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April 16, 2012
God, I'm exhausted. Somehow, trying to rest when you're sick seems to make you even more lethargic. Rough few days, bouncing back tomorrow. Even though I work in healthcare, I still think "mind over matter" is applicable to 100% of problems.

Evidence would suggest otherwise though, given that if it were in fact true, then Carl "I'm Just Gonna Go Throw Up Real Quick" Pavano wouldn't have stymied the Yanks and held them to 3 runs.

  • The best part about this game was listening to Yankee Stadium react to the guy. I'm not a HUGE fan of the booing as a rule (unless it's: Schilling, Beckett, Manny, Ortiz, and a handful of other randos who have denounced the Yankees at one time or another), but Carl Pavano being boo-worthy is hilariou to me. I don't think I'd boo but only for the same reason I can't in good conscious boo the Pats. Look at them. They're not worthy of vitriol, they deserved snickers. The laugh. Not the proper noun candy. I can't speak to whether or not they deserve food.

  • But Yankee fans were giddy when he gave up back to back bombs to Jeter and Grandy, to start the bottom of the 1st. Then they were angry when no one could touch him for the rest of the game. Rightfully so. He's Carl Pavano. He's a textbook douchebag. I changed my mind. I'd boo him.

  • By the way, this is probably the weirdest sentence I've read in sports coverage in 2012: 

"Jeter learned earlier Monday that he was being given an honorary doctorate from Siena, a college in Loudonville, N.Y., then homered -- his third -- leading off." 

Thank you, ESPN. Does one have to do with the other? I mean, the way it's written suggests that Jeter was so excited about getting this degree that he went right out and celebrated by taking Pavano deep.

This could have been the method du jour of divorcing Jeter from any kind of player-to-player ill will rumors. Like, the rest of the stadium is allowed to have their vile towards Pavano highlighted. But Jeter's not like the other SSs. He's a COOL one.

(Today I learned  I was winning an award for building a dream catcher out of popsicle sticks, a popular craft making project that involves yarn, then I ate a pineapple--skin and all--to start the afternoon.*)

  • So yeah, it looked like we were cruising towards another classic slice and dice of the Twinks in Yankee Stadium, while Minny fans everywhere (probably mostly concentrated in Minnesota though) were just praying with every fiber of their being that it wouldn't end in a walk off.

(Like in high school when we'd be playing Riverdale and our basketball captain's locker room talk was "We're not gonna win this. Let's just not embarrass ourselves." Which was fair given we were up against this girl.)

  • While we never ever beat Riverdale in basketball, the Twinks didn't just not get walked-off on, but they actually beat us at home. With Pavano pitching. The Yanks' 3-run 1st inning was it for us. The Twinks scored and scored some more, and I'm pretty sure Gardenhire somewhere is bawling like a baby, with tears of joy, in some kind of Mr. Holland's Opus-esque deux ex machina.

  • For the hell of it, one of my favorite Twins quotes ever: 
"That (Mariano) Rivera guy, we don't need to face him anymore. He needs to pitch at a higher level, ban him from baseball. He should be illegal."
- Twins Manager Tom Kelly, April 28, 1996

  • Twins managers are hilarious. Seriously, like they should be characters that my movie "Ladybugs" or something.

  • Freddy Garcia walked 0 batters today. He also gave up 9 hits and 5 runs and everyone booed when he was pulled. Easy, fans. I don't think you should boo a player unless they did something pointedly bad. Like at Garcia was clearly trying to fix what he did wrong in the last game. Now he just needs to do both at the same time. Like playing the piano with both hands.

  • Eh, Garcia's just a placeholder. You know the powers that be are chomping at the bit to get Pettitte on the mound. He threw a good game in High-A Tampa, 4 shutout innings, and they're acting like he pitched a perfect game in the playoffs.

  • Coincidentally enough, Roger Clemens trial is starting up again. Wonder if that had anything to do with the unexpected urge to play ball again.

  • The M&M boys (pause?) are looking like the fantasy players every manager envisions them to be. They're like Mario and Luigi in any Nintendo game where you have to choose your players. Theoretically, the 2 linchpins of the Nintendo franchise should be the best choices. But they rarely are. Toad/Princess/Bowser always get the nod over M & L. But maybe this is Morneau and Mauer's year to be a great storyline.

  • I mean, just look at what Gardenhire had to say about it: "Morny is enjoying the game of baseball."
So much love, and yet also so much information.

Anyways, so all in all it wasn't the worst showing. I mean, the Yanks are hitting the ball. And our relievers are doing well. It's just we seem to have a wild card on the field during our losses, you know? Phil Hughes has bananas game. Garcia. Nunez. Not to say that one person is losing the game every time, but not too far from that, actually. A not-so-fun murder mystery party on the field.

"Here's the Toyota Text Poll, who do you think is today's murderer: Text your answers to 58772. Standard text messaging rates may apply."

Bedtime for Bonzo. My head is spinning after the 2nd night in a row of being unable to sleep.

Goodnight, moon!

*Didn't really happen. To be clear. 


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