"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES FOR BECOMING THE FIRST TEAM TO ADVANCE TO THE LEAGUE CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES!!!

I hate to be a typical Yankee fan here, but that seemed too easy.

Of course, I didn't think it'd be this painless when I was watching Game 1 on Wednesday, when the Yanks were losing 3-0 and all we could think about was how terribly they'd played in September, how amazing the Twins had done in the last stretch.

But, cmon. We're the Yankees. They're the Twins.

The history against them is record-breaking. Literally. I don't think any one team has ever so severely owned another team in history.

Oh, well, except for the Sox, of course. Barring that one little 2004 mishap.

Oh, speaking of mishap...does anyone else nothing something wrong here:
Wishful thinking, ESPN?

I know you hate the Yankees and all, but let's try to adhere to some semblance of journalistic integrity, yeah?

So the Twinkies get ushered into the postseason thanks to the 7-inning shut out brilliance of Phil Hughes.

My buddy Hannon pointed out that he thinks there's some kind of conspiracy movement among the umps to purposely call atrociously inaccurate games, in an effort to force the need for instant replay.

You know how I feel about this. Not favorably. At all.

It's so dumb. Instead of having umps who are good at their jobs, they'd rather blame the errors on human nature and insist on some kind of "flawless" technological solution. If I wasn't good at my job, they'd hire someone better than me. They wouldn't chalk up my mistakes to "hey, happens to everyone!"

Instant replay is basically the equivalent of inplementing mandatory "spell checks" on all manuscripts. Because THAT'S always foolproof, right?

Blech, anyways.

I saw a stat on the tv last night which was 100% astounding. Minnesota didn't get back to back hits THE ENTIRE SERIES???

Is this even possible???

After leading the major leagues during the regular season with a .285 average with runners in scoring position, the Twins couldn't get a single clutch hit in the playoffs. With runners in scoring position, they went an almost impossibly bad 0 for 14 before Denard Span's too-little, too-late single in the eighth off Kerry Wood.

This is kind of like when my ex told me he'd rather go 18-0 and then lose the Super Bowl, then 14-5, and then win the Super Bowl.

I'm sure I can find millions and millions of Giants fans who would beg to differ, but whatever. The point is that I'd rather suck for the last month of the season, choke away the division lead, settle for the Wild Card, and then blaze through the hottest team of the league with ease in a matter of 3 days.

The Yanks took an early 1-0 lead when Posada drove in Cano after his leadoff triple. It was then I wondered if the whole game was gonna be this easy. I'm sorry, I'm know it's a bitchy thing to say, but it's true.

Tex drove in Swish in the 3rd. Timms hit a moon shot 2-run homer in the 4th, followed by GGBG's sac fly that brought in Grandy. And later on in the 7th, Swish chipped in a solo bomb.

6-0 after 7 innings. And then the Yanks did that thing where the most effective reliever of the year comes in and someone manages to completely implode in the postseason, much like Hughes did last year, and much like Kerry Wood did this game.

Valencia doubled.

Span singled.

O-Hud singled (brought in Span).

Mauer walked.

Ok, enough of Wood. D-Rob and Boone came in to close out the 8th with no more than 1 run's worth of damage.

And Mo...well, we know what Mo did. Because he's Mo.

So there are like a million different stats about absurd the Yanks' domination of the Twins have been, but here's my personal favorite stat of the day:

The Yankees get their 13th postseason series sweep, more than twice as many as the teams with the next-most (Reds, Braves, each with 6).

That's just ridiculous. Is there a greater testament to how otherwordly the Yankees are?

You know what else I like? How all of a sudden, the sports writers of the world are recanting their "PHILLIES EASY PICK FOR 2010 CHAMPS!" claims.

Now all of a sudden I'm seeing a lot more, "Why the Yankees Can Repeat" type of articles.

THAT'S RIGHT, FOOLS. DON'T AX LIKE YOU KNOW.

After the game, my buddy Hannon also pointed out that I seemed pretty subdued for someone whose name is "Crazy Yankee Chick."

"You seem happy, but...not like psychotically excited."

He's right. I am happy. But this is only 3 down.

There's 8 to go.

And as my dad used to always say... It's a long way to Tippararie (sp?)

But at least we didn't use up that much gas on the first leg of the trip. Thanks, Twinks!