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Stay of execution


So here’s the thing. We don’t play, we can’t lose. But the other thing is that I didn’t think—(nay, I KNEW)—we weren’t going to lose. No way the Yankees were going to lose tonight. I was pretty confident about seeing a game on Thursday. But all of this is easy to say because it was a rain out.

Are you f’n kidding me? A rain out? I was all in position, too! I had my secret weapon on hand! You never really know who the good ones are until there’s a playoff situation and people are confronted with the playoff version of your baseline self. The Strangeman family? They’re the good ones. NO ONE, not my sister/parents/other friends, NO ONE knows how to handle CYC during the postseason like Strange.

So, cheers, Strange. For coming out and for ensuring I had a good view of the tv and for being a good one.

So, yeah, it was kind of like the debate last night in the sense my dad waits for it like it’s the freaking New Year’s Eve ball about to drop. And when it didn’t start on schedule, he lost it, a la Mussina style when a game doesn’t start on time. But unlike Mussina, my dad didn’t do crossword puzzles, so much as he paced and drop f-bombs.

Maybe that’s where I get it from. The pacing and cursing thing.

My interest in politics lingers around the level of my interest in the WNBA, slam poetry, rain forests, and gas prices. And yet, last night I probably watched more of the debate than I did the game. My poor parents were subjected to the CYC musical chairs of superstitions.

Yankee strikes out ? “Ok, Mom, you wear the adjustable hat, dad wears the gray hat, and I’ll wear my hat backwards, let’s see if that works.”

My dad drew the line when I started to involve Mo in this lunacy, as pet cemetery owners are WONT to do. (I swear I could be dangling from a cliff by a Brine Lacrosses keychain lanyard thing, and my dad would still be like, “Did you feed the cat today? DID YOU?”)

So last night:. “ Ok, Mo. Scram. Off my lap. Go sit in the other room facing  Northeast.”

“Kristen. Enough. “

That’s how I knew it wouldn’t be fair to subject them to my inanity tonight. They dodged a bullet, maybe 2 bullets since tomorrow’s schedule was apparently the fruit of Beezlebyb himself. Yeah, nbd. Game 4 at 4:00 on a Thursday. Good move, TBS. Which will heretoforth be identified as “Tortured By Scheduling.”

Yeah, you heard me. TBS. Pshh.

So, in the absence of a game, I’m free to, well, do whatever it is people who don’t like sports do. How do non-fans function in real life? Seriously. What do they talk about?

So today at 4, the Yankees will try to get the game in. This sucks for a lot of reasons, not least of which is the fact that I’ve made a point to avoid my coworkers ever seeing in game mode. It looks like it’s going to be unavoidable today. Hide the staplers.

 

4 Comments:

  1. Infantry_169 said...
    October 18, 2012 at 10:53 AM  
    Lucky for me, I live 4 minutes away from my house, and I get off exactly at 4pm. I'm thinking I may need to stop by the liquor store which is 3 minutes away from where I work and 1 minute from my house - which adds up to 4 (3+1)- and is on the way. I should be there with shot glass in hand before the 1st pitch. Therefore, and while I am still sober, I predict that the Yankees will win or lose by a margin of 4. I vote for the win part in case you're wondering
    Uncle Mike said...
    October 18, 2012 at 11:18 AM  
    I see I'm not the only one who decided on "Stay of Execution" as a blog post title, although I can't release my entry covering yesterday until my lunch hour.
    dustyjacket13 said...
    October 18, 2012 at 7:13 PM  
    infantry_169 lives 4 minutes away from his house? he should probably consider moving. in.
    Anonymous said...
    November 8, 2012 at 11:08 PM  
    It all went downhill when we got swept by the Oakland Pathetics in 4freakin' games. I have been a Yankee fan since I was 5 years old and couldn't handle the weather back east anymore so I moved to San Francisco. Therefore my Yankee doses are so small: in Oakland (where they LOVE to chant, "Yankees suck," and my boys usually show up for 3 games once a year. Gee thanks SF Bay Area. It's always cold here in the summer but the beauty of it is the bullpen is inches from my grasp, and Mo is the most generous and gracious Yank in word, deed, and signatures. Until he wasn't there anymore (this summer). Don't care how well Soriano did; he ain't MO! Which leads me to go to Seattle, where they actually sell Yankees Suck shirts on the corner next to the stadium (where the train blows its horn all flipping night), and Anaheim (oh the horror of the fake rocks near that pit of commercialism next door called Disneyland (aka what else can we make you buy for your children?)I have gone to Chicago to see them play which is a city so besotted by the Cubs they can't see straight(although the Wrigley ivy does rock). One guy shouted to me on the street, "Hey babe you'd be so much hotter with a Cubs visor on your head than that NY thing." Loserass pickup line buddyboy. Also been to Texas to see them play, where the baseball museum offers an opportunity to see BP before the field is open to the public. Made it to Toronto too, where there were more Yankee fans than any of those other "away" venues, so I almost felt at home. It is rough being so far away from the team of your heart and childhood, so I envy you New Yorkers for having the boys in your backyards half of the time. If you really want to hear a sob story: I went to undergrad (BU) and grad school (BC) in Boston. OMG My first apartment on my own was close to Kenmore Square to be near BU, but the flipping lights of Fenway (bandbox dump with rats behind the scoreboard.) Those beasts took all the parking spaces in my neighborhood and had so many drunken brawls on my doorstep. I even dated 2 of those losers (OK only 2 dates for Daniel and 2 for Bobby until I came to my pinstripe senses). If not for the Yes Network I would be "all at sea" as they say in British novels. This Yankee team beat themselves this year. Detroit was a bunch of losers, over glorified by those bozos on TBS. OK so they have "walk on water Verlander" who looked like crap against the SF Giants, Fister, Scherzer, and Cabrera. No not Melky "lap dance at strip joints on steroids", the triple crown "threat" who couldn't hit a beachball against the Giants pitching in the World Series. I mean Cy Young Timmy coming out of the bullpen? Who has that WEAPON? Wish we did but he'd have to cut his hair so it won't fly, and he tokes a bit too much. The freak likes cold summers so it's not gonna work out. What I wanted to see was Prince fatso, standing next to CC Tubbo, or Panda Sandoflab to evaluate which one is FATTEST! Anyway "the Giants won the pennant" and deserved to win the W.S. and I am happy for my new home town, but pissed that they are now talking DYNASTY! Get a grip folks; Got 27 rings? My keychain with that imprinted upon it is not yet obsolete, but I long for the day it is. Hard to enjoy the offseason as I don't do football and hockey, and the NBA is no longer of interest without Bird and Magic. I am hoping all of NY and the tristate homeland recovers from Sandy, and another year without being W.S. Champs. Thoughts, prayers, love to you all and Let's Go Yankees...

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