18 minutes ago
Why wasn't he at the game then? "I was having dinner with a little someone known as GENE WILDER. Yeah, maybe you've heard of him? Yeah." Then he launched into a payroll diatribe, and Lauren knew this was my "What are you, McFly? Chicken?" equivalent. Or Roger Rabbit's "Shave and a Haircut."
She intervened and staved off bloodshed, and that was just the FIRST time of the night she saved the day. (Saved the night, I guess. But that sounded weird, which is something I ALWAYS try to avoid.) Lauren also saved the night by writing the recap of tonight's game, so I could get some sleep!
Alright, here she goes! THANK YOU, SISTER. And thank you for annotating it, and for closing with Latin, and for this.
I like to go OVERboard.
This recap is dedicated to Lyle Overbay. Originally because I like making puns out of his last name, but serendipitously, he did some important things today. And here are a couple things related to what he did, and what I then did with his name:
Situation: the first time I saw Lyle on screen tonight.
My reaction: that man looks ancient
My pun: “more like Lyle Over-THE-HILL!”
Explanation: At this point there’s not a lot of familiar faces on this team. I was at the game on Monday and every time I saw…whoever that catcher was…get up to the plate, I was incredulous that he was on the Yankees.
So when I saw Overbay, I was blown away that such an old fella could still play baseball. I probably should be more concerned about my apparent short-term memory issue.
Luckily, I came up with an awesome pun so all my concerns were gone! (also lucky was that I wrote down all the things I thought about throughout the game, so that I didn't have to actually remember my awesome puns.)
Situation: Lyle (wisely) does not advance to third base after a flyball to center field is caught.
My reaction: I am irrationally mad that Lyle has not landed at third.
My pun: “great. Way to not be Lyle OVER-TO-THIRD.”
Explanation: At this point you may have noticed that I was really excited about my “over-the-hill” joke, and never really got back to that original glory. But if you keep saying the same joke over and over, it gets funnier. [LP1]
a. The cleaners had the flu so Houston had to wear theBoston Red Sox uniforms. Because it was either leather jackets, or thisridiculous thing, for you. [LP2]
b. After 2 takes on the Lyle Overbay puns, I got creative and moved on to other words.
My reaction: There is a conspiracy unfolding wherein the Astros are really the Red Sox in disguise.
My pun: “WHOston are we really playing?”
Explanation: I’m really, really bad at puns. But seriously, there were points during the game when the jerseys were angled in a way that it was just OBVIOUS that it didn't say Houston at all. It said BOSTON. And there was a guy named Clemens!
Oh the Yankees won, with my favorite score: 4-5.