"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

CYC: So, you heard Damon's gone.
Laur: Yeah, to the Tigers or something, right?
CYC: I feel bad for him, he seemed like a good guy.
Laur: Detroit's not so bad, it gets a bad rap. It could be worse. It could've been Kansas City or something.
CYC: You know he played for them originally, right?
Laur: He did?
CYC: And I think he's from there, too.
Laur: Oh. Well, then maybe KC wasn't a good example.

From ESPN.com

Johnny Damon has agreed to a one-year, $8 million deal with the Detroit Tigers.

The 36-year-old Damon hit .286 with 24 homers for the New York Yankees last season. He likely would bat leadoff for the Tigers, filling the void left when Detroit dealt Curtis Granderson to the Yankees.

Part of me feels really bad for Damon. The other part of me is thrilled the Damon watercooler talk is finally seeing its long overdue denouement.

Ok. He's gone. He was dealt to another team. We got Granderson. They got Damon. No harm, no foul. I'm pretty sure the Yankees will live to survive this. Besides, it's not like Detroit's a bad team. Sometimes their Detroitness eclipses the reality they're actually decent. It's like the Lions and city itself are such a wreck that I forget about the Red Wings and potential-laden Tiggers.

I don't know, I know I spent 4 years spitting vitriol at the guy when he was in Beantown, but then after the initial shock of hearing his name incorporated into the RF bleachers' roll call wore off, I really started to like the guy. Those little anecdotal blurbs that run across the screen a la Little League World Series style more often than not had me unduly impressed with him.

So in honor of Damon leaving the Yankees and heading for greener pastures in Michigan--btw I just had to google Detroit to find out what state it's in--here's my list of Reasons I'll Miss Damon That Have Little to Nothing at All to Do With His Value as a LFer on the Yankees.

1.) On August 8, 2001, in a game in Oakland against the Red Sox, Damon hit a liner down the right field lines and the ball rolled into a beer cup.

I read this, I read "Beer Pong." Any player who understands the importance of sinking a ball into a beer cup is a player after my own heart. (Speaking of, I think I spent as many hours playing beer pong this weekend as I did studying for my English Comprehensive Capstone Exam in college.)

I honestly feel that this pretty much covers it for me:



Sad. That may the list topper of things I fear I will never outgrow, as my credibility as an adult continues to decline...

2.) He publicly rushed to the defense of A-Rod after Torre carelessly threw him under the bus.

Damon spoke out about the A-Fraud comments in Joe Torre's book. On hand for the 29th annual Thurman Munson awards, Damon is quoted in today's New York Post as saying:

"[A-Rod] is just a great guy who works harder than anybody," Damon added. "Alex is one of the greatest players ever, and I would put my odds on him to win another MVP this year."

Damon later added that he has no intention of reading Joe Torre's book.

3.) He never takes shots at anyone.

We always lionize Jeter for being one of the classiest guys in the game, and he undoubtedly is, but so is Damon.


4.) When he became a Yankee, he became a Yankee.

Think about it. Think about that moment in December when you first heard that Damon was going to be wearing pinstripes. And you're lying if you claim you were excited.

I remember being at home playing Scattegories and getting a text message from my sister's boyfriend, "Welcome to the Yankees, Damon." I was sputtering and spitting and throwing the 20-faced die around with aggressive abandon.

Who'd have thunk things would have played out like this?

5.) "Good way to start. Get embarrassed on the first play."

Self-deprecating humor goes a loooonng way with me. I never expect to see sarcasm come out of famous people. It's like they relinquish all dry wit upon signing their contract for celebrity status.

6.) He's of military stock.

Johnny Damon was born in Fort Riley, Kansas. His father was a staff sergeant in the United States Army, stationed in Thailand. Damon, born at Ft. Riley, an Army base in Kansas, spent much of his early childhood as an “Army bright” moving to several bases from Okinawa, Japan, to West Germany, before his father left the Army and settled the family in Orlando, Florida, during Damon’s preschool years.

Probably one of the main reasons Ted Williams is my favorite player of all time is because he left his superior career as a baseball legend to fight for his country. Damon didn't exactly go that far, but his respect for patriotism is evident.

******

So there's that. Damon is gone. Farewell, soldier. You'll be missed. The rampant Damon speculation game will not be.

And in weirder Yankee news...

Chan Ho Park is coming to pitch for the Yankees.

Ok.... sure, I guess. Why not. I just got a bad taste in my mouth from this guy from the World Series. I had beef with him last year when I accused him of spitting on the ball. Which, actually, wasn't so much about him as it was about the fact Mariano Rivera got crucified for something that he never did, while Park's potential foray into illegality went untouched.

But, uh, welcome to the team, CHP.

I don't understand this, but as Cashman eloquently explains:

As for Park fitting into an already full bullpen, Cashman said, "The more, the merrier. You can never have enough."

HAHAHAHHHAHA. The more, the merrier?? That's the philosophy guiding the bullpen construction? Awesome. Cash has been hanging with Swish too much.

Coming up...

My "bold predictions" for the coming season. And I may be playing it a little fast and loose with the term "bold." But "Gamut of Outlandish to Conservative Conjectures" didn't roll off the proverbial tongue as well.