"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

"The last line of 'Little Monsters' is 'When there's a bed, there's a way.'"

"Profound. Did you see the homeruns?"

"?? Oh shit, the game's at 7. I thought it was 8. Hold on."

I like DVR.

So I got to rewind and see Swish go deep in the 1st (I feel like he does this alot.) Then Nunez and Timms with b2b dings. (b2b being back-to-back, not business-to-business).

Kay made the winning comment, "When Nunez hit his first career hit, he said it was the best day of his entire life. I wonder now if he's going to revise that statement now that he's just hit his first HOMERUN." You can always count on Kay to articulate exactly what's on every viewer's mind.

(Kind of reminded me in "The Fugitive" when Tommy Lee Jones' assistant says to the guard, "Care to revise your statement?" and TLJ says "She means, 'you wanna change your bullshit story?'")

Kay is really a ballbuster today, actually. Kim Jones is chatting with the Grandersons (which, btw, sounds like a sitcom title.. "Jones Chatting with the Grandersons") and Mary Grandy and Curtis Sr are essentially the cutest people in the world. Mary tells us how she insisted Curtis Jr would put every single report card on the refigerator so she could show everyone how smart he was, and so all his friends could see that they are a family that has high standards and expectations and that they're so proud of how Curtis always meets them. (Seriously, just so adorable.)

Kay's reaction to this? "Yeah, well what did they do if Curtis came home with like a 70 or something?"

Yes, it's 100% necessary to cross-examine the witness during in-game interviews with beaming parents of players. Good move, Kay.

There were about 48,000 homeruns in this game overall, actually.

Swisher (2-run) 420 ft
Nunez (2-run) 394 ft
Timms (2-run) 404 ft
Konerko (2-run) 395 ft
Jones (2-run) 398 ft
Timms (solo) 397 ft
Ramirez (solo) 357 ft

(When I heard, "Ramirez rounds the bases and makes the score 12-8," I'm thinking "Holy crap, Manny is already in Chicago? Playing?" I'm brilliant. Cuz there's not like 452 other Ramirez's playing baseball or anything..)

Speaking of Andruw Jones (see homerun #5 of the game), I'm nearly positive the YES booth emulated the Fox booth when they first commented on how he didn't have any range and was a shitty fielder...only to, a few innings later, cheerfully expoud on how "Andruw Jones has still got that same strong arm he had in Atlanta!"

Actually, this wasn't even the funniest Andruw Jones comment of the night. I loved in the end of the game when Kay's talking about how dramatic the matchup between Mo and Jones is, on account of WS games 14 years ago. (And 11 years ago). It would've sufficed as a little "Yeah these 2 have seen each other before" comment, but he just RAN with it, making it out like it was the most incensed rivalry in the history of sports.

CC got his 18th win, becoming the first pitcher in the league to do so. How many starts does he have left? Because last year he didn't get his 18th W til the end of September. He's ahead of the game this year, though it would seem he's not having quite the same power and dominance? How weird. Well, also, congratulations! That would be fantastico if he got 20! WAHOO.

Lock it up, my favorite expression to hear ever: "We're way ahead of schedule." (I've posed this question to a bunch of my buddies, and like 80% of them all had the same answer: "This one's on me.")

Maybe this game was like a microcosm of Fatso's season: he got the W, sure. He struck out 9, sure. But he also gave up 9 hits and 5 runs, 2 homeruns. And his changeup was the P-I-T-S. I don't know how his fat got him out of this one.

But it did.

Despite the bullpen's best efforts to ignite the wrath of Tubbo scorned.

Fatty made it through 7 innings before being replaced by Joba who swiftly gave up 2 runs on 2 hits.

Good grief, there just was never any point in the game when I could relax. Even though there were multiple times when I should have been able to.

Strange called in the 1st a little blue.

"You ok?"

"Yeah, this game is just starting to get away from us fast." It was 6-1, good guys.

About a half hour later, it's 6-5, as Singleton delightfully screams, "WELL, NOW WE GOT OURSELVES A BALL GAME!"

WHAT TEAM ARE YOU GUYS ROOTING FOR? Say what you will about Sterling, but at least he sounds somewhat despondant when the bad guys are beating us.

Then my sister comes over, we take a walk to Duane Reade to get more popcorn, and it's 10-5 when we get back. "UGH. IT'S PROOF THAT THE YANKEES ONLY DO GOOD THINGS WHEN I'M NOT AROUND."

There's some kind of "tree falling in a forest" parallel in there, but I'm too tired to track it down.

That was point #2 in the night that I should have been able to relax.

Timms added an "insurance run" (I believe that's what the kids are calling it these days) with a solo bomb in the 9th, and the score is 12-7. Point #3 when I should've felt safe.

Then it's the bottom of the 9th and D-Rob is sticking people on bases like he's trying to get the most possible drunks to fit in the sober driver's car.

Then it's 12-9, and someone needs to wake up Mo to get the Yanks out of this disaster.

Kay: "There's something important I'd like to bring up here that every fan should be thinking about...."

((pregnant pause))

"Mariano Rivera hasn't pitched on the road since August 11."

Singleton makes some comment to the effect of "Whatever, dude. It's Mo. He'll be fine."

To which Kay responds, "Well, yeah, he's MO. But his control is NEVER good when he's gone too long without pitching."

Mo gets a double play within seconds of entering the game. Kay consoles himself by relishing in his opportunity to make "down to their final out" remarks.

Game's all wrapped up soon after Mo comes in to get his 26th save in 28 opportunities. So this was a "SAVE" in the absolute truest sense of the word.

A lot of hits today, Nunez with the best line score of the day. 3-for-4 with 4 ribbies. I feel like I'm watching that Keanu Reeves movie "The Replacements" sometimes when I'm watching the Yanks. The "scabs" coming in to light it up and dominate on the field, while the superstars are out.

(Tex is added to that list of stars, after having left the game in the 2nd with a bruised thumb.)

As for the ChiSox, Danks was a mess tonight which did ZERO to help my fantasy team. Sigh. Their offense wasn't too shabby, but I think after last night, the Yanks were like "F this noise. They got guys who can bash the ball, too. We wanna win this we're gonna do it patiently."

199 pitches the Yanks saw. They walked 9 times, to the Sox's 2. The 2 teams combined for 30 hits overall, and perhaps this is when the Yanks would like to stage their dramatic 15 game winning streak that removes all doubts about their playoff outlooks.

Tomorrow I'm watching game in Strange's enemy territory. Gavin Floyd faces Ivan Nova.

The Yanks' rotation seriously changes with the same overwhelming speed at which Apple comes out with an upgraded iPod.

It'll be interesting to see where we net out with the arms. But for now, I'll take the offensive production.

Thanks again, Timms, for being ridiculous at the plate. And congrats to Nunez for the first ding. Congrats, Tubbo.com. Congrats Yanks for getting out of the mini slump.

Oh, and congrats to my cat Mariano Rivera, who turns 6 years old today (8/29). That's 40 years old in human years.

On to tomorrow. Time for bed. And tomorrow, let's get a series sweep. It's time someone stopped feeding the Sox energy bars.

It's time for the Yanks to start feeding them humble pie.