"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

I slept through all of this. Aggressively. Their first win and I woke up to about 23984 ESPN mobile alerts and in my delirium I couldn't made heads nor tails of them. Due largely because of the rampant mentions of Cano and Swisher.

I'm too exhausted to wrap my head around this. In other news, the universe has made it abundantly clear that I am not destined to ever go to Yankee Stadium. When I had tickets to the Cubs-Yanks exhibition game, aka the first ever game in the new stadium EVER, I got stuck in Chicago overnight when my connecting flight decided to do other things other than show up at O'Hare and bring me home to NYC.

"It's ok, it'll just make opening day even better when we go."

Sigh.

I'm sick of the snake pit.