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You can't, in fact, win them all.

The O's lose, and so do we.

Nunez ruined everything.

He would NOT win the MBfrB award that I invented in my last post.


Yeah, that's right. You heard me.

The A's avoid a sweep, and while it sucks losing a game like that (given the context of the situation ie the playoffs/division standings), it's not like yesterday where it was a realllly hard-fought game.

You can't say that about games where you got 3 errors tagged to your line score. Swisher and Ibanez showed up for the game, but the rest of the team didn't provide a whole lot of timely offense. While Jeter did got 2 for 4, he struck out with 2 men on when the Yanks were down by 1. 2 for 9 as a team with RISP, and both of those were from Swisher and Ibanez.

Here's the thing, though. I'm disappointed they lost, but not mad (maybe a little at Nunez). But remember how a few weeks ago we all wanted to strangle the Yankees for playing like they were half drunk Popples? That was infuriating. But this game? Just annoying.

What IS infuriating, howevah, is the fact that the f'n fans at the game were BOOING AROD. I was spitting nails when I heard that. What the hell is wrong with you? He was 0 for 5, but do you boo anyone else when they put up a donut?

Arod is the biggest reason the Yankees won the World Series in 2009. He shows up for the games, he gets hits, he steals, his fielding is so superior that it's difficult to even tell how challenging those plays are because he makes it look easy. And he has a bad game and you throw him under the bus like that? I don't think I've ever seen a player held to such skewed double standards before.

So, it's kinda like being at the craps table. You're having a hot roll and everyone's cheering you and you're winning money for everyone. You can't seem to make a mistake, you're rolling in the deep. And then you roll a 7 and crap out.

Most people graciously cheer your long run, but there's always some yahoo who gets all affronted. As if you could just roll forever without hitting a 7. You gotta screw up at some point.

Speaking of, Kuroda gets tagged with the loss. His pitches didn't seem to be any different than those that he has thrown in the slew of W's he's amassed this season, but my dad says "It's all in the control." He really was a just a treasure trove of illogical gems today.

"Kris, kris. Watch this. Look. I'm gonna predict the next pitch."


"Are you gonna predict it before it's thrown?"

"Yes. It''s gonna be a little high."

Cespedes grounds out to the pitcher.

"See?? See??"

"That wasn't high!"

"So what?"

Well, that's a good point. You can't argue with that airtight logic.

You gotta hand it to the pen, though. No runs after Kuroda gives up 5.

Really, the only person in this game who didn't earn his paycheck was Nunez. Once in a blue moon, he'll get a hit and make up for the inevitable run he's cost us. Or he'll get a walk-off error.

It didn't occur to me yesterday, but I think it's actually creepy how everything Nunez does is in some way related to an error.

I'm imagining the dude's locker is just like tape, mitt oil, deoderant, and 18 bags of white-out. Plus, it probably looks like this:

You make so many mistakes, Eduardo.

So, yeah, his screw up was really looming large when the A's broke the game open, and took the lead. The Yanks could muster up any mystique etc. Cano strikes out to end the game.

Arod was sooo close to shutting up all the bitches who were booing him, hits a long ball caught at the warning track.

Balfour does well against the Yankees.

The A's are probably going to be in the playoffs, since who the hell knows what the Angels have been doing these days.

The White Sox and Detroit are doing their own thing in the central division. Like the table in the lunchroom the Goonies would sit at. In my mind anyway.

The Yankees magic number to clinch the AL East is 11.

There are only 10 games left of baseball. Weird.

Minnesota, Jays, Socks.

This season seems to be playing out so strangely for some reason. I don't know why.

I bet it's Sneach's doing. As awesome as he is (I've come around), he really is a weirdo. He gets to third at some point in the game and starts going all "Angels in the Outfield," flapping his arms, etc. No idea.

And I think it's hilarious beyond the telling of it that he doesn't put his bat back in the rack like the rest of the team. He takes it with him. To where, no one knows. We just know he holds onto it. Like the people at work who write their names on their food.

I like to go by the philosophy that if it's not mine, don't eat it. Writing JOAN on it 48 times in giant block letters isn't necessary.

Howevah, I think I could die happy, from a baseball fan perspective, if Sneach wrote "SNEACH" all over his bat with a sharpie.

Oh, wait, he doesn't speak English. (Right.)


That is what Google Translate came up with  for "Please write Sneach on your bat so that everyone knows that it belongs to you."

However, upon reverse translation, this is what Google Translate comes up with:

"Please write in your butt Sneach everyone because it knows that it belongs to you."

Outstanding. I'm LOL-ing. And I use that expression veryyy sparingly, despite the fact I actually laugh at everything. Now I just use LOL to avoid addressing a question.

"What are you up to tonight?"

"Hey! Not sure. LOL."

Alright, anyways, so let's move on from this game and focus on winning the next 10.

I'm concerned about all of them, because you know Boston is going to be playing like their mother's lives depend on it. Minnesota is...well, ok, Minnesota. But they're so innocuous at first blush, that at second blush they seem scary. Blue Jays are bad to everyone else except the Yankees. And we play them 4 times.

I had to have a spinal tap on Friday, and the neurologist goes, "Ok I didn't want to say anything earlier because you seemed so nervous and all, but now that it's almost over, I have to say that I'm trying really hard not to laugh right now."

"Wtf are you talking about?"

"This is just such a picture of New York, you know?"

"Oh yeah, spinal taps and pizza, that's what NY does, yo! No."

"Well, you're lying there in hospital gown with basically a bamboo shoot sticking out of your back dripping cerebrospinal fluid into a tube."

"I'm concerned that you think that's funny."

"No, the funny part is that at no point in all your question asking and everything did it ever occur to you to take off your Yankee hat. I've just never seen this before. It's so New York!"

"You think that's crazy? Trust me, by the time you see me next week, this will look normal."

Time to brace ourselves for an "exciting" week of baseball!

Salvum fac motibus agebantur. Da mihi pacem.


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