"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Which is a big deal because when you’re almost 7 ft fall, to have that much class density is quite an accomplishment. Seriously, show me a pipsqueak stature who was the picture of social graces—and 

I’ll show you an unimpressed face.

  

The Yankees lost their first series of the season, and that’s ok, because even I, a card-carrying member of the “If You Say Baseball Doesn’t Mean Anything Until July, I’ll Stab You to Death and Play Around in Your Blood, Because EVERY Game is Important” Society

(IYSBDMAUYISY2D&PAIYBBEGiI-S), can’t get too flustered over this.

I attribute a lot of this to David Cone, who entrenched himself firmly in the belief that this was, in fact, an “encouraging” outing from Fatso. He kept saying that to Kay, and here’s the thing: Coney isn’t one of the Pollyanna YES announcers. 

He unapologetically calls ‘em like he sees ‘em, which is just one of the reasons he’s cooler than us. The Yanks were down 6-3 in the 8th and Cone is going on about how awesome Tubbo.com’s start was, and Kay is all, “Yessiree, the Yankees have Toronto RIGHT. WHERE. THEY. WANT ‘EM.” And I said, “I love you, Yes Network. You’re perfect.” 

The Yanks lost in a very Yankee-lose-to-Jays way, in the sense that they once again played a similar game. You got most of the line up making it to base at some point (EXCEPT HEADLY. Man, what has THIS GUY done for us lately, you know?). And you have the big guys coming up with big hits. (Not necessarily “big” as in “clutch,” to be sure. But big as in big I guess?) 

For example, (I’m SOL-ing right now) A-rod. A-ROD! He had a homerun! Remember that guy? He had a big hit to put the Yankees on the board and then right after than Tex did the same thing! And you’re thinking, he come the Yankees!

But then the inning ending, and the scoring ended, too. That tends to happen when you go 1-9 with RISP. Yeah, it should be noted that the game between the Yanks and the Jays was comparable (isssshh) with the very significant exception of the Jays going 3-6 with RISP. 

Hey, you know what else? I’m gonna venture to say with an N of 3 that Toronto has a pretty decent pen. Maybe Toronto will be the “sleeper” team this year for a change. It’s weird how they’re always tagged as this unsuspecting dark horse in the running, when from where I’m standing, they should really be the Hawks, not the Ducks. 

So, the NEXT game for the Yanks is against the BIGGET RIVAL IN THE HISTORY OF SPORTS. And don’t care if everyone rolls their eyes when they say that, because for the rest of my life, I will always get giddy about baseball ESPECIALLY when it’s a weekend, and ESPECIALLY when it’s against the Red Sox. 

If you watched the game tonight you could see that it was not a great crowd in the stands, and for good reason since it was raining and cold. It’s hard to get fired up about shit in that type of situation. But when you got a weekend game, you have the luxury of drinking yourself into that kind of fever pitch. 

And when you’re playing YOUR BIGGEST RIVAL, you have the perk of being fueled by rage. 

We’ll get ‘em next time boys. I have a feeling the Yanks will be making handiwork of the Sux this weekend. 

Verrunt.