"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

Text message exchanges from today

Kris & Laur:

6:11pm Killing things if the Yanks lose.

6:12pm Too upset over game to function

6:20 TOOK CARE OF IT!!

6:23pm I've decided I need professional help. It's gorgeous out and I'm letting a game do this to me.

6:23 haha i respect that

6:28pm Can the fox announcers have any more of a hard on for the boston bullpen

6:29 maybe if the say they want a papsmear from papelbon?

6:30pm I'm really sad

6:30 um why it is tied. it will be great

6:32pm Bc I'm insane and wish I wasn't

6:33 have faith in the yanks, and if being insane is wrong then I dont want to be right

6:35pm I think this might be half game-related, half not being able to play outside bc of my knee-related

6:52pm Can you make sure they win please

6:52 I'll take care of it

7:06 Garnder should hit a hr instead of getting out...he's risking a patient's life!

7:07 yes that's better than getting out

7:10 I may have a heart attack

7:21pm Well now i'm officially sitting in a dark apt with the tv and lights off. normal.

7:26 !!it's not even over!!

7:26 We're losing by 100

7:34 more like 100 minus 2 zeros

7:33 I hate everything

7:35 If they lose, I"m going to bed til monday

7:36pm :(

7:48 oh mootz! i'm not doing anything do you want me to come over

7:48pm No whatever im sleeping til next week, see ya

7:50 Mootz the game isn't even over! I can tot come ova

7:50pm ok come over

7:51 ok do you need anything

7:51pm yes HRs from yankees

7:53pm I'm sad. I think game is over bc I hear dso's* outside

7:57 Sad about the game??

7:58pm Sound excited. And only sox dso's are that obnoxious

7:58pm I meant why are you sad silly

7:59pm Oh. Yes, I am sad about the game

8:00pm Well i just ask bc I'm sad about the game but its not worth getting THIS sad over

So the moral of the story is, I can't watch games alone anymore. Because the second my sister came over (albeit without the HRs I had requested) everything was fine. When I'm watching a game like that, every time the phone alerts me Im getting a text, it's like playing russian roulette. I could open it and find an asinine text from a Yank-hater, a commiserating text from a fellow lunatic, unwelcome overly optimistic trying-too-hard reassurance from someone who knows nothing about baseball but is just trying to be nice and helpful and unfortunately will most likely be on the receiving end of an angry response from me...(seriously, I know that issues me a ticket on the bullet train to hell, but think about it. When your team's in the throes of potentially devastating outcome, how aggravating are texts like, "Hey it's only a game! No big!" These are fine from people who like sports, but I think I just get jealous when they're from people who have zero interest in sports. They'll never know this kind of unbridled madness.)

So as quickly as my crankiness over the game skyrocketed, it dissolved. As my sister said (who is the foremost authority on saying the right things at the right time), we didn't get blown out. We were banging the ball all over the field. AJ looked good (until he stopped looking good), and Boston's feared pitching staff was getting shelled. (I shouldn't be happy about this, I went against my better judgment and started Beckett. I've had too many situations where I bench people playing against NY to avoid having to root for them, only for NY to lose, and then not only am swallowing that pill, but also the regret of not starting their opponents who had big days.)

Not only did the Yanks lose, but I also have to deal with the 23984.39 ERA from Beckett. Grumble grumble.

My friendly Boston fan (FBF from now on) texted me, "This is a bizarre game." Not only was I thrilled he didn't text me anything gloating, but he pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one. Besides for the bombs, the runs were coming from the weirdest places. Same thing with the outs. Narnia-style game.

Pedroia's stupid error made me think about how if that had happened to Jeter, the rags would be all over him like white on rice: "SEE? HE'S THE LEAGUE'S WORST SS!" (Similarly, if Jeter's brother had pleaded guilty to going down on an 8yr old boy, Boston would be happier than MTV when they got Katelynn Cusanelli's audition tape.) It's a horrible story, it has nothing to do with Dustin himself, but I would be lying if I said the point that we can literally say "Pedroia sucks!" and it not be an opinion but a fact...well, has crossed my mind.

The game was indeed an odd one. Not exactly the same devastation as last night-though technically neither should be since it's an April game! (What the hell is wrong with me, seriously.) And all it took was a visit from my sister, a call to a rooftop party from FBF, and an ice pack on my knee for a few hours, to make the entire day 100% more palatable. And because of this, I'm not even going to go near StatTracker with a 10 foot pole. I have a feeling that with a few notable Yankee exceptions on my roster, that there were some pretty anemic numbers being strewn from my lineups today.

Eh, life is good. I'm slowly but discernibly getting the whole hang of being less radically batty when it comes to baseball. Today, anyway. The Rangers play tomorrow, the Yanks try to avoid the sweep, and I'll be at the office. So maybe the lunacy diet starts Monday instead.

*DSO=Dirty Stay-Out.