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In my first job out of college, I was eating lunch once with the 2 golden gods of the agency (one of which was my boss), and we had ordered from Brother Jimmy's in Grand Central. And my boss looks at his meal and says, "I'm going to write a letter to my mom about this."

And I said, "Oh, is she really into southern comfort food?"

And he deadpans, "No, it's an expression. When something's not so great, you say, 'nothing to write home about.' This is kind of great, so I'm going to write home about it."

The Yankees tonight were kind of great. Well, they won, so if we're recalibrating our standards of great, then the Yanks were a 6.5 out of a 11. (PS, how has there not been an area code system of rating developed for sports? Or is it just not worth it? I'd like to pitch this idea to Bill James and see if he eats it up or spits it out. Pause.)

Ima keep this brief since HisDudeness may or may not be making an appearance later on tonight. I don't have a WHOLE lot to say about this game anyway, on account of not wanting to have to be snapped back rubberbandishly if tomorrow doesn't present with a W.

Ahhh, I haven't subscribed to such a mentality since high school and I was all Weezer-ed out:

So why bother, it's gonna hurt me, it's gonna kill when you desert me...etc etc. JUST DON'T DESERT US, YANKEES. See, I'm already getting agitated and this was a good day, yeah?

To sum up:

Yanks now have sole possession of the AL East. Yeah, back the eff up birds.

R-Mart came through, his turn in the Head-Toss with the Fire-Gang (he got the talent hot potato).

Longorio led the scoring in beginning of game, A-Rod answered with a ribbie double. Zobrist tripled.

Zobrist is such a mystery, and not a mystery in the sense that he himself is an enigma but rather the way he is perceived is odd. He gets like a bunch of applause and credit etc, and these recognitions come in spurts. Then they die. And they never really fully do his talent justice.

Ben Zobrist is a beast. He's f'n good. And fantasy experts and analysts will say that and then kind of back off. I don't get it. I feel like they're trying to avoid scaring him off or something. Like when you get all excited a boy you like texts you and then you excitedly write back. And then you don't want to look too eager so you follow it up with, "Gotta go, meeting a date for dinner." That'll show him! And you too, Zobrist.

This is a good reason why the Yankees were at "kind of great" status (at most): 15 strikeouts on 139 pitches

The Devil Rays tied it up in the 6th, and I see the score is 4-4 and I'm on the verge of tears.

Then something stupid happened in the 7th (stupid for the D-Rays, dumb luck for us) and the Yanks manage to jump in the lead 6-4.

The AP account of it is much more narratively effective than my stab at it:

Andruw Jones and Steve Pearce singled to start the seventh off Matt Moore (10-9) before Jayson Nix moved the runners to second and third with a sacrifice bunt. Jeter, who had hits in his previous three at-bats, hit a grounder to Johnson. With the infield playing in, the second baseman's throw was off the mark allowing pinch-runner Ichiro Suzuki and Pearce to score as the Yankees took a 6-4 lead.

Thank God, because I think it's safe to say that the Yankees will probably never win another game ever when they're trailing in the 9th. That's ok. It's like how not everyone can be good at rallies. The Yankees can be like Boof in Teen Wolf. Content with their strengths and weaknesses.

Anyways, just tying the word "Boof" made me thing of poof. Poofed. I'm poofed? No, that's not right. I'm pooped? Whatever. Go Yankees!

I'm real tired, so hopefully HisDudeness comes in for middle relief later.

Goodnight, moon.

Ego defessus nimium facere latinam hac nocte. Passione existens defessus.


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