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"It's not Yankee baseball. It's not what we've done all year." --Girardi

So the Yankees lose 14-8. I see approximately 0% of this on a day that can be easily termed one of the most aggravating in recent memory. That said, it may or may not have been a good thing that I missed it?

I can't handle, in any socially acceptable way, indecision when it comes to leaving. For example, when we're all out at a bar, and someone decides he's got a friend of a friend somewhere on the opposite side of town, so we all mobilize out of the bar, and then we stand around listlessly for an indefinite period of time.

Now take that feeling, and multiply it by 80. And then imagine feeling like that for 15 straight hours. From the second I got into my parents' town, it was like I was being attacked by indecisive slow walkers.
From getting summoned by my sister to a bar that's literally so crowded the fire marshall had to be called, to later being exiled from the couch 20 minutes into watching my On Demand movie, because her boy needs somewhere to sleep, I was getting increasingly aggravated with my decision to leave the safe confines of NYC.

Today it's more of the same, as I'm mired in what my dad terms "the church of what's happening now" which is an expression he's coined to refer to the practice of a bunch of people standing around, shrugging, not knowing what's going on, or what the plan is, etc. FOR HOURS.

And now, the Yankees have lost 14-8. The only reason I even have a modicum of a sense of what went on during the game is thanks to Kevin, who texts me. "Mitre. Enough said." (Follows it up with "Not worth the update. It's a stinkfest. Yanks went from 5-4 top of the 5th and gave up 8 in the bottom.")

I respond explaining my situation and begging for good news. He writes back that he ate a sandwich and it 'was good, yo!'
I am happy for Kevin and his sandwich. But about little else.

It was, however, an otherwise fantastic weekend. And I got tomorrow to look forward to, where I may actually get to live the life of uninterrupted relaxation that I was so looking forward to. I have zero idea what the line "Most men lead lives of quiet desperation" means. But I want to know where these men are that actually experience quiet.

And here's the game:

  • Randy Ruiz had to leave the game in the 5th "after being struck in the face with a pitch.'
  • Melky homers in the 7th to bring in 3 runs, and I bet he felt like Corporal Downs in the end of "A Few Good Men" when him and Dawson hear their sentence of dishonorable discharge. "But Dawson, we didn't do anything wrong!" And Melky's all confused because all he knows is that if he hits a clutch bomb, they win. Not this time, buddy...
  • I've waited a respectable amount of time before I brought this up: 4 $%@*-ING ERRORS. (Why did that just automatically hyperlink? It's the type of day where stuff like that will infuriate me. You know why? Because the Yankees had 4 goddman errors. I think I just killed someone and didn't skip a beat.)
  • 318 pitches thrown. I'm gonna be sick.
  • My dad's prediction of the Yankees scoring 12 runs didn't come true. I'm trying to see if he was even close in any sense. They had 13 hits? That's close. And let up 11 earned runs? So maybe he just average the 2.
  • 4 unearned runs. I can't wrap my head around this. At all. From 4 different people: Hairston (GET A BEAD ON THE FREAKING BALL, DUMB ASS.) Tex, (It's ok. You're Mark Teixeira.), Cano (getting old, buddy), and Pena (pick up the pace, small fry).
  • Derek Jeter had 3 hits, making him 3 shy of breaking Gehrig's record. What I wouldn't give to be at that game tomorrow...something tells me he'll take care of a business a little more efficiently than ARod when he had to get over the 499 HR hump.
  • From ESPN: "Sergio Mitre allowed 11 runs, the most allowed by a Yankees starter since David Wells allowed 11 in 1997. Every Blue Jays' starter had a hit except Adam Lind. Every Blue Jays' starter had an RBI except Marco Scutaro." Which kills me because of course, OF COURSE, those are the 2 Jays enrolled on my fantasy rosters. Scutaro is on a team that clinched a playoff-free September about 2 months ago, but Lind is on my work league's team, and I'm disappointed in him, but not as disappointed as I am in myself for who I decided to bench today:

  • Joshua Towers? When did this happen? Why do the Yankees have a penchant for guys who haven't pitched a major league game since the Reagan administration? Our boy Towers pitched for the first time in 2 years. You know what skill isn't "like riding a bike"? Professional pitching. And you know what you get when you mix the letters in his name? "Josh: Our Waste."
  • Mark Melancon walked in a run AGAIN. Does he get that that's not preferred practice? He hands over to game to Towers after letting up an RBI to Vernon Wells and a bases-loaded walk to Encarnacion. Towers shows up to keep the disgusting display going, but beaing Ruiz in the face, for the final run. Somehow, it seems fitting.
  • Swish went yard then messed up a fly ball, because he hasn't done that in a little while, so why not.
  • Melky went yard, then but not before he collided with Damon in an outfield play. I'm going to pass out from contempt right now.

At the risk of losing any optimistic outlook for the holiday weekend, I'll wrap this up. Hope for the best tomorrow. If nothing else, hope I don't get stuck behind a slow walker, because I'm liable to drop kick them.


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