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If the Yankees never play another &^%ing west coast game, it'll be too soon.

I'm not sure why this run in particular has been so trying, I've seen them play hundreds of Cali/Seattle games, but for some reason, this time it's been kicking my ass.

But they won. Thank you.

In the hours prior to the aggravating 10pm start, I demonstrated my complete lack of normal adult interests by racing to Best Buy to get The Last House on the Left DVD, which was released today. Contrary to what I had thought, they were not, in fact, sold out, and there wasn't a line snaking around 86th street to purchase one of the most disturbing horror flicks I've ever seen. Though still not as much so as the original, whose trailer alone is weird enough to give me chills.

I can't imagine what the cashier was thinking when I marched up and resolutely set the DVD on the countertop, probably looking aggressive as I am want to do, and looking all the more sociopathic with my CYC and the Amazing Technicolor Eye Bruise adding that extra touch of class. (It's gone from black to blue to purple to green...and today has settled on a PMS shade known as Dwight Schrute's Button Downs.)

So by the time the game started, I was sufficiently unhinged and unnerved and disturbed, that should the Yanks have another Tomko-like slaying, at least it wouldn't be the worst thing I'd see all night.

For the first innings, I was somewhat happy I had just watched 2 hours of uncomfortable macabre. Because it took my mind off the fact the Yankees haven't looked any better in the last 20 innings.

Perhaps the most unsettling aspect of the night, actually, was the absence of a "Fatso strugglin" text from Kevin. CC let up 2 solos in the first 2, and I'm thinking I wasn't the only fan who started getting discernibly agitated.

By the time the 4th inning rolls around, I'm considering throwing on Saw to watch something less horrifying, specifically the part in the 4th inning when round boy loads the bases.

But me of little faith. He gets out of it, someone feeds him, and he's dealing for the next 4.

Another thing I'm not going to miss when this series is done? The wild preoccupation with CC's relationship with this town. Did you know he used to live there? It's true. But you probably didn't hear that he's historically pitched poorly against them? No? Not brand new information, huh. Irony! His home town! His poor record!

One of these days I'm gonna put together a comprehensive list of stock items that sports journalists/broadcasters are hopelessly addicted to, ie the CC/oakland bit. Others include:

  • "Jim Thome/Sean Casey/Tony Clark/Jason of the nicest guys in all of baseball."

  • Anything banal commentary on Wafefield's knuckleball, the difficulty in catching it, and the implications of having one-pitch pitcher, his battery mate, etc. Never gets old, NESN.

  • "And you NEVER want to walk the lead batter."

  • "And now that homerun in the ___ is really looming large..."

  • Anyone know who hit for the cycle before Melky?

  • "And, ya know, Jeter never argues balls and strikes."

  • etc etc etc

    Anyways. I digress.

    Maybe the kooky CC-Oakland tie will simmer down a bit, after CC uncharacteristically knocked Suzuki back off the plate. Amazing pitch there, ace. Just enough to mean business. And just enough to be a clear retaliation against ARod's 11,230,923,088th HBP. But then Suzuki took a page out of Tomko's book and let us have it by drilling the next one out of the park.

    CC looks better and better because he's adapting more seamlessly and consequently figuring out how to minimize his pitches thrown. Which is exactly 100% what we need from our ace right now. Long outings that are low on tosses.

    94 pitches in 8 IP, 7Ks. I'll take it. In spades. Nice work, Safattia.

    Our offense clearly was doing that thing when you get into work at 9:30 but spend the first 2 and a half hours checking and rechecking email, catching up on scores, etc..pretty much just to "get settled in" before you can start doing actual work.

    For the Yanks, this means coming into the "office" and spending the first 4 innings on Youtube aka not on base. Then someone I guess popped his head into their cubicle, forcing them all to minimize their facebooks: "Hey, just checking in to see what the status was of that brief on SCORING SOME F'ING RUNS."

