"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Loss.

So they lost again. Harumph.

It was nice to watch a game at home, though. In the silver lining world. Go home. Have a drink. Turn on YES. And then delight in the ridiculous pre-game catch phrases "they" attach to the pitchers. Who comes up with these things? What do they mean?

Not that intuitive.

Yankee Panky?

Press the reset button?

Sometimes I don't even think the announcers have any idea how they're supposed to speak to these bullets.

It is sort of like when I'm writing a detail aid and I try to do the sneaky copywriter thing of streamlining copy, with the argument that "Well, there's always going to be a sales rep attached to this, so can't the sales rep just speak to the bullet points, instead of having to spell out what every thing means??"

No. No, you cannot. And now I know why. Because no one knows how to speak to abstract phrases that don't mean anything. Understood. Point taken.

You know what? I was supposed to drink Hi-C yesterday, and I didn't. I even had the opportunity to, when I went to Subway, and I stood in front of the soda dispensing machine for so long going back and forth between Hi-C and Nestea and Sprite, that I think the Subway employees were starting to think I was in some kind of a trance. Seriously. I looked over to them at one point, as if to give them a silent plea of help. Help me make this choice.

And they looked at me with some hybrid expression of fear and bemusement. A look to which I've grown well accustomed. Yeah, I don't know why they're not lining up at the door for me, either.

Anyways, the Yankees lost. Again. No punch again. Here's what I got:

I must have seen Youk bat a bajillion times in my day, but I guess it's just now that he is on the Yankees that I'm wondering the etymology, so to speak, of his stance. Where did it come from? In Little League, did his coach say, "No, no, NO. Like this, Kev. Watch me do it. It's important to make sure the head of the bat resembles a scorpion's tale. That's what's most important." He went 2 for 4 though, so maybe we should all accept this key lesson about arthropods and baseball.

This right here is what made the game weird: Youk went 2 for 4, Vernon Wells- 3 for 4, Nunez- 2 for 3. Only other hit was Pronk. Those people comprised the Yankees' offense for yesterday. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE? If ever there was more concrete support for that whole Seinfeld laundry tenet, it's that.

Oh yeah, and Pronk had a ding. I hate calling homeruns "dings," but I do like how it sounds to say Pronk had a ding. Like I'm speaking "cartoon."

Alacazam!

I also don't like the term ding because it falls into my despised list of words that sound like they should mean the opposite of what they actually do:
Ameliorate
Puissant
Pulchritude
(For starters)


Speaking of starters, poor Kuroda got drilled in the hand. And then was forced to stay in the game for reasons unbeknownst to the layman. Then he starting hitting batters, and I kind of wanted both benches to get warned, just because it would have been funny. (You know if it was ANY other pitcher other than this guy, they benches would have been warned. Except, going back to that whole laundry thing, is there still a rivalry between 2 teams that don't know any single player they're facing?)

Bradley Jr, is one such player. He is the equivalent of the singer FOX focuses on in the early audition episodes of American Idol. And then this singer gets all the play and hype going into the actual competition. Bradly Jr, to be sure, could not be more junior. He could TRY, but he would not be successful. His jersey should 100% be revised to say Bradley Fetus. Because that is the only appropriate way to name someone who looks like this.

Sad cat.

My cat was just as confused as I was regarding the game, fyi.

I like how in the background, Boston's new manager is doing to the same thing to his ear as I do when I'm thinking. Which is obsessively pull at it.

Although, he is probably giving a signal. Whereas mine is what is called a "bad habit."

(Last week at a client meeting, we all had to go around and say a bad habit of ours. That was fun. I should've done what everyone else did and pick a habit that wasn't really that bad. Like in interviews when they say, "what's your biggest weakness" and you're supposed to say "working too hard!" Instead, I'll be like, "too distracted by youtube" or something.)

Chris Stewart made a ridic catch in Boston's dugout, which ultimately meant nothing beyond corroborating his pre-season contention that he's really good on defense, so that absolves him of offensive responsibilities. A few Boston players helped him up, "even after he made the catch, which was pretty classy of Boston!"

That's what the booth said. Ha. Yes, it was very classy of Boston, not to drag Stewart into the dugout and go fisticuffs on him after pouring hydrochloric acid on him. Good form, Socks. Good form.

In other, more stat-related news, the Socks saw 177 pitches yesterday. Sweet Christ. Aceves gave up some runs. The Yanks ALMOST came back, but not really. It wasn't like that game last year during the Fenway centennial when fans just sort of knew something bizarre was going to happen. This was more of a Blech. Nothing to see here, folks. type of game.

Oh Sneach almost got caught leading off first. Who are these people? Fortunately Nunez made an error, which was comforting. I'm not even kidding. It was like going home and having your mother berate you about not being married. It's annoying, but makes you feel like you're in familiar grounds of home.

Anyways, so let's drink some punch tonight, avoid the sweep, and remember the following:

Si vos es iens per infernum, custodi eundo.