"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

FIRST WIN.

THUHHHHH YANKEES WIN!

Well, that was fun!

I laughed a lot during the game, especially during the last 3 innings, because the announcers were acting like it was a 17-3 game in the 2nd inning. Or the way announcers act when it's the 18th inning and they forget where they are and start slipping into micronaps.

Yeah, but this game in the 7th inning-ish, and the silliness really started with a comment that made me giddy... a fairly non sequitor reference to Arod's walk-off error against the Mets.

And then from there, they began talking about all the dance moves Brian Roberts was doing on first base. (For the record, I counted a total of zero dance moves, but, you know, semantics.) This segued into an all out giggle-fest that touched upon such topical issues as Emmit Smith on Dancing With the Stars, and the like.

Also, it was a 4-2 game. Pretty exciting, really. I mean, I know this is about the time when Sterling starts talking about shit like running into Bernie Williams at the supermarket and how Bernie's a great GREAT guy who, you know, Suzyn, LOVES. PICKLES. And here's the count. Ball four.

Nah, this wasn't an exciting game or anything.

But, speaking of counts, apparently they're pretty tough. I mean, you will hear NO ARGUMENT FROM ME about how math is mega challenging. HOWEVAH, I'd like to think that in a situation where my livelihood is primarily based on keeping on top of a pitch count, I'd be able to keep track of it without convening a mid-inning summit of minds, and a gratuitous deployment of the PITCH COUNT REVIEW ALLOWANCE.

Seriously! I mean, even if I blacked out as the announcers clearly had, I would have just made something up. I would NEVER want to admit to my fellow ump coworkers, the thousands of attending fans, and the millions of tv viewers that when it comes down to it, all the technology in the world can't replace the old fashioned beauty of an abacus.

Somewhere, typewriter and snail mail advocates are jumping up and high fiving in triumph.

The Yankees, by the by, are also doing that. Because they won!

Because Yangervis Solarte is a stud that I obviously immediately picked up off waivers because I'm an impulse shopper and because I only have one Yankee on my team so far. Forget all the stuff I said yesterday about him being a weirdo for wearing a gold chain.

Apparently that Robinson Sheffied swing of his is more than a little potent, as the neophyte went 3 for 3 with 2 runs and a ribbie. And a SICK catch at 3rd that prompted my favorite expression: "Can't hit em harder than that!"

Sure you could. Sure you could, Kay. You could hit it so hard that it took someone's head off. Or at the very least, socks. But I'll give you that it was an f'n smoked rope to 3B. It spun around Solarte like a top but it was a great catch. And he smiled, dimply. He should call his parents after this game, because they're gonna wanna know ALL the DETAILS.

"Did you get the ball?? For God's sake, Yangy, please tell me you got the ball. Did everyone want your autograph afterwards? I bet that Derek Jeter guy did. You know, I'm not just saying this because I'm your mother, but I saw him looking at you and saying 'Why can't I hit like that guy?' I'm telling you!"

GGBG and Sneach looked great. Espleshly Sneach, and no one really ever answered my question about why in God's name he wasn't playing games 1 and 2?? He's such a little sneach around the bases! Remember when he scored from 2nd on a dropped pop up to the pitcher/catcher/3B?

Yeah, me neither, because it happened so fast that normal measurements of time can't accurately capture it. Sneah doesn't believe in the whole time continuum thing. Badass.

Unlike games 1 and 2, there was an inside out effect of the lineup, in that we got nada from our heart of the order, and key hitting from the bookends. Adorable.

The other Yankee Roberts made his "I know, I know, I'm not Mo, but please can we put a cap on the number of mentions of this to around 10 a week?" debut. He did well. He's NOT MO, THOUGH. He's not.

Also, I don't mean to be a dick, but I goggled it a lot, and what's wrong with Brett "Astros Pitcher of the Year" Oberholtzer's face, skin-wise? You'd think the reigning 2013 APotY Champ could be afforded some photoshop luxuries with that title, no?

Yankees stranded fewer runners (6) and were 3 for 7 with RISP and they won the game and it was AMAZING. They came from behind (pause) and gutted it out and wore down the opposing pitchers for 158 pitches.

Nova was Nova-y, which means stellar but not super dazzling, if that makes any sense at all. He is usually impressive, but never zingingly (sp? word, even?) spectacular, which I think is because his outs are groundouts and he looks intense most of the time.

Usually that kind of out-producer has a Chien-Mien Wang-esque aplomb, while Nova intensity is more akin to Kyle Farnsworth strikeout lunatics. I'll tell you Suzyn, Baseball's a funny game.

I, for one anyways, thought it was fun. HERE WE GO!!!!!