"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

My mom has a love-hate relationship with the first day of summer. On the one hand, SUMMER! On the other hand, she looks at it the same way I look at going away on vacation. The second the plane lands in your destination, every second puts you that much closer to it being over. Like, "How far can a dog run in a forest? Halfway."

I know, it's not the sunniest of outlooks. But it's pragmatic. The first day of summer means the days are getting shorter, weirdly.

But today? Today is the longest day of the year. And it 100% felt like it, too.

It was one of those days where you start referring to things that happened earlier as "a few days ago" because that's how long ago the morning felt. I was in Teaneck NJ at 7am for market research and 16 hours later I was finally standing in front of my apartment building again.

As I walked in lugging my laptap and 18,231 pages of notes, the doorman looks at me and shakes his head. "Can you believe AJ tonight?"

"WHAT?! It's only 10:20! The game just started 10 minutes ago!"

In the 6 second ride in the elevator, I frantically opened the game up on my phone, unable to just wait until I walked into the door. It was like the blackberry screen couldn't refresh fast enough. I felt like I was watching that movie "Untraceable" where people's demises are a function of how many hits a website gets.

I collapse onto my couch, throw on YES, and sure enough, AJ had decided not to keep anyone in suspense over which AJ was going to take the mound tonight.

So that was a fun way to end my brutally long work day.

3 homeruns in a span of roughly 3 seconds. Bullets have left guns slower.

4-0.
5-0.

Soon thereafter, 6-0.


Upton, LaRoche (who I'm sure I didn't start today seeing as he honest to God must wait until the coast is clear to go yard), and Reynolds (whose K numbers are nothing short of astronomical) all took our hurler deep.

And just in case I accidentally started LaRoche, Miguel Montero picked up the aggravating fantasy team assault slack. (When the hell did this guy get off the DL? Is he still on my team? I'm capping out my fantasy teams at 2 next year, I'm losing my mind with 3.)

The catcher who may or may not be on my team went 3-4 with a double and 2 ribbies. Upton, who actually is another one who may be on my team but it may be his brother, posted even more ridiculous stats on the day: 3-3 with a walk, 4 ribbies, 2 HRs, and 4 runs. Good grief.

And now for the numbers on the other side of this:

Burnett (6-6) gave up seven runs and nine hits in four innings with no strikeouts and two walks. He has allowed 23 runs, including nine homers, in 20 innings in losing his last four starts. The 33-year-old right-hander failed to make it past four innings for the second straight start and is 2-6 after opening the season a career-best 4-0.

The Yanks' bats weren't actually too bad. Despite the AP reporting that Grandy went 4-for-4, I don't think this really happened. I actually am almost quite positive it didn't happen, unless it was like on some mysterious hidden track like on a CD. Or in a warp zone.

HOWEVAH, GGBG did go 4-for-4, and scored half the Yanks' total runs. And to the lineup's credit, they only struck out twice all game. It really wasn't too horrendous an offensive showing, and I do hate myself a little for saying 4 runs isn't that bad, because I feel like I'm not holding the Yanks to the standards they should be held to, but then again, who the hell am I to cast judgement?

But all in all, I wasn't miffed at the bats. Not completely, anyway. What I am a little miffed at is the way the Yanks used to eat deficits like this for breakfast. This year, they seem to be kind of like, "Ok, well we'll see, maybe we can overcome this, but we're not guaranteeing anything." Whereas last year, it was more like, "GIVE ME COMEBACK OR GIVE ME DEATH! THEY'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE! HI HO PINSTRIPES! AWAYYYYY!"

Yeah, I'm not really seeing this do or die attitude? Is it me? Or is it unreasonable to expect the otherworldly intensity that punctuated nearly all of last season? I honestly can't tell.

The Yanks starting chipping away at the score a little bit in the 6th. 7-1 became 7-3, and you wanted to feel the rally.

Chan Ho Park comes in, and I swear he is like a can of Raid on a colony of ants of Hope.

And boom goes the dynamite. 3-run shot from Upton seeled our fate. In fairness, the Yanks only banked another lone run in the 9th off Swish's sac fly, so there were no "And that Park HR is now really looming large" comments to be had.

Just a bunch of crankiness to be had.

A very long day, to be sure. West Coast Week. These are the times that try men's souls. Except replace "soul" with "urge to sleep."

We'll get 'em Tuesday. No big! We're still half a game up on the Rays, and just to be safe, I'll start LaRoche and whatever other monuments of inconsistency I have on my fantasy teams. Nothing muffles an "on-the-bubble" fantasy bench player quite like arbitrarily starting them.

C'mon Yankees. A few select lines from Andrew Marvell verse...(kinda)


Let's make 'em run.

(I just realized how much Dbacks sounds like Dbags. That sucks for Arizona fans.)