    The 6th inning was important not just for the game, but to remind the Yanks that this is what they can look like when tbey dial in. And that you gotta play that 6th inning ballgame every game. And preferrably start doing so in the beginning innings (beginnings).

    Just as odd the absence of the fatso struggling text, the absence of Cano's bat was far stranger. I mean, considering he is the reigning MVP and batting title champion in the world devoid of RISP stats, he didn't really do so hot today.

    A big 0 for 5. 0 for 2 with RISP isn't anything new, but 0-3 with no runners? Bad knowledge, Robbie. That goes for ending the 6th inning rally, too. To be honest, it was the worst I've seen from you in a while.

    Robbie should perhaps be comforted (I guess) by the lackluster Tex bat today. 0 for 4. Including bases loaded, inning ending DP.

    YOU'RE LUCKY JETER'S THERE TO KEEP IT ALL TOGETHER! If ever there was a team that was in dire need of leadership and encouragement and support, it is obviously (joking, joking)..there's no chance lance it's the 2009 Yankees. But I like the continuing efforts, Jeter.

    Nice to know SOMEONE is taking their job seriously and not doing little paper fortune teller things and otherwise slacking.

    David Robertson. You're a good egg. You're doing a fantastic job in your role, and I like you because you used to suck and then improved. I got a place in my heart for the whole practice makes perfect thing.

    And God knows Girardi didn't make it easy for you.

    Hm. Joe Girardi, though slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can serve a purpose!

    Robertson came in to close out the game, blanked 2, walked as many, and allowed no hits. I say this in the most innucuous way possible, but the way he conducts business up there, and the way he carries himself, reminds me a little of Mo. Maybe that's why I like him so much.

    Additional thoughts on today:

    • The Yankees couldn't go deep again, for the 2nd game in a row. Does anyone know their record in games they hit HRs? I remember last year they had some stat like that for Evan Longorio, and the Rays only won if he get paper,, Put that in the Hackneyed Phrase bucket as things I'll figure out later.

    • "Kennedy had his first career four strikeout game and also committed an error." Very, um, good. Just..don't rush anything. Take as much time as you need down there.

    • "Girardi spent the morning watching a joint practice between the Oakland Raiders and San Francisco 49ers as a guest of Niners coach Mike Singletary. Girardi met former Raiders coach John Madden and owner Al Davis. "Mr. Davis told me to tell Mr. Steinbrenner, 'Hi," Girardi said." Hope he's able to crack that code, Joe. Must be an inside joke from high school or something. "Hi." Cryptic.

    And lastly, I like the fact that Mo, as of yesterday, has started sleeping in an appropriate spot, if not potentially uncomfortable. But I guess he'd rather show his support, with pre-season underway, then concern himself with the likes of things like finding a spot on the floor the sun hits. Not easy being Mo.

    ALSO, not easy falling asleep with the sun exploding through my window, so if for no other reason, I'm hitting the hay so I'll still technically be going to bed when it's dark out, which validates it.

    Tomorrow is mercifully the last game across the country for a while. Gaudin vs Anderson. It'll either be the equivalent of a 2 5th graders going back and forth in the final round of the school spelling bee, or the equivalent of the final scene of Teen Wolf. What a delightfully intriguing matchup! Sort of.

    Ok, then. I'm out. Goodnight, moon.


    1. Carlos E said...
      Creepy movie recs:

      - Audition (Japanese)
      - Martyrs (French)
      Crazy Yankee Chick said...
      oooh thanks! I've been thinking I may have exhausted the english market of horror flicks and it may be time to explore the world of subtitles.. which ones better?

      (I think it's kinda funny, kinda sad that I've established myself as this gung ho about this particular "class" of movies. Talk about misnomer..)
      Carlos E said...
      I think Audition is better. The Japanese have been making creepy movies for a while; the cheese eating surrender monkeys are just getting started.

      A little trailer action for ya:

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