"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

May 11, 2012

My dad's nickname is the King, and he isn't interested in sharing it with anyone. Seriously. He feels as strongly about this as he does about the fact he was the FIRST person in the world to EVER say the expression "taking care of business."

Aside from the fact no one is allowed to use the nickname "The King" other than my dad, I'm wondering who these nickname-coining-copywriters are, that they are either recycling old monikers despite often high levels of brand equity OR they're using the First Initial Hyphen First 3 Letters of Last Name formula. Let's push the envelope. Nothing's ever gonna rival Gretzky's nickname. Like, ever. There is, however, some position at my sister's company called "Worldwide Controller."

Anyways, so to further bolstetr my argument against Felix Hernandez being called King--along with the rest of the pro athletes who were very exciting to hear about and talk about when they first entered the scene--titleless Felix gives up hits all over the place.

It's always kind of fascinating to watch this happen. I get that a pitcher can't throw a no-no every day, but how do players go from completely etherizing the batters with pitch after pitch of shimmying bullets...and then the next day the pitcher can just be "uncomfortable" and not know what to tell his arm to do.

This, by the by, is a pretty entertaining interview of Serf Felix. It reminds me of how game announcers are always prodding their co-hosts/former player, with inane questions like, "Hey Keith, you played for the Mets. As a player, how did you feel about rain delays?" So, yeah, this interview is like that, only it looks like the poor interviewer had to repeatedly run the questions through a Flesch Kincaid test, getting them to the point of questions like: "Strikeouts. Good or bad?"

Ah, well. Nice work, David Laurila. Enjoyed it a lot.

I also enjoyed the 11 hits and 4 runs in a little over 6 innings. And the Yankees were doing an exceptional job at knowing when to hold em, knowing when to fold em, in terms of pitch selection. He's one of those pitchers that you can't really rely on poor control (like AJ. Or anyone from Boston's rotation.) But he's one of those pitchers whose control isn't in the ball's movement so much as it is in the type of pitch itself.

When his non-fastball pitches aren't getting it done, he's goes to dance with the girl who brung him to the show in the first place. Although a few years ago, the girl was a solid 96-98 mph, now she's got a little more junk in the trunk, generally slowing to 90, 91.

Which is very hittable. It's just a matter of not biting the non-fastball bait.

Out of all the "elite" pitchers, I think Yu Darvish and Serf Felix are probably your best bets for trying to jack up their pitch counts. I know, I'm alone on this one. I know they're great pitchers. But I also know they're hittable in a way that Halladay and Lee are not as much. You try that shit on Cliff Lee and he'll destroy you every time with control that's just as maddening as his movement.

But whenever you have a fastball pitcher who's shoehorning in other pitches, you're gonna see the wheels fall off eventually. It's like reading multiple books at the same time..as long as you stay focused, you'll be learning 3 times more than the person just plodding through one book.

But if you lose your place and if your eyes start to glaze over during a bulky paragraph that an inconsiderate editor never thought to break up into more digestable chunks...then you're in trouble and you have to work twice as hard to finding where you left your control, and all the while making sure you don't start mixing up pitches.

Everyone on the Yankees got a hit, except for R-Mart. As far as SAT-style analogies go:

R-Mart : Offense :: Nunez : Defense

Nunez got sent down. That's sad. I think I would've waited a little longer after his error-laden game, I think. I got taken out of the game once in the middle of an inning. I was so angry and embarrassed.

That was the only time that ever happened. I mean, I had gotten pulled a bunch of times, but only after the inning was over. It sucks walking back to the bench in front of everyone. It's like having to sit on the stoop at recess. The consequences of your bad behavior are being put on display for the world to see.

I'm being too dramatic. Nunez, whatever. Don't come back til you do some crow hop drills, etc.

But the REAL hero of the game was Derek Jeter. Of course. I don't think that's true at all, for the record, but the argument has been made that his 18 hour long at -bit where he fouled off something like a dozen pitches, was the play that broke the game wide open.

Meh. It's hard to assign momentum to a situation that, by design, is the opposite of momentum. It's tempered patience. I'd have to say Ibanez really was the star, on account of the whole go-ahead 3 run ding over the right field wall.

I also give a lot of credit to Kuroda for not losing his composure after a lead-off homerun from Ackley, (which landed like 3 feet from my sister's lap. She didn't catch it though because she ducked and ran for cover. Pollinas have no depth perception.)

Cano, 4 for 4 on the day, drove in the 1st run to tie up the game. Seattle scores again when ex-Yank Montero goes deep. Then Ibanez comes and does something great.. to put the Yanks in the lead for good.

(If you read Thursday's game's recap, you'll see I mentioned that Ibanez is a weirdo who mysteriously floats in and out of the roster, showing up to hit celebrity shots, when we need 'em most.)

Andruw Jones homered too, but by then I think everyone had relaxed a little bit by that point. Maybe that's why everyone was trying to make a big deal about the fact it was the first pinch hitter on the Yankees to go yard since 2010.

I am, for what it's worth, in the "there's no such thing as a meaningless game or a meaningless run" school of thought. They're all important. Which means a Great Job, Andruw! would be appropriate.

You know who else did a great job? The bullpen, who patched together another sterling performance.  Color Swatch, Wade, Logan, and D-Rob. The motley crew of arms that lack the bells and whistles but get the job done. They're like New York's way of being like, "Ugh, fine FINE, is everyone happy now? Look! We incorporated Money Ball stuff. Because it's 'topical.' Ahhh so crazy!"

Wade, Phelps, and Color Swatch's combined salary is about 1.5 million. Combined. I like it. I want them to being like the guys in Stand By Me. Different but bound by their shared love of cherry flavored Pez.

It's almost 6am. And today's gonna be a big day. (I really would love it if it could become accepted and correct practice to use "tomorrow" when referring to the day that is in place AFTER you've already gone to sleep.

"Today" should mean the 24 hour-period that occurs before you retire for the evening. Then you wouldn't have to do that whole "well, technically.." thing, when you say "See you tomorrow!" after midnight.

I'm going to go to bed now, because I have it on good authority that a lot of this post is toeing the line between sleepy rambling.,..and straight up sleep talking.

So, good night/morning, and I'll see you tomorrow/today for Yankee (and Ranger) magic time.