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Well, this was probably more of a field day for sports media than a perfect game. Seriously, this year in baseball has basically just been the gods handing over filet mignons talking heads. Or, as a more apropos albeit trite analogy, they've been lobbing in softballs.

Jaime Moyer tonight became the oldest pitcher to beat the Yankees. Does it get any better than that for the average sports fan or Yankee hater (which, to be honest, are 9 out of 10 times 2 synonymous terms)?

As I mentioned in yesterday's recap, Jaime Moyer has been the reliable replacement for Julio Franco, whose name rolled off announcers' tongue with glee with every AB. My sister and I always followed up every "The oldest current player" by noting, "who looks every bit his age."

That's the best part about these little moments of marveling. Everyone acts like these dinosaurs are like these ageless immortals who drank the potion in "Death Becomes Her."

But, yeah, not so much. They look older than they are, actually, perhaps by sheer juxtaposition to the fetuses throwing 14K games and banking salamis in their first AB.

And yet sometimes, they have these Kenny Rogers esque moments, and best the Yankees. And everyone cheers and delights in the same rush of youthful effervescence as when a rookie hits a walkoff.

Prior to tonight, Moyer had his all-time career worst outing, a red letter game against the Sux when he let up 9 runs in a RELIEF APPEARANCE (HA! I forgot this was a start! I just remember him only recording 3 outs and the part of my brain responsible for game analysis recalled this as a relief outing! Wow), a game that brought him within striking distance of a less auspicious record: the most HRs let up by any one pitcher.

He's currently 1 short of the record (504). We're all pulling for you, big guy.

I mean that literally, I suppose.

Anyways, the Yanks lose to Old Man Dinger, and while I didn't catch this one live on account of being stuck in office, I did watch parts of the Encore presentation, and it really wasn't that bad. I don't like to blame any one player normally, but in this case, it's towards a positive conclusion.

If it wasn't for AJ, we win this one. I know, that's like saying, "If it weren't for the alcohol, I'm sober." But I mean in the sense that Moyer didn't completely blank us. 5Ks is nothing, and he did let up 2 homeruns (to the obvious suspects, of course. Jorge "You wanna DH me, m'f'er? BE MY GUEST" Posada, and Robinson "I think I may be hitting my stride, kind of" Cano.)

Arod came back home and knocked in a ribbie double. I'm starting to think the Yankee DL is like some kind of hedonistic spa or something, since (knockonwoodknockonwoodknockonwood) the guys just seem to sidestep that whole transitional recovery phase and return to the game like they shaved off 10 years of their lives.

It was the Flying Hawaiian's triple early on that put the Yankees in a bit of a hole. 3 RBIs with one swing of the bat. 4-0 heading into the bottom of the 2nd. Cano is starting to do the same thing Kobe does when his team's in trouble. Grabs the game himself and basically says, "Do I have to do everything myself?" and then just goes on scoring rampages. Robbie hits a solo shot that, at press time, still hasn't landed.

451 feet. Too bad you don't get extra points for distance. Then maybe the back-to-back dings from Howard and Werth in the 3rd wouldn't have been as costly?

Burnett was off his game in every way possible, though, so there was only so much the offense could do when your starter's mind is somewhere in a galaxy far, far away. In fact, Girardi yanked him in the 4th, not after he gave up more runs, but after he inexplicably failed to cover 1st after Tex makes a great snag on Utley's hit.


I'd say, based on these observations, that it's a safe bet we got Bad AJ tonight. Just hazarding a theory, is all. 6 runs plated before he hands the game over to Boone Logan, who I often forget is a person let alone someone on the Yankees' roster, and Chad Gaudin. Neither gave up any runs to their credit, further supporting the notion that AJ kinda messed this one up for us.

However, I am an AJ apologist, and I think that what he's done for the team FARRRR outways outings like this. I'm ok with suffering through a handful of Bad AJ starts, because Good AJ makes everyone electric. He brought an unpredictable mania to the team that's quite inimitable, and in a good way.

And, hey, look at Moyer, he had a veritable implosion just 5 days ago, and today he's huffing and puffing his way to a W, riding the coattails of a mid-70s fastball (I'm not kidding. I bet they had to get the little league radar gun for this one. Kinda like how they had to use the Children's Trivial Pursuit for Peter Griffin.)

"Boston was five days ago," Moyer said. "It wasn't a thought in my mind."

Oh, God. It's too easy.


  1. Anonymous said...
    Typically, your posts are entertaining but this one sounds like you being that "average fan" you often rip.

    First of all, Moyer's last appearance was a start. The one prior to that was a complete game and he's also tossed a 2-hitter this season. That one awful appearance against Boston has really skewed his numbers and to just diminish him to just being an "old guy" than what he is -- the best over 45 pitcher since Satchel Paige -- is a little bit disrespectful... even for someone who can find it easy to dismiss anything that happens outside of a Yankee game.
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Ha I corrected that! Seriously, I actually just remembered him not being able to get more than 3 outs and just automatically registered it as a relief appearance. My bad.

    And hey, I'm not saying anything about his performance or history or talent. All I'm doing is the same thing I do to CC--pick one trait and beat it to death. I don't think I've referred to our ace as anything other than Tubbo or Fatso in years and I adore him.

    He's good for a guy over 45. But there's no age groups in the pro's, ie I don't care if a player's 9 or 79, I only care about what he's doing for my team. So his numbers, while indisputably impressive for a guy his age, are lukewarm over the course of his career.'re right on one count. I do dismiss most (not all) things outside of Yankee world. Guilty.
    Anonymous said...
    So, does Moyer (265 wins) hang around the league for another 6 years so he can reach the magic 300 win mark? Stay tuned...
    jimm ny said...
    Hey, stay gold, pony boy, I mean CYC. We come for the Yankees analysis and stay for the pop culture.
    Ya think Jeter would lend Tex and Granderson his "Hit-away" or something. He has gotta have a few laying around. Where would we be
    without Swish, Cano and Cervelli

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