"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

CONGRATULATIONS TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES!!!

Sorry about the delay on this--as you can imagine, I was flying a little low to the ground this morning. I woke up in the city and it was beautiful day out and I remembered that the Yankees beat the O's last night and life was good.

It still is. Because the Yankees have finally gotten rid of those pesky Orioles. Thank God. Good try, Baltimore. You gave it a good run, but let's call a spade a spade her. Hammel vs Fatso? What did you think was going to happen?

Cheers!

I went to the game with Alex R. and his coworker buddies, who are a murderer's row of awesome Yankee fans. The "aggressive-booers-of-opposite-teams" types that I adore.

(I don't know how it works out like this, but I think I have maybe at most 3 friends that AREN'T lawyers. And every time I hang with lawyers it makes me even more rueful that they get to have their job measured by a win loss record and I don't.)

Anyways, so Alex 100% gets the Chevy Player of the Game award for last night. Stanley and Amir get runners up for joining me in harassing the Fordham baseball players with Red Socks caps 2 rows in front of us.

Before the game Alex tells me, "Amir is celebrating his anniversary tonight."

"His anniversary of what?"

"Um, his marriage?"

(My mom will use that exchange as a testament to how low marriage ranks on my priority list. I don't think that'd be entirely inaccurate.)

His 14-year anniversary, to be exact. "Ooh, you know what that means?"

"That they've been married 14 years?"

"NOOO. Well, yes. But also that Granderson is going to have a big game!"

What a game. What a game. What a night. Fatso was brilliant. Really, just stunning.

I was in the bathroom when the first run was scored, and I alllllmost didn't return. Because, you know, the reason they scored was because I had to go to the bathroom.

The game started with two hard hit balls that went deep. Oh, shit. This game was going to be grueling.

Who But WB Ibanez. I don't if that makes sense, but I just spent the last 20 minutes making that on PowerPoint, so it's going in. (pause.)

But my God, Tubbo is good. 9 innings. 4 hits. 1 run. 9 strikeouts. Unreal. What the hell would we do without the big guy?

Can't we just clone him and make many more of him (as cloning would suggest)?

Any other pitcher on the mound would have been Trouble with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for Perfect game. Which is what Not Cole Hamels was doing against us for about 5 innings.

Bottom 5 and Tex singles, STEALS SECOND (I know!), then Who But ZPack#1 drives him in to put the Yanks up 1-0.

Sneach doubles in Jeter an inning later, making it 2-0, and then in the bottom of the 7th...TA-DA!...Grandy goes yard.

SEE? I told you Grandy would have a big game! Happy 14th Anniversary of marriage to Amir and happy 1st hit for Grandy since the Reagan administration.

Baltimore singles in a run in the 8th but pishposh, no match for Round Boy, who pitches a complete game and makes the final out of the game by getting Wieters to ground out.

See ya, birds. At least you didn't have the worst exit from the playoffs, which would belong to the Nationals. The best team in baseball for most of the year, and they had a 6-0 lead in Game 5. At home. And then the Cardinals manage to beat them 9-7 with a 4-run 9th inning.

Man, StL fans...cough, Chris Dorrian, cough...were very happy campers last night. Congrats, birds. Not you, Orioles. The birds that won.

Also, congrats to the Yankees! You know what was also awesome last night? After the game, we're getting after it on 161st street at Billy's, and it's bedlam up in the Bronx really, and Alex checks the time and he goes, holy shit.

"What, what is it??"

"It's 9:00."

"Shut up."

"Yes! It's only 9!"

Amazing. I like these 5:00 games after all.

Life is good. Time for Detroit. Here we go....

Facturi estis latratote tota moriuntur, parum il cannus cat? Vadis ad morsum?