"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Poor Fatso. Couldn't get the 15th win. And on his birthday and everything. Ugh, that sucks. For some reason, I always feel so terrible for players who have 0-fer games on their bday, or get shelled, or just have a game that's less than amazing.

I guess it doesn't matter since men, at least according to men, don't like bdays. It's a chick thing. I think they probably only notice when it's a crappy bday.

To be clear, Round Boy wasn't crappy by any stretch of the imagination. The Yanks just couldn't hit. Sigh. Again.

Well, neither could Tampa Bay. Longoria hit for like the first time in ever. It was a homerun though so that part sucked. Then Fuld hits a TRIPLE to score the game winning run. Yanks rallied a baby mouse in the end, with Cano's roped shot into right, that plated Jeter who had his 3010th hit (double).

It was the kind of game that played out "without incident." I mean, Bday Boy obviously looked amazing (or his pitches did, anyway. He looked like a giant inflatable landmark type of thing you see on the side of the highway to let all interested parties know that the zoo is going up on the right in 23 miles. Or something.)

Yeah, so he only made 2 mistakes. And he didn't seem to be too worried about them, as he shouldn't be because a.) it's her birthday, and b.) 2 mistakes in a game is a gem. The lumber was useless tonight, and I guess if we want to be optimistic, we can think about how there ain't a whole lot of fuel for the hater fire, when the Yanks have shed their "long-ball-game" reliance (albeit not voluntarily). The team is now such a very odd hybrid of talent.

How are we winning games? It's not like I'm saying the team has holes. I'm saying the opposite, sort of. Inverse, maybe? I don't know. But holes suggest major problem areas that are resulting in losses. I'm asking about the "bumps," maybe? The talent areas that result in wins. Where and what are they?

(Besides Tubbo.com.)

Arod's doing the whole surgery thing. I should've seen this coming. I grabbed him with my first pick (4th) and it was too easy. I guess all the energy haters are saving with the long-ball game being somewhat muted, they can now use on the immaterially paper-thin theory that Arod's doing steroids.

To that I'll say, "The guy may be less than sharp when it comes to basic social conduct, but we know he was off steroids in 2009. He had the best year of his life. What kind of idiot would think, 'hey, let's go back to see what it was like when I was streaky and clutchless. Just for kicks.'"

The only people who do that sort of thing are people at the optometrist's office getting new glasses prescriptions.

So the Yanks are now 2 behind the Sux. Maddon continues to annoy the shit outta me, because he connnnstantly talks down to everyone, and he acts like any win/favorable media talking point/etc can be directly attributed to not just his managerial skills, but--worse--his UNCONVENTIONAL code-rupturing managerial skills.

ESPN.com:

ST. PETERSBURG, Fla. -- Joe Maddon perused the box score and wondered aloud how the latest stellar pitching performance by James Shields only improved the Tampa Bay All-Star's record to one game over .500.

"How's that possible?" Maddon asked after the 29-year-old right-hander won for the first time in nearly a month, outpitching CC Sabathia and beating the New York Yankees 2-1 on Thursday night. "You see Sabathia is 14-5. That's what Shields' record should look like."

Ugh. I know, I know. It was innocuous, I suppose. But to me it still sounds like Maddon is trying to demonstrate that he always KNEW Shields was a winner, even when stats say otherwise.

And because he thinks like that, that's proof enough right there that he's not as smart as he thinks he is.
'
You're only as good as your numbers.

And right now, the numbers the Yanks have to worry about is 4. As in 4 bases. As in the things that are kryptonite to our once flush lineup of OBP.

Now? GGBG is our leading stats batter (BA: .291; OBP: .372)

The Yanks are winning games somehow, but I'll be damned if I know how.

Lastly...Kyle Farnsworth. Just...no.