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Oooh Trevor Cahill. The big scary 22-year old off speed pitcher who's shredding through the American League.

Fortunately the Yanks have a bigger (to say the least) lefty.

And fortunately the Yanks have Arod, who--I swear to God--was borderline laughing the entire game. And I don't just mean after he'd finish rounding the bases (both times) but I mean when he was batting. As if to say, "Alright, kid, you wanna throw that down the pipe? Are you sure? Are you SURE? Is that your final answer? Ah, kids these days. Always think they know best..."

The Yankees look amazing. Really just outstanding. Fatso, who owns the weirdest hex of anyone on the roster of inexplicably not being able to pitch well in Oakland, broke this streak of completely bizarro bad luck here, striking out a season high 10 and allowing only 1 run over almost 8 innings.

Trevor Cahill was billed as practically unbeatable, and watching the little mini porker on the mound warming up, I'm thinking, Really? This guy? "He makes really tough outs!" the announcers preened.

He looks more like he should be playing a bully on some Nickelodeon show or something.

Actually, I shouldn't be so flip. The Yanks only recorded 4 hits against him, but I can't help but think that the mentality was something like, "Ok, an offspeed pitcher. None of us can hit offspeed pitchers. Arod already spotted us a 4 run lead and Round Boy's mowing em down. Let's just see what happens if we don't swing, yeah?"

They may have only gotten 4 hits, but they saw 148 pitches. THANK GOD. I was about to go apeshit if I saw another game where they swung at everything that wasn't a pickoff attempt.

Arod really was the whole star of the show, which I'm sure left those of the 20,000 attendees decked in their brand new "Get Off My Mound" shirts, more than a little sheepish as they exited the stadium with their tails between their legs.

Maybe they can recoup some of their expenses by just ironing on "4-seamer" over "Mound." (I honestly wouldn't put it out of the realm of possibility for some whining weirdo on the A's to claim that it's an unwritten code that a cleanup batter HAS to layoff accidental 4-seam fastballs.)

Speaking of temper tantrums, Barton gets ejected from the game when he's out on a called third strike, with bases loaded and 2 outs. It was, indeed, questionable, but you know what's a WRITTEN rule in baseball? NOT ARGUING WITH THE UMP.

So, stop paying so much attention to who's walking on whose mound and what the grey area of baseball protocol is, and just follow the actual rules delineated in conventional baseball.

At least he acts like an adult afterwards though: "I'm just tired of getting called out on pitches that aren't strikes." Oh my God, really?? Looks like someone needs to hear my dad's discourse on The Injustice of Even and Odd Integers.

Arod, on the other hand, was as poised and PR-groomed as ever in his postgame. It was a noticeable difference. Not that he ever acted like a total imbecile or anything, but he was never exactly smooth and political. Now, he somehow manages to be not only both of those things, but also guileless and personable.

"We're all about pitching and power, and today we had both." Well put.

Also: "I like RBIs because that helps the team win." Hm. Not as well put, but endearing nonetheless.

The other element of the game not mentioned is the defense outside of the pitching, and that show belonged squarely to one Mark Teixeira, who did incredible things again.

2 out of the way pop ups in foul territory (which is like the size of Spain) that Tex snagged perfectly. Then a screaming line drive he grabbed like it was nothing. One of the things I like most about having him on the team, and one of the things I'm continually stunned by, is how he never takes his hitting slumps onto the field.

I know playing in Central Park softball leagues is a littttttle different, but when I'm struggling at the plate, it seems that my head is elsewhere when I'm settling into 2B. Or not just the softball field, but when you're fighting with your significant other and then have to work a hellish week in the office, it's never easy to separate the 2.

Tex always does. He's a good egg.

A couple more notes on the game:

  • 9 salamis in 3 months. The first time in MLB history a team's done that before the ASG.

  • Tubbo's 7 straight wins is the first time a Yankee has done that since Roger Clemens in 2001.

  • Today was Arod's 55th mulithomer game, which means he dethrones WoManny Ramirez as the most for any active player.

  • The Sox not only lost to Tampa, but lost another game in the standings, and lost another big bat in the lineup. Youkilis leaves the game with an injury, and I know it's "The Year of the Thumb,"* but seriously, the Red Sox are gonna have to start doing what my softball team does when we can't find enough girls to play: take an automatic out every 9 batters.

Maybe they need to sleep more. I get delirious and uncoordinated(er) when I'm tired. And that said, it's 4:23am. Now seems like as good a time as any to take a tshirt out of the freezer, throw it on, and call it a night.

And instead of counting sheep, you can be sure I'm counting the days left until the West Coast run is over.


*Suzyn Waldman's terminology for the rampant amount of injuries in 2010. Not just thumb injuries. (Logical.)


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