"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

May 15, 2012

First of all, THIS:


Words fail me. Much in the way Mo's ACL failed him. And much in the way that the Yanks failed to win.

Segue into game recap:

I think I drove my point home yesterday about why and how much I hate losing to the O's. So I don't think we need to beat a dead horse. In terms of other things that were driven home, the Yankees didn't pitch in much to that end.

And Chen the ROOKIE FROM TAIWAN pitched excellently outside of the boilerplate Grandy homerun. Oh yeah, that's another point that has been driven home to insane excess. The fact Chen is from Taiwan. I remember this being a huge issue the last time he pitched against us.

Fatso was not his usual self on the mound. He walked about 28 batters. But it's like the dog years kind of thing. 28 batters in Tubbo Terms. So that's 4. No one was happy about this, but good grief, even for someone who hates losing to the O's as much as I do, I think by and large we may be blowing this out of proportion.

I attribute this to the juxtaposition of Fatso's girth with the rookie from Taiwan's Taiwanness. The dialectic is overwhelming and we're responing accordingly? I don't know, but let's put things in perspective.

As soon as figure out how to do so, I'll be sure to seamlessly weave that in, ideally dovetailing it with an appropriate youtube clip.

It would appear that every time to Yankees lose in a particularly aggravating manner (like almost being shut out by the rookie from Taiwan), the universe raises the stakes by throwing another player into the DL chasm.

D-Rob's on the 15 day DL, which probably isn't that big a deal but, once again, it's the aggregate total of "argh what next!" moments. I hate thinking like that though. It's better to look at everything as an isolated incident, with zero relation to anything else that has happened.


D-Rob's on the 15 day DL, which probably isn't that big a deal but, once again, it's the aggregate total of "argh what next!" moments. I hate thinking like that though. It's better to look at everything as an isolated incident, with zero relation to anything else that has happened.

(That doesn't apply to when you're assessing whether someone's lying to you. That also doesn't apply when you're watching a playoff game. In both cases, every single thing that has happened has significance.)

Which is why Lauren has to spend most of the playoffs sitting in the bathroom.

And why I spent most of 2009 standing outside the bar window watching the games.

There's very little to say about the Yanks' offense on this game. Aside from the Cano double which allowed Grandy's short-porch ding to cut the lead in half, the Yanks were just going down like fainting goats.

It should also be noted that in a move mildly reminiscent of Jeffrey Maier, an unidentified fan in a Yankee jacket may or may not have interfered with Xavery's fielding of Grandy's homerun.

On the one hand, I'm thinking that he's a Yankee fan and hence I should automatically side with him.

On the other hand, who brings gloves to games?? I don't care if you have homerun territory seats. That is all the more reason to NOT bring a glove. Additionally, Xavery very much had a shot at catching that. And, God, who KNOWS what things would be like right now if zealous NYY fan had shown better judgement. We'll never know.

We can hazard guesses though, and do you think that maybe there's a part of key decision makers' minds that use Steve Bartman as the rubric for evaluating the level of interference? It's kind of like getting your eyes checked out. And when you look at the sideways Es, they're blurry as hell and awful.

Then for about 7 hours, you go through this ordeal that borders of stress-inducing, of picking between identical lens. And part of me loses sight (seriously no pun intended) of the fact I'm trying to pick out the most appropriate lenses, and instead I start trying to pick the "right" one. Like they're trick questions, and first I'll choose the stronger one.

And the next one, I'll say, "no that's better." But I worry that they're actually the same strength and the eye doctor is thinking, "Great, another blind idiot who reads too much WebMD."

SIMILARLY,  I don't give a crap what prescription strength they land on, because I know how blurry it get me, and I know how anything short of that blurriness is almost splitting hairs and hence you separate things into "Inference as Bad as Bartman" and "Everything Else."

Everything (not everything) Else about the game:

JJ Hardy continued to be suspiciously good, and by that I mean I know the second I try to bring on him onto 1/CYCp3para2col9, he'll pull a Carlos Pena or something. He's actually like a microcosm of the entire O's team, really. I can't really tell if this is legit or just a whimsical trip that they're making, into the land of contention.

Jones was having a ball out there. Homerun (11th of year. Accurate stat!) and then in the end of the game, when the Yankees were thinking they could maybe pull it off, he ran around the bases a la Benny the Jet.

Where's our base stealing game at, by the way? GGBG is DLing it, but if the Yankees are going to treat getting on base like it's the fine china that only comes out for special occasions, then maybe they shouldn't let any grass grow under their feet, yeah?

Anyways, on a scale of movie sound effects, this game was probably something along the lines of this.

When it reaches this, then we can escalate our panic.

Until then, time to focus on beating the Canadians!