"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

"Dad just called."
"Did he leave a message?"
"No."
"Then he's probably just bored and wants to play with his new Droid."

Me, my sis, By, and Mel went out last night to take advantage of the fact we were all quasi-out of work early, in the sense that it was getting near impossible to have another productive night on account of rabid burnt-out-ness.

So it would appear that the Yanks' formula as of late is to take a 2-run lead in the 1st inning with a bomb.

Then unravel.

Which is just so bizarre on so many levels. Isn't this the team that typically refuses to even show up until roughly the 6th (5th, earliest) inning?

Now all of a sudden they're getting on the board quick then phoning it in for the rest of the game? I liked it better when they were staging dramatic comebacks in the tail end of the game. I mean, even if I have to pick one. But overall, if I had my druthers, I'd pick them scoring in all the innings and ideally more so than their opponents.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Would you rather have a client who
committed a crime malum in se or
malum prohibitum?

ELLE
Neither.

PROFESSOR DONOVAN
Why not?

ELLE
I'd rather have a client who's
innocent.

So Tex follows this illogical algorithm by going yard in the first, and I swear to God, if someone hits a 2-run bomb in the 1st inning of tonight's game, I'm gonna instinctively get a pit in my stomach. Like Pavlov's Bell. Only it's like Pavlov's Ding.

"Dad just called again."
"AGAIN? Ok, call him back to make sure everything's ok."

So I did.

"Hi...is everything ok?"
"YEAH! I just called to tell you AROD'S UP!"
"Oh, Jesus, Dad, you got me and Laur nervous."
"What? Nooo. Don't be nervous! I already saw this game! He's gonna hit a homerun!"

See, I'm pretty sure there will never be a point in my life when something my dad says isn't seen as bible. Including now. So he says this and I have renewed hope. Because if my dad is confident, then he's probably right.

Sigh. Not last night. Which makes it only the 2nd time in his life he was wrong, by my count.

But my dad often falls asleep on the couch watching tv, (but knows exactly when someone changes the channel: "Hey! I was watching that!") so I'm thinking maybe he fell asleep to this alleged rerun and hence got a little mixed up in the delirium.

Because while Arod didn't go deep, per se, pretty much everyone else in the world did. I think I might have even seen Avril Lavigne go yard at some point last night.

Travis Snider.
Vernon Wells.
Aaron Hill.
Juan Batista.

All of 'em. The 2007 All Star Team all took turns knocking the cover off the ball. Absolutely brutal to watch. Big time.

The Yanks' pitching was an unmitigated nightmare, with Dustin Moseley allowed 5 runs on 9 hits with 2 HRs (if there ever was a bloom to this guy, it surely has since fallen. There's just not enough there for me to get on board with this guy. Welcome, Brad Halsey Part Deux.)

Kerry Wood came in for a cup of coffee, gave up a homerun.

Sergio Mitre came in for a spot of tea, gave up another homerun.

And on the other side of the game? Ricky Romero held the Yanks to 2 hits. TWO.

Terrible, terrible to watch. I actually feel physically bad for anyone who went to this game.

The only good thing about it was that it was over in less than 2 and a half hours. Somewhere Joe West is beaming and cooing.

So the Yanks dropped their 3rd in a row. To put in perspective how indicative of a "skid" this is...well, it's the first time since the beginning of June that they've lost 3 consecutive games.

And if that doesn't say anything, then maybe the fact that we are no longer in first place will.

There's the takeaway of August 3, 2010.

The Yanks fall out of first.

Somewhere the rest of the baseball world is rejoicing and somewhere Steinbrenner is saying, "Laugh now, haters. I have faith in the Yankees."

We do, too, I know. It's just that the faith is getting muddied up with unbridled frustration right now. Not a good combo when the f'n Sox are coming in soon.

Some inspirational words to get me out of this YankFunk: