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Jamie, Milton, MA: The Bruins need you.... 

SportsNation Bill Simmons: (2:51 PM ET ) I will be there in April. I can't start watching hockey until after March Madness. I am monitoring from afar and couldn't feel more proud for the long suffering fans. The bottom line is that the salary cap has eliminated the franchise's biggest obstacle for the last 30-plus years: The cheap-ass owner. So the B's actually have a shot at winning a Cup.

1.) The fact that Simmons now considers himself a Bruins fan, (and probably an even more hard-core one since he has to "monitor" them all the way from LA. 
2.) The fact he is proud of "long-suffering fans" when the fact is he and probably 70% of Bruin "fans" know damn well they started watching hockey this year. If they just came out and admitted this, I'd be less disgusted. But no, instead I have to be subjected to this manufactured breed of fanaticism.
3.) The fact he attributes the team's lack of success to the lack of salary cap. Which--just watch--will eventually morph into an article from him that frames the Bruins as just another good ol' extension of Boston's blue collar, underdog, homegrown heroes. 
4.) The fact he claims he can't start watching til after March Madness, which COINCIDENTALLY happens to coincide with the playoffs. "I can't start watching until the Bruins are in the playoffs. Then I'll be the President of all Things Bruins, while simulataneously exploiting the "long-suffering fan" marketability."


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