"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

I've had better weekends.

So have the Yankees.

The ONLY thing that Yankee fans can fall back on, the sole modicum of comfort that we can nuzzle up to, is the fact that, hey this isn't new territory. If memory serves correctly, and mine usually does, 2009 was basically a shitstorm of sweeps at the hands of the Sux.

Remember that? We lost approximately 2310 games to them before Arod took 'em deep in the 15th inning of a 0-0 game. So while yes, nothing hurts quite like a sweep, the losses are nothing to panic about yet.

There are, however, other things to get irritated about.

I'll start with the lowest hanging fruit here, which is that the Yanks aren't getting in done when they're more than capable of doing so. In other words, no one is annihilating them. No one is outplaying them, or doing anything exceptional.

The Yanks are just handing games away. Take Friday, for example. The Sux take a 2 run lead early, the Yanks tie it up not long thereafter. We're poised to win. I mean, a tie game means a win for the Yanks, in my head. Because they're dramatic and walkoffs are practically pre-destined in that kind of scenario.

Unfortunately, Justin Chamberlain had other plans.

My mom's take on him:

I'm not so sure about the last part, but still. When my mom is going out of her way to comment on facebook to rant about our middle relief, you know things are bad.

He screws everything up for us, while seemingly gaining more weight in the process. He's like that blueberry in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

I got a BLUEBERRY for a SET-UP MAN!!'

Hmpf.

So there's one down in the books. On Saturday, I was in a "Jesus, I can't even watch this" state of fury. (Which may or may not have had something to do with the fact I had been up since 8am for soccer, then a softball double header, and I still hadn't changed out of my cleats. Walking around on 24 raised rubber bumps for 12 hours doesn't do much in the way of foot comfort and, consequently, irritability.)

Fortunately, I was with Strange who is one of maybe 3 or 4 people tops in the "Only People Who Know How to Assuage My Homicidal Tendencies in the Wake of a Yankee Loss" category. He's that. awesome.

So, yeah, no one died, thanks to the 4L boys.

HOWEVAH, last night, I was at the game. And I was so concerned about the potential for rumble that I texted my coworker on Saturday letting him know he'd have to cover for me if I was late on Monday due to possible assault charges that may or may not be filed if the game swings in the wrong direction.

Which is did.

I managed to sidestep any rumbles, though.

(I mean, if I had to pick between the Yankees winning and not getting the shit kicked outta me, I'd go with the 1st one every day of the week and twice on Sunday.)

Eh, small favors. I got home in one piece.

Which is more than I can say for the state of the Yankees clubhouse right now.

Seriously, what the %$@ is going on with everyone's delicate sensibilities? (Like this...this just disgusts me. I wouldn't touch this monster with a 10-ft pole.) First there's the whole Jeter to-do.

Now Posada is being a whiny brat. I mean, I think there's something to be said (a lot to be said, in fact) for seniority and demonstrated leadership, etc.

That counts for something. A lot.

But I also think that a .165 BA? That and a subway card will get you uptown. Either pull your weight or bow out gracefully for the sake of the team.

Because, once again, the Yanks could have won it. If I had to pick the game changer of the game, which I don't often like to do since it's usually never ONE play, but whatever here I go anyway:

Arod channeling Bill Buckner.

Ouch.

Without that run, it's a different ballgame.

(My sister and I watched from section 417 in horror as this all unfolded. And mused that it sort of reminded us of this Onion article about a guy who comes in late to a meeting and doesn't know how long he supposed to act frazzled. We watched Arod shuffle around uneasily afterwards, and wondered how long he was going to have to be shameful and awkward. I mean, I guess the correct answer to that--if you asked him-- would be "the rest of my life.")

But, Arod is a freaking god as a fielder and as a player. I'm not going to begrudge him even a little bit for one error, even if it cost the Yanks the game.

The bigger problem is the fact we have about 9 players all slumping at the same time, and a penchant for errors that is nothing short of mindblowing. What happened to that well-oiled machine of a team that we used to know?

Whatever's going on in that clubhouse is wildly manifesting itself on the field. In spades.

Maybe the Yanks need to do a ropes course or something. That's what my sorority had to do when we got in trouble for pledge night.

I'll leave this on a positive note: as bad as last night was, I do fall in love with Yankee fans a little bit more every time I'm around them. Their unbridled lunacy and unapologetic abandonment of reasonable behavior is refreshing beyond the telling of it.

So to the guy sitting in section 418 who pretty much screamed everything that came to his mind...thank you. And to the guy who screamed "F--- you, Fan Cam!"...thank you. It's raving nutjobs like you that make losses like those a little bit more palatable.