"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Almost a sweep. But hey, I'll take it. I don't know what it is about the Detroit-Yanks matchup that always seems to bring out the long-ball in everyone. Here's how the weekend played out:

Saturday's game was on Fox which means we had to listen to Joe Buck and McCarver talk about ferris wheels and carousels for a good 15 minutes, and then subsequently fumble around like a drunk freshman looking for her dorm keys at 4am, in an effort to find some distant connection to how any of this is at all relevant.

Mark Teixeira is good in the first weekend of the season, which is as confusing as seeing Steve Carrell in a dramatic villain's role. He homered (Tex, not Michael Scott) in each of his first 3 games. The only other Yankee to HR in each of the first 3 games of the season was Dave Winfield in 1983. So far, he's logged 7 ribbies, and is batting approximately .329 points higher than his average early season.

The thing about Tex playing so well is that it's probably the ONLY time in his career that a pitcher (such as Brad Penny) cannot yell at him "YOU F'ING SUCK" right after he walks him. However, this is exactly what he did say, taking a page right out of every Red Sux fan's book of logic.

The countdown to Jeter's 3000th hit continues with predictable overdone-ness. As my sister said, "Have you noticed how in the last 2 years every time they interview Jeter there's an increasing edge to his voice? Like he used to be Mr. Media and all smiles, and it's progressed into this undertone of 'Ok, yeah, I'm just trying to win, this isn't rocket science.'"

Buck and McCarver DID make one particularly interesting comment. (I just threw up in my mouth, I can't believe I just wrote that.) They were talking about Miguel Cabrera giving interviews in Spanish (why is this an issue? What about the Japanese players who refuse to go near anything that resembles the English alphabet?), and Buck goes, "You know this would be a wholllle other story if it was Arod doing this."

Well, at least everyone can agree that Arod gets unfairly treated, yeah?

AJ was good enough for the win on Saturday which is wayyyyy more than we can say about Hughes on Sunday. Maybe this should quiet the Up-In-Arms contingents about why AJ is the #2 starter instead of Hughes? Yeah, it's one game, but apparently there are bigger fish to fry, which is Hughes' complete lack of understanding re: why his fastball lost the fast part.

I hope beyond hope that this never becomes an Ollie Perez scenario. One of those pitchers who is good but forgets to have a stable psyche and then his talent becomes a paled version of its former self?? (Too early in the season for bad thoughts, I know. Someone just needs to tell that to Joel Sherman.)

Alright so the Yankees lose the first game of the season on about 2934 homeruns, and now the Twins come into town and AJ lines up the whipped cream.