeps going when the Yankee game comes back on, and then it's annoying. "I'm sorry, are you a Patriots fan or something?"

    "BIG ONE!"

    I glared at Boston. "Well, he's a Yankee fan! I didn't think he'd be talking about football, I thought it'd be safe."

    (See, again, this is why you never let someone convince to meet their friend. When the only mitigating factors are "crazy" and "sports fan" you're going to end up having to spend an hour of your Thursday night fielding inane raving from people like Yankee fan/Pats fan Billy.)

    I bring this up because there was one thing significant about this brief kicking it with Boston and his buddy: Billy said something just bulleted into a tie position with this as the dumbest thing ever uttered, which is something I never thought I'd see in my lifetime:

    "You know, Brady was never actually hurt."
    "Oh, no?"
    "No. Never got hurt. It was a conspiracy."
    "Oh dear God."
    "Yup. Whole league was in on it, too. Everyone. Belichik made a deal that if Brady sat for the season, SpyGate would go away. You think Brady actually was hurt that whole time? Pshh. No way. Whole thing was a scam."
    "So you're saying Belichik traded in his much anticipated shot at redemption after his disappointing 2008 season, sanctioned Brady being sidelined for 100% of the year, just to make SpyGate 'go away' when it was all but gone by that point?"
    "The Super Bowl was the same thing."
    "Excuse me."
    "You think Brady would lose to Eli? Nah. Alllll a set up, to lay the groundwork for the fake ACL injury on opening day."

    He actually believed this, too. I'm not even kidding. It was so wildly illogical and head-spinning that it almost felt like he was reading off an NFL Madlibs notebook or something.

    So congrats, previous monarch of inane Brady theory. You've been dethroned by a new reigning beast of illogical Boston nonsense.

So...that's what I got so far this morning.

To quote our boy Jim Mora: "That's what it all boils down to."


  1. Matt said...
    Damned if old Pascual doesn't look just like 1970s Miles Davis at about the 2:30 mark.

    Good to see Graig Nettles sporting Phil Hughes' haircut @ 2:20.

    Lots of other old Yankees in this clip too: Chambliss, Watson, Torre, the immortal Ed Whitson, former coach Champ Summers, former Steinbrenner advisor and nudity enthusiast Dick Williams, Jerry Royster
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Ha, right??

    The whole clip is a complete exercise in shit-show-hoodedness. it'd be like if someone cross breeded our boy Latarian Milton with the 86 Mets and a hockey team.

    And threw in some classic Yankee alums for good measure.
    The A-Train said...
    Never underestimate the power of the PT Barnum School of Marketing.

    The bigger the lie, the more likely people are to believe it.
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Or the MA Boston School of Thought:

    The bigger the defeat, the more ridiculous a rationalization.

    The idea that someone is convinced an entire league was in cahoots, (not to mention an entire web of healthcare professionals), and that Belichik would actually consent to be separated from his love child for a year... well, words failed me. My mouth must have looked like the entrance to the lincoln tunnel when he told me this.
    Anonymous said...
    When you consider that it was quite possibly the greatest moment any sports fan could ever experience, being on the other side of it has to be devastating. It may require that ridiculous explanation just to get through the day.
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    No it seriously was. As in I may never again experience the unbridled ecstasy that defined February 3, 2008. I celebrated the 1 year anniversary of it last year, and I just can't imagine anything being more amazing than that day.

    Sigh. ALmost bittersweet, really.

    "That's why I hate bittersweet chocolate. I don't even-- What's the point of that? Why not just sweet? I mean who- who are you helping?"
    Anonymous said...
    I think about that day all the time. To this day, I still sit with Giants fans and say, "We won the Super Bowl!". Everyone makes everything better. It actually helped me get through last year's awful baseball season. I just kept saying, "At least we won the Super Bowl". I think I may even have to take some responsibility for what happened to the Yankees. I had been saying for a couple of years that I would give up a Yankee season for a Giants Super Bowl.

    The day after the Super Bowl I think I spent about $300 in Super Bowl merchandise. The parade was incredible.

    I agree. There will never be a better sports day than that day. That may sound sad, but so few people have ever experienced a moment like that one. Hell, beating Dallas and Green Bay were some of the best things that ever happpened also! The night they beat Green Bay was one of the best nights of my life. I just kept yelling, "Super Bowl!", over and over. I vowed to enjoy the next two weeks and I never seriously considered beating the Patriots. I just enjoyed every last second of those two weeks. At least until about a half hour before kick off and then it all hit me. Watching that game was actually painful. I felt sick. It just all hit me at once. It is actually on dvd. My Aunt recorded us watching the of the best memories I will have.

    I obviously could go on and on, and I enjoy doing so!

Post a Comment

Newer Post Older Post Home