"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Paradise isn't lost in the sense that it isn't won. Paradise is lost in the sense that it has been misplaced. It was previously in the Yankees possession about 2 months ago, and then the Yankees put it down somewhere and forgot where.

But Milton nailed it when he said getting out of hell is an f'n pain in the ass.

My ex used to say that his vision of hell was spending an eternity waiting in line to GET to hell. He might not be too far off (however, before we admire his wit, I'd be remiss in not reminding everyone he also said this), because these games like today, this stupid losses against piss ant spoilers like the Jays--they're hell. They're not actual hell, but they make anticipation hell.

Joba blows the game with a double to Rajai Davis, but he hasn't worked himself into a "Justin" demotion because he's been pretty well as of late. So I'm not going to burn him at the stake just yet because he blew an INCREDIBLY important game. As nuts as I can be, I've come to value my ability to be fair.

Also, who can in good faith blame this on Joba when the offense demonstrated a categorical aversion--nay, contempt!--for getting hits with RISP. 2 for 11, and both of them were singles, neither of them resulting in a run.

(My dad would probably determine this to be "statistically impossible," which it isn't, but I think he's like the equivalent of a guy who's been with his high school sweetheart for like the last 7 years and he knows he's going to eventually marry her, so he reasons that he's earned the right to cheat on her. Except in this case, the girl is "math." My dad=math prodigy who indiscriminately identifies everything as statistically impossible. He's earned it.)

Anyways, it's NOT statistically impossible for the Yankees to not make the playoffs. It would be difficult, but it's definitely very much within the realm of possibility that a shitty series against the Sock would at best relegate them to a Wild Card, at worst eliminate them completely.

The idea of Boston being the reason the Yankees miss the playoffs in a situation where it's nearly statistically impossible to do so AND when the Yankees at one point were 10 games up on the world?

I'd rather participate in one of those scenes from Saw. ("Do you want to play a game? Well, you can't because Boston eliminated you. Live or die, make your choice." Die. Easy.)

Speaking of Saw, kind of sad there isn't a Saw 8 this Halloween. But you know what there IS? BLACKOUT HAUNTED HOUSE 2012. Last year me and the old guard at LLNS went to the haunted house in the wax museum. Which was awesome, but unlike Blackout, there are no waivers or disclaimers you have to sign prior to entering, absolving the haunted house proprietors of legal responsibility for the "human contact" that will involve "sexual and violent situations."

I'm in.

On to other horrifying situations, such as the fact the Yankees lost 3-2 today, and cut their lead down to a half game, which threatens to be a 0 game lead if Boston doesn't do their job tonight. I don't like the fact I will be spending Saturday night in a bar rooting for the Red Socks. In fact, it almost makes me physically ill.

Pettitte gets tagged with the L, but he didn't pitch too bad a game. Not too great, but 5 hits in 5 innings and 3 runs is something that the Yankees' offense should be able to cover. Especially when there was opportunity after opportunity presenting itself.

But no, the Yankees want to keep things interesting. I want it to start pouring out, lightening thunder the works, to handcuff me home so I can avoid cheering for Boston in a public place. Let me indignify myself in private, please.

Yankees jumped to an early 2-0 lead in the 1st, and maybe we should've sense trouble when both were sac flies. I know, I know. There's nothing wrong with a sac fly. It gets a run in and all, so no reason to complain.

But I think they're telling to some degree. It means you're getting them the cheap way. The Yankees should be loosening the purse strings at this time of year when it comes to how they're collecting runs. ALL IN ALL IN ALL IN!

Rajai Davis, who seems to be in the always-a-bridesmaid-never-a-bride role on my fantasy team, was the star of the game. He answered NY's 2-0 lead with a homerun in the 1st and then reached on an single in the 5th to plate Mathis.

Girardi pulls Pettitte in the 6th, and Joba promptly gives up a double to Hechavarria. It's the last time anyoen scores, so the fact Joba struck out the side in the following inning serves only to underscore the fact he didn't lose game.

He wasn't pitching badly. He inherited runners. And this may be the first time since the Midge Debacle that I've ever defended Joba. It's most likely going to be the last time I defend him, too.

I will also rush to the defense of ARod because it really was his split second decision at 3rd that really cost us the game. Fielding a Rajai's game-tying single in the 5th was a mistake. He should've let it go foul, but that's easy to say now.

It's like a cop shooting someone who draws a gun on him. The rulebook and seasoned instincts tell you that this means to shoot. So you do. The unfortunate sequelae should not be subjected to harsh judgement.

Yeah, you know who I'm going to blame irrationally? Swish. Only because he called Sunday's game a must win. It's not a must-win, clown. It's a really important-to-win, but not a must. So just put the kabosh on this nonsense now. Nip it in the bud and just focus on getting your R-I-t-W game tomorrow, please.

But in the interesting of being pleasant, it bears mentioning that Swish was 2 for 3. And in the same vien, it should be noted that the Yankees WERE hitting the ball. Well. That was encouraging. Cano was also 2 for 3, Sneach was 3 for 5...just no one really hit when we needed 'em to.

So, in the grand scheme of losses, this was maybe a 5 out of 11. 11 being the absolute worst kind of loss, 1 being the rare instance of it barely raising your blood pressure at all, not even a disappointed sigh.

Just don't let it happen again, Yankees. I don't think my body is in any kind of shape to take the kind of stress that comes from being in a spot of chasing 1st place with 3 games left against Boston.

Deos de ludis--adjuva nos foras. Boni sumus populum. Realiter.