"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

CC actually didn't pitch his best game, but the offense got his extra large back, by posting a season high 15 hits. This is awesome. The not awesome part was that the fact the Yanks were teeing off all over the field meant a gratuitous amount of camera time capturing the glaring emptiness of the stadium. I honestly don't know why this bothered me so much.

Round Boy gave up three runs, 11 hits and two walks in 7 2/3 innings. Kinda shaky, but fortunately Gurthrie outdid him, letting up 7 runs, 6 hits, in only 4 2/3 innings. What he had to say after the game is basically hilarious:

"Let me start by saying I'm embarrassed by the way the game started, I was embarrassed by the way the game finished," Guthrie said. "I'm embarrassed that we had to run the bullpen out there for 4 1/3 innings because I was unable to keep the pitch count down and get people out. I'm apologetic to fans who pay to come and watch the Orioles and watch us lose, in this case, because of me. I'm apologetic to my teammates for the inability to help them win a game in five starts."

Sweet Christ. Relax. You sound like a politician apologizing to the country for immoral transgressions. Or you sound like you've been taking your public speaking classes from Jim Mora.




That's what it all boiled down to.

Cano continued to be a beast at the plate, delighting me for its fantasy implications, yet at the same time generating concern over if/when/by whom the steroid accusations will start entering the fray. He homered in the 3rd to make it 6-0, and finished the day 2-5, with a ribbie and a run.

The best part is, Cano wasn't even the best part. The output from the Yankees lineup looked like a laundry list of worthy Player of the Game candidates:
I can't really tell if playing the Yanks is making the O's look better, or the Yanks look worse. Maybe both. But for a team that's been the undisputed laughing stock of the league, they really didn't look all that bad.

Markakis has an explosive night, which leads me to believe that I in all likelihood benched him with the reasoning that he'd be useless against the likes of The Cholesterol King on the mound. Tejada was nothing to sneeze at either. The two combined to go 5 for 8 on the night.

That said, I'll say that if it wasn't after 3am, I'd do some internet research on the origins of "nothing to sneeze at," because as I finished typing that, I realized that it seems odd that at some point in history, sneezing at something was a gesture of insignificance.

"Wanna give me Matt Kemp for Luis Castillo?"
"ACHOOOOO... Hm. Does THAT answer your question, bitch?"

Joba and Mitre filled out the rest of the game, after CC has engorged himself on a 111-pitch count. The two threw up a bunch of zeros, striking out none, walking none, letting up none runs. However, as neatly as these two stayed under the radar, their seemingly innocuous outing actually sort of pushed The Trade Heard Round the World* even further ABOVE the radar.

"Of COURSE, OF COURSE, Mo has not pitched a single inning since you handed him over. Don't they usually like put him in for non-save situations if he hasn't pitched in a while? Just to keep him warm?"

It's a stressful life, the one of a fantasy league manager.

Outside of Johnny Repentence-to-awkward-levels McGee, the O's pitching wasn't all bad. I mean, between 4 of 'em, they let up only 1 run on 9 hits.

But it was the O's final hurler that really was able to put into (a) word without saying a word, the overarching sentiment casting a shade over not only Baltimore, but even the surrounding areas, after last night.

As a final note, I think I'd be remiss in not touching upon these topics:

1.) Lou Piniella could NOT be any more insane/more outstanding. He could TRY. But he would not be successful.

2.)The sequence of plays in Baseball Tonight's top 10 was confusing. In the #3 spot, there's A-Rod making one of the most routine bare-handed groundouts ever to exist. I mean, I know the guy just makes everything look so easy and that's thebeauty of it all, but if I'm watching Baseball Tonight, it's a safe assumption I don't want to have to think. I like palpable awe. Anyways, then in a spot below this, there's this play.

Unreal. So yeah, I'm not sure who was in charge of the Top 10 tonight, but the ordering seemed more off-base and weirder than Os' fans entertaining for even a second the possibility of sweeping the Yankees. C'mon now. Don't be a doofus, Birds. KNOW YOUR ROLE.

I will not be sad to see this series end. It's too depressing watching them play a team like that in front of a "crowd" like that. It's like that bizarro county in the movie "Nothing But Trouble."

Finish 'em off tomorrow, and get back home!!!


*My sister and I traded Mariano Rivera and Carl Crawford. I'm not sure that I've ever heard a transaction in a fantasy league more hotly contested in my life.