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You want to know something weird? I called the outcome of this game, and I don't just mean the Yanks winning. But before the game even started, I said the Yanks are going to win 3-1. As are more of my weirdly specific predictions, this one had absolutely nothing to do with considerations of pitching matchups, offensive production, etc.

But rather, based on my obsession with coincidental number patterns.

Game 1 score: 9-7
Game 2 score: 6-4
Game 3 score: 3-1

2 run differential.
Subtract 1 run from the losing score of the previous game and that's the winning score of the next game.

Of course, all of this is completely irrelevant, but I'm just saying.

Anyways. So there you go. The Yanks bounce back from the opening day loss and win the next 2 to take the first series of 2010.

And they looked great doing it.

They hit off pitchers who historically have baffled them, which was delightful.

Andy Pettitte was brilliant, allowing 1 run in 6 innings, despite being mauled by Ellsbury in the 1st inning. Ellsbury was safe and Pettitte was groggy."I got a little whiplash or something in my neck," he said. "I was in survival mode there for the first couple of innings, that's for sure, but after that I felt like I settled in pretty good."

Pretty good? Yeah, I'd say so, old man. I've said it before, I'm always concerned that Pettitte is going to one day remember how old he is and turn into Chet Stedman or something. But maybe it's me who's forgetting...forgetting that Pettitte is here for a reason and that's not just because he has "How can we release him, he's a classic!" Bernie-Williams-esque status. It's because he is one of the greatest clutch pitchers I know, a reality that we often overlook because of his aversion to fireworks and glamour.

David Ortiz shed the monkey on his back (ha) by driving in Pedroia in the first inning, which would be the first and last time the Sux saw the light of home plate. Please. The guy used to be a crushing monster. Now everyone's falling over themselves over one chincy little ribbie? Mark my words, Ortiz is going to find a way to embarrass himself even more this year than he did last year.

Yesterday, he gave us this hilarious outburst:

You guys wait 'til [expletive] happens, then you can talk [expletive]. Two [expletive] games, and already you [expletives] are going crazy.

What's up with that, man? [Expletive]. [Expletive] 160 games left. That's a [expletive]. One of you [expletives] got to go ahead and hit for me.

Ha. In his defense, (vomit), it IS only a few games in. But slow your roll, big guy. YOU know that it's ridiculous for fans and press to jump all over you for a "slow" start, so why the ire? I would think you'd just kind of laugh it off, chalk it up to the overreacting hype of early season loonies. But since you decided to go off the deep end and throw out the Derek Jeter rule book of Appropriate Answers to Reporters Queries.

And for that, I'm going to laugh at you a lot. Also, I can tell you're already nervous about a repeat season of Sucking, otherwise you wouldn't act like such a homicidal maniac. CHEERS TO 2010, ASSCLOWN!

Then there's Curtis Granderson, a guy I pouted about coming here, who I whined about his BA against lefties, and questioned his ultimate utility.

Based on this week, I was more off-base than Othello.

Grandy has been outstanding in the outfield, but this is no surprise, but did anyone expect him to burst into pinstripes the way he has? His blast off Papelschmuck in the 10th put us in the lead, and also makes him the ONLY player to have hit more than 1 homerun against him in his career. Interesting.

My sis and I both agreed that Crapelbon's "intimidating" lip pursing has discernibly muted into some kind of mouth half open awkwardness, not unlike the way my cat looks when he looks up mid-preening and his mouth is weirdly ajar, his tongue half flopping out, his legs all awry. Except when my cat does it, it's awesome because it's Mariano Rivera. When Pap does it, it mean we're about to blow the game open.

My sister: "I wonder what his pitching stats are in the 2nd inning."
Me: ...confusion... "Probably pretty good, all 0's. Wacko."
My sister: "UGH, no I mean like when he comes in for a second inning of work. He's terrible. Just another reason why no one in their right mind should EVER put his name and Mo's in the same breath."

Our relievers were fantastic, although I'll admit I was fiercely hiding my eyes when Chan Ho was pitching in the bottom of the 9th. Whiffing Papi was HUGE, and impressive, and I'd like to offer this public apology for doubting you, Park.

In terms of the hitting, I was saying to my buddy Keith that the score doesn't fully convey what the slugging looked like on our end. One shot after another roped to the outfield, everyone seeming to hit on the buttons. Beautiful swings. Kevin Long is a god. And Nick Swisher aka "The Count"on account of his uncanny ability to make pitch counts balloon, has been supplementing his OBP with sharp hitting, including a HUGE 2-out ribbie to tie the game.

What are the stats on how many doubles Posada has hit against the Sux? Seeing him get on base in big moments against Boston is on par with seeing people tee off on Papelbon. I know how demoralizing it is for Sux fans, and that makes me happy.

Great way to start off the season, Yanks. A surprising blast out of the gates for a team who usually waits til May to galvanize. But the chemistry and tightness of your game that was at pinnacles in 2009 is presenting itself now like the off-season never even happened.

Without even breaking a sweat or skipping a beat.


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