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HERE WE GO.
How the hell did we get here?? Seriously. I feel like I've been mired in some weird time continuum where yesterday it was the spring and now all of a sudden we're hours away from starting the first game of the playoffs??
And yet at the same time, I feel like the last 5 months of my life have last 7 years.
(My mom: "Well. That's because you worked about 7 years worth of work in that time. You need a social life, Kristen." Thanks.)
The last time I was at a Yankee game was Saturday, April 17.
I'm not kidding.
It was only 3 years ago that I went to about 30-40 games a year. Now I've been to one.
ONE.
And now the playoffs are upon me.
I took off work yesterday to prepare myself for the most agonizing and soul-trying time of my life.
I stocked up on the necessary provisions.
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I slept all day.
I tried to calm myself down.
But c'mon. We all know that there's nothing that can ever prepare us for what we're about to get ourselves into.
We can only hope that the Yankees are more ready for it than we are.
Tonight, they will be.
Round Boy takes the mound against Liriano, as the Yankees try to recreate the 2000 postseason, in the sense that they'll look to put all the September trouble behind them, while they take on a team that has been close to perfect in the final stretch.
And if I hear one more, "Oh what are you worried about?? It's the TWINS. The Yankees ALWAYS beat the Twins," I'm gonna start my puke-fest prematurely.
Listen, no one should start getting a little too comfortable. The thing is that at some point, the Twins are gonna beat us. Just like the Angels were bound to beat the Red Sux at some point..speaking of, has anyone seen the Red Sux? When is their game today?
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. I WENT THERE.
So once again, the "Big Market" Goliath takes on the "Small Market" Tiny Tim. God, I hate that story line. SO MUCH.
Pooooor Twinkies. They're so starved for love and nourishment.
They make a lot of funny decisions though.
Like intentionally walking Tex to get to Arod.
Or, building a stadium in the Minnesota tundra with no roof.
Weirdos.
So basically we have to neutralize Mauer and Cuddyer. But mostly we have to hit. If Fatso can do what he's been doing all year, the game falls on the shoulders of our offense.
And I have a feeling they're going to give the new digs a crash course in what it's like to face the masters of the postseason.
So, Twins fans: it would probably behoove you to stock up on some Pepto too.
You're gonna be sick after what we do to your team.
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