So yesterday, in gorgeous weather, at 12:26 when someone asked if I was busy, it was pretty sad to have to turn down the beautiful printed Yankee Stadium tickets, with the nice little perforations and shiny pictures of AJ and Posada.
Gamecast got the honor of providing me with the live updates.
And you know what's cool about the company I work for? The relative preponderance of sports fans. I mean, artistic/creative sports fans sort of are like people who like Macs and PCs equally. Normally, if you like one, you're supposed to hate the other.
But here, there's a fair amount of 'em. And when Joe K walked in to tell me about CC's 1-hitter, I felt a pang of appreciation for Yankee fans as a whole. Just like the mystery blogger who selflessly composed a guest recap when I was preoccupied with my grandmother's passing...Yankee fans just seem to look out for each other.
Ha, that just reminded me of this time about 7 years ago, when I was taking note of how when you walk down the streets of the city and you see someone else with a Yankee hat on, you just sort of instinctively give each other this nod, like "Yeah we know what's up." A subtle unspoken acknowledgement of comraderie.
I told my bf at the time this, and said how there should be a Yankee Hat-Wearing Strangers club. In retrospect, I guess that's what Yankee Stadium is, but semantics. And he just shook his head and gave me a pat on the head. Which pissed me off. The pat on the head part. So a week later when he asked if I wanted to get dinner, I said I was busy...
"Well, remember that idea I told you about last week with the Yankee hats?"
"Jesus. Yes, why?"
"Well, we have our first meeting tonight."
"Yeah, the..um..YankTank? Yeah, the YankTank. That's the name of it."
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Nope. We're meeting at Flight 151 later."
It was kind of funny listening to him bitch to his friends for weeks. "Yeah, I'll be out later...No, Kris can't make it. She's got a YankTank meeting...I don't know why!... Because she's f#%&ing crazy, who the hell knows."
Moving on. Game recap.
So Round on the Mound gets his 19th win of the year in a 1-hitter against the God Awful Annoying Dallas Braden. Perfecto-Hurling Braden, who now apparently is acting sooo aghast at how MoundGate 2010 is being soooo blown out of proportion.
Ugh. I hate people like this. It's classic guy behavior. They'll just keep teasing you and poking at you and TRYING to get you riled up, and then when you're finally like, "Sweet Christ, will you quit it??!" they're all, "Oooh, someone's sensitive! Geez, relax. Calm down."
So Dallas Braden loses the game, and then ACTUALLY HAS THE F'N NERVE TO CRITICIZE NEW YORK YANKEE FANS FOR NOT HECKLING HIM!
OH MY GOD.
You know why we don't heckle you?
BECAUSE YOU ARE NOBODY.
"They get an 'F' in my book."
Asked if the toughest part of the afternoon was not being able to stick it to the Yankees and their fans, Braden replied, "Absolutely, I wanted to shove it, period. I've said it all year, these are the types of teams and types of players that you play against that serve as your measuring stick."
"I wanted to shove it, period."
Thank you, Braden, for giving us something to work with.
Oh, and also for enabling the sweep.
You're such a loser.
You know what I have to say to people like you?
VOS ES SUBTER SUPTER MIHI.
Pitching for the Good Guys, Tubby matched his career high in wins. He's got about 5 starts left to hit the elusive 20.
"I could see myself playing the offensive line." --Fatso
I heart him.
He was superb yesterday, no one could even come close to touching him. Him and his army of ~500 pounds of body fat worked straight through the 92 degree heat. He must have shed my weight's worth in sweat. (No exaggeration.)
Dallas Braden, conversely, left in the 6th with heat-related cramps. HAHAHAHA. I'm sorry, I'm not laughing at the fact he's "injured." I'm laughing at the fact that I don't think the cramps were "heat related." Based on his penchant for being an annoying whiny bitch, I'd venture to say the cramps can be attributed to another cause.
Grandy homered twice, and since it was a day game and all, this meant I was subjected to "the Grandy Man!" Sterling cheers two times too many. Wow.
Jonathan Ablaksfas [sic] is back in the bullpen fray and relieved Fatty and preserve the 1-hitter. Dallas Braden can have his perfecto. We have CC. And that's worth all the tea in china plus a bajillion dollars. Infinite times infinite.
Overall it was very much a day of "The New York Yankees Take the High Road." Jorge hits a 405-ft bomb in the 2nd and rounds the bases in Miguel Cabrera-esque time, but manages to hold his tongue upon passing 3rd base ump Dana DeMuth (tough break on the name, kid). The game prior, DD had him tossed when Posada took it upon himself to illustrate exactly where the strike zone is.
I mean, I guess what could he really say?
"Now THAT'S outside, bitch."