"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Yankees beat the Mariners a day after Ichiro “Cinco-Uno” Suzuki killed us with his long ball walk off. And as I expected, they teed off on Doug “I have a couple ideas about why I’m not married” Fister, tagging him for 6 runs in 9 hits over 4 innings.

Basically Fister is good for one thing and that is my amusement. I think the kid’s really gonna have to consider pulling a Joba and inventing pitches to put in his arsenal because a muted pair of pitches isn’t gonna scare anyone. I don’t think his “sinking fastball” would scare my cat.

What DID scare me, my cat, and probably every Yankee fan watching the game, was the terrifying, heart-stopping, color-draining-from-your-face blow that went down in the 5th. The Yanks are cruising along 6-0, in the wake of Tex’s 3-run ding in the 4th. Then Franklin Gutierrez made time stop by lining drilling a bullet right back into CC.

It all happened in a nanosecond, and I’m not kidding when I say the season flashed before me. You spend enough time as a fan, and you see your share of teams disintegrating at the hands of one player’s ill fate.

Jeter, ARod, Girardi, and the trainer were at their ace’s side almost instantly, and you could see Fatso casually shrugging it off and nodding like a bobble head doll with many rubbery neck rolls, that he’s fine, no big. Whatev.

Next pitch: 96 mph fastball.

He let up one run that inning, when Gutierrez scored on an Arod error. And that was the last time a Mariner would cross homeplate that night.

Then: 2 more scoreless innings, retires last 7 batters he faces, finishes with 8Ks.

He predicted a “big bruise” which is about on par with the “Princess and the Pea” getting bruised with pea 10 mattresses below her.

God bless ya, you big animal. I think you’ve finally made me a believer in the “fat is beautiful” school of thought.

(I'm sorry, but CC Sabathia's "build," per se, will get old for me around the same time that beirut, "that's what she said," and this video do. He's really less of a major league pitcher and more of a cartoon. And as such, really should be getting some kind of sound effects when he's taking the mound.)

The Yanks defense was just as stunning as their starter’s. They look good. They know what they’re doing, and they’re not giving anything up. Cano made a play in the bottom of the 7th to grab a sizzling grounder up the middle. Excellent fielding position to even enable him to make the backhanded snag, and even more outstanding zipped toss across his body to first. The next play, Jeter did the exact same thing on the opposite side of the field.

Yeah, no range on that SS. Overrated big time. If only he could be more like Dustin Pedroia.

Tex proves once against that he’s the greatest 1B since sliced bread.

So, so close to hitting for the cycle for the 2nd time in his career. But he’s so good that when he needed a double, all he could come up with was a long ball. And the Yankees are so awesome that when he came back to the dugout after going yard for the 2nd time in the game, they were all yelling, “OVERACHIEVER!!” which is endearing and adorable on many levels. Could this be the “I guess the Yankees are human after all” moment? I think I wanna save it.

Hideki's the man who broke out of the tie with his blast in the 4th. Said shot hasn't landed yet.

As a team, they were HAND OVER FIST more patient at the plate tonight, seeing 164 pitches compared the 104 they saw last night. Mercifully, Jose Molina was out of the lineup in favor of Francisco Cervelli who’s really, really good.

But more than his sharp bat, I like the kid’s instincts behind the plate. He’s extremely quick and he is fantastic at selling pitches. He’s not moving in on Posada any time soon, but I really like having the Ital in our system. And it was nice having someone behind the plate tonight who didn’t think calling 2 straight fastballs in a row in the 9th with 2 outs, was a good idea.

Relief efforts were up to snuff. Bruney was all excited about his new #99 jersey, which looks ridiculous on him. Jonathan Abadlasjdoaks [sic] got the save, and the Yanks try to win the series tomorrow.

Their AL lead stays at 6, their magic number stays at 10. But the number to clinch a playoff spot in 2. So technically the Yanks could get it tomorrow, but that’s really immaterial, since the goal is not to just get in, it’s to get in with the best positioning possible. And for the Yankees, more so than ever, that means locking up Home Field Advantage.

Sunday afternoon game, neatly situated right before Gmen take on the Boys. I have a feeling Sunday is going to be no more relaxing than Saturday. In a good way.