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Movin' On Up

Well well well. Fancy seeing you here, Sux. Maybe you shouldn't have written us off so insanely, stupidly, and prematurely.

So after playing like they'd rather be home with Chinese takeout and the Karate Kid on DVR, the Yanks came back to beat the Rangers 9-2, led by AJ Burnett's 6 shutout innings.

Which apparently came from a new trick AJ decided to employ:

"I basically went after them," Burnett said. "I didn't leave anything over the plate. That's a big difference. When you don't make mistakes, they can't capitalize."

Hm. Well, good, AJ. (I'm picturing him in the clubhouse oiling down his mitt, trying to get into game mode, going through Texas's lineup, and then: "Wait a second...YES! It's so simple, it just might work!")

I'm interested to hear what kind of strategy he thought would be effective during the last month of starts. "I don't understand what I'm doing wrong. I hang the ball directly over the plate, I stay far away from the batter's box...and yet, they're still knocking me around."

Wang was perfect in 2 innings, as he sheepishly continues to bust his ass to drain his ERA enough so that it falls below the triple digit mark. I don't why but Wang just strikes me as someone who beats himself up over this and is fairly embarassed about his rocky start and the wild media fanfare surrounding it. Cheer up, little buddy. You looked good out there. And we need someone in relief, so you'll be valuable again in no time.

Tex goes long again. Anyone who even tries to utter word one dismissing the importance of Arod in this line-up is just loony tunes. And he's like a mirror image of Arod's outstanding defense on the other corner of the diamond. I had about 45 heart attacks on top of each last night when I get the following text while I'm still working: "Marky goes byebye." I suppose most people would know this meant homerun. But I wasn't one of them.

And my first thought was that Tex left the Yankees, and I figured the only way he could do this was through dying.

Yeah, I won't be slowed by logic.

Or the fact that it's unlikely that, in the actual event of someone's death, the news would be delivered as "goes byebye." I need to get a grip, and just be thankful the boys are mercifully whacking the ball over the field, and I say mercifully because it just looks so seamless and effortless for them most days.

The Yanks continued shine at the plate and even batted .333 with RISP, though somehow stranded runners 10x.

The big difference I'm seeing is that they all look infinitely more comfortable in their swings, even Matsui.. (especially Matsui yesterday, who contributed 2 longballs to the offensive effort. He's so confusing. I never know what to make of him.)

Speaking of weird Japanese players, Dice-K had himself quite the outing last night. Congrats on setting a new franchise record! 4 wild pitches in one night. And then 2 more from Delcarmen and Masterless. Francona, in a rare moment of head-scratching commentary, noted that their catcher's "Canadian background really came into play because he looked like a goalie." So is the rule that we're allowed to make stereotype jokes about Canadians because they're, well, Canadians? Because I feel like if I said, "Dice K's Japanese background really came into play because he really bombed up there" it would be frowned upon.

Here Dice-K explains what went wrong:

"I was told yesterday that Kottaras would be catching me today, so I was prepared," Matsuzaka said through interpreter Masa Hoshino. "Before the game we talked a little bit about pitch selection and went over what we were going do in the game. But I think sometimes you need a lot of experience to see how you're going to pitch in certain situations to certain hitters. There were cases out there today that our signs didn't match up all the time, or our timing didn't match up, and all that comes from experience."

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that what you had there was a failure to communicate. The thick irony of him breaking down the problem through a translator, and then saying, through a translator, that basically, "Dude, I mean, I talked to Kottaras before the game. Not sure how we got our lines crossed."

Meanwhile, Kottaras had to spend the whole game thinking, "The only thing worse than a wild pitcher is a wild pitcher who can't be calmed with a trip to the mound because I have nothing to say to him. Or rather, lots to say, but nothing communicable."

Ok, how long has Dice-K been gyro-ing around the States? In the last few years, he couldn't just bite the bullet and learn some English? How do catchers talk to them during the game? Charades?

"Ok 2 words. First word...sounds like...hurt? Sore? um ok Bad back? it bigger than a breadbox?? ok um ouch, sick, hurt...uh...Ache..ACHE..bake cake rake break.. BREAK. BREAKING BALL! Ok, great talk. I'll see you out there."

Their loss put us technically in first with them, but since we've yet to beat them, they're actually ahead of us. Which is immaterial, really, because right now, despite ESPN's completely unbiased (cough) Power Rankings, the Yankees are the better team. Much better. The Red Sox offense is laughable. Ortiz has 3 hits in his last 27 at-bats, for a fantastic .111 average.

It's funny, because he was pretty good last year. I wonder what happened. But it's ALMOST like he's cursed or something.

Maybe burying the guy's jersey in GNH's backfired.

Or maybe the Yankee Stadium construction worker accidentally buried Ortiz with it.


  1. NY Sports Jerk said...
    Good stuff on Dice K, though I'll point out that Matsui had his translator "Roger" there for his postgame interview with Kim Jones last night, and he's been here a hell of a lot longer than the Red Sox $103 million man.
    Crazy Yankee Chick said...
    Haha I know, I don't like it any more when Godzilla does it either. But I can't complain abt the guy after he hits 2 hrs.

    Frankly, I don't get what the big deal is--why can't they just f'n learn the language?? Or more aptly, how is it feasibly possible for them to NOT have learned it, if only be inadvertant immersion. I'd think it'd almost be harder to NOT learn English. Like you have to make a concerted effort to anglo-cockblock english from your mind.

    Besides, if they learned English, maybe someone would let them do one of those Essay-Ah-Pay commericals, like Posada. Only in Japanese.
    Mother Goose said...
    Lol I had every intention of opening the lines of communication with a Yankees fan over a mutual enjoyment of American Psycho, even as a diehard Red Sox fan. Obviously I am unable to comment on Dice K or his current situation because doing so would mean having an opinion. Sox nation prohibits such acts. We would rather reserve our opinions until October during our annual campaign for the AL championship. Take it easy Yankee. Go easy on us. Afterall, we did get rid of Manny.

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