"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Hughes looks great. So do our bats. Cano is just...well, words fail me. He's like not even a real person. He's playing like freaking Roy Hobbes right now.

GGBG went yard, and that's only the 4th time we've been able to utter that line.

Also, it was like oppressively hot today. I missed today's game because I forgot to DVR it before I left for my softball games. Me and Matt walked from 88th and 2nd to 64th and Central Park West, and I think I lost about 12 pounds of sweat in the process. Which I'm sure is a very attractive mental image.

To make matters worse, we got swept in our double header, I went 0 for about 982. Oh, and I had an E. 0-fers suck always, but I can shake them off. E's not so much. I mean, everyone has a bad hitting day, but making an error in softball is like missing a free throw. There's literally no excuse for it. I am now judging myself and marinating in the shame and disgrace that results from such an inisidious sin.

At least the Yanks won. It would have been nice to have the game taped for when I got home, but the greatest gift was truly the 20-degree shower I took for about 6 hours. In the absence of an ocean, nothing beats an ice-shower. And while I forgot to DVR the game, I did NOT forget to throw a few tshirts into the freezer. Which is not to keep the severed heads company so much as it is to have wearable ice. Naturally.

The Yanks managed to play in 93 degree heat though, with a nice handful of homeruns, which many have been because they figured if they went yard, they wouldn't have to run very fast or very often. Good thinking.

Tex had 4 hits, Cano a 3-run ding, and Swish a 2-run ding. Hughes held the Sox to 4 hits over 7 innings. Never underestimate the value of off speed pitching. Mariano Rivera may be one of the last of a dying breed of 1-trick ponies, and it's only because he's a closer. The guy's been pitching in the pros for more than a decade, and his cutter is STILL undecipherable.

But as for the rest of the league's, and as for the world of starting pitchers, the more pitches the better. Which may seem intuitive, so more specifically, it's the presence of a changeup that is really defining today's greatest hurlers. If they can get batters off balance with a stupifying changeup, they're on their way to greatness.

In Ozzie Guillen news:

White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was ejected during Gardner's at-bat in the seventh after a prolonged argument over balls and strikes with plate umpire Dan Iassogna. It was the second time Guillen has been tossed this season and the 21st time in his career.

Guillen told reporters he was up until nearly 3 a.m. watching news of the failed bomb attack that took place just two blocks from the team's hotel in Times Square on Saturday night.

I am really shocked, actually, the Ozzie waited til the series closer to give up some classic Guillen moves. But this was great. And his response/rationale is utterly baffling and outstanding. Is anyone else having trouble finding the connection between arguing balls and strikes and staying up til 3am watching the news of a failed bomb attack?

"Listen, NORMALLY, I'd be completely even tempered and ambivalent to pitch location. But everyone knows that watching car bomb coverage into the middle of the night will destroy anyone's ability to keep their cool and accurately assess the strike zone."

Everyone has lost their mind. Seriously.

So the Yanks take 2 out of 3 from Chicago. In hilarious news, the Red Sux got swept by the Orioles. Today's game, to add insult to injury, was lost in the 10th inning.

I hope it doesn't make me a bad person that that made me feel a little better about my E.