"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

So I just realized that when I was on my 5-day hiatus on account of a death in the family, when I returned, I misnumbered the game. Tuesday August 10 was actually game 112, not 113. And hence EVERY game number since then has been off.

Oops.

Speaking of things being off...

The Yankees.

I'm at a bar after work, and asking the bartender to change to the YES network, since the game is listed as a 7:07 start time, as per usual in Canadian world of the Great American Pasttime.

But it's not on. And I can't figure out what the hell the press conference with the 2 managers is about, on account of the lack of captioning.

"Maybe the J's just forfeited and this is the post game?" my sis theorized.

I checked my phone: "Delayed."

"Delayed? Due to what? Inclement dome conditions? I don't get it."

I actually didn't figure out what the hell was going on until the game was underway and a camera shot of the J's dugout displayed a row of players with mustaches.

"AHH! What the hell? Why do they all look like that?"

Someone enlightens me, and no offense, but couldn't you guys gone with a commemorative patch or something? Painted mustaches seem kind of cheesy.

My sis and I start talking about the whole ceremony-before-games thing, and we both agreed that it must suuuuuuck to be the visiting team in that kind of a situation. I have like a newfound sympathy and mild empathy for non-Yankee teams, really.

I mean, think about it. Every other game marks some kind of record or commemorative fanfare, whether it's Yogi Berra Day, Lou Gehrig Day, Steinbrenner Day Part 1, Steinbrenner Day Part 2, Jeter breaking the hit record, Arod breaking a homerun record, etc.

And then it's like, if you win you're the bad guys who rained on the parade of poor innocent fans who just want to win one for the gipper. If you lose, well, you got to deal with not only the basic pitfalls of a defeat, but also the exagerrated exclaims of celebration from the home team's stadium, brassly inflated on account of the circumstances.

So, yeah, the Yankees lost this one. I don't think it was because of the ceremony so much as it is because they are playing like they're categorically opposed to showing up against an AL East team.

To be clear, this does not bode well for us come October 6.

Forget about home field advantage, I'm just worried about getting through the game without some kind of implosion.

Speaking of implosion, Javy Vasquez...well, the bloom has fallen from the rose. The rose that wasn't even very fresh to begin with. It was basically like one of those browning roses you get at a bodega in some bizarro color that would suggest the plant was simply marinating in a vat of food coloring prior to being shoved in a communal vase.

He did nail ONE thing though:

"I had nothing," Vazquez said. "I didn't feel like my pitches were sharp at all."

Yup, all of those things are right. You had nothing. And you are very much correct in your assessment of how your pitches were feeling. Who cares your pitching sucks, you're remarkably intuitive for someone who couldn't find the strike zone if it followed him around like a Stage 5 Clinger.

Cito Gaston said this about the game: "What a way to go out."

And I'd like to echo that sentiment. About the Yanks. What a way to go out. They've lost 6 of the last 8, and failed to take the division lead tonight when TB lost to the O's. How did the Yankees win 94 games this year? Seriously. The way they're playing now, it's hard to remember at point they were collecting all these W's.

One bright spot was Arod's homer which means he now has 13 years of 30 dings and 100 ribbies.

Remember how long it took him to knock down his 600th?

The interminable wait?

Well, that's kinda how I feel now. Only instead of waiting for someone to hit a record breaking 600th longball, I'm waiting for a team to play like they're somewhat cognizant of the fact they're gonna be in the postseason in less than a week.

As grim as it sounds, the facts are: lately the Yankees lose more than they win.

All the usual suspects were out in full force terrorizing the Yanks. Hill had 4 ribbies, Snider and Buck took Javy deep in both the 1st and 2nd inning.

But you know, all things considered, the score makes it look worse than it is. I say that a lot, but I feel like I mostly say it about the J's. This is because they go deep like they're batting tennis balls coming out of a pitching machine. That kills us. Take away those sprinkled bombs, and you got an even matchup of head-to-head manufactured runs.

And the Yanks DID have 11 hits and only 2 Ks.

So what's the problem here? Yesterday I didn't know what the problem was because there was too much to choose from.

Tonight I don't know what the problem is because a.) it's after 5am and b.) I'm just too delirious and confused to wrap my head around this and c.) who the hell am I to determine what their problem is? What I know about baseball managerial evaluations you could fit in a thimble and have room left over for what I know about the Oakland A's farm system.

As always, it's a matter of faith.

Faith that this outing will relegate Javy to an early off-season with a playoff roster cut.

Faith that Hughes AJ and Pettitte rise like phoenixes from ashes to pitch the games of their lives in the coming weeks.

Faith that Girardi will lead his team into a 28th title.

Faith that the Yankees will prevail.

Let's take down Boston this weekend. Leave em reeling. They're never know what hit em (if they're even watching baseball anymore).

And we'll use them as leverage to rebound into the playoffs.

Life's a bitch, sometimes, Beantown. Let's go Yankees. 3 up 3 down.

Because there's not a whole lot of better ways to generate momentum than a sweep in Boston.

(PS Boston didn't get into the playoffs. It bears repeating.)