"It's great to be young and a Yankee."

"Are you watching this?"
"Watching what?"
"Every single channel has the State of the Union on. How do you not know this?"
"Not every channel."
"Kristen."
"I'm doing laundry."
"At 10pm?"
"I'm...washing my hair. I don't know."

So I eventually did begrudgingly watch the second half of the SotU, and it just reaffirmed why I keep a good galaxy's worth of distance between me and politics. I had no idea what he was talking about. I didn't even know who the 2 people were sitting behind him, though I did sympathize with the one (Joe Biden) who looked like he'd been comatose for about 45 minutes.

And at the conclusion of the speech, (after I figured out via closed captioning that he wasn't saying, "I don't twit" but rather "I don't quit"), I felt unduly dissatisfied.

HOW THE HELL DO YOU GIVE A STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS WITHOUT EVER ONCE MENTIONING THE STATUS OF THE YANKEES' OUTFIELD??

I'm not even remotely kidding.

Seriously. Randy Winn becomes a Yankee, Johnny Damon is ousted, and no one brings this up. And ok, yes, I understand this, but if baseball can't be touched upon in the state of the union, then it's not fair that Obama is allowed to infiltrate our pasttime at his leisure.

Whatever, I've gone nearly 29 years without any working knowledge of politics, and I'm doing ok so far, and at this point, it'd be like deciding now would be a good time to get into "Lost."

I split the difference and put on the Real World, since it takes place in D.C. (And as an aside, some film splicing genius needs to made a montage of all the people on the Real World who affirm in their confessionals that they "never get close to anyone because they're scared of getting hurt" or "I put up walls and never open up to anyone." Really? Because from where I'm sitting, it would appear that volunteering to broadcast your private life on television for 6 months would demonstrate an ostensible willingness to "open up to people.")

Bah, I digress. Back to more important matters at hand...

Randy Winn replaces Johnny Damon in the outfield.

He came cheap, at $2 million for 1-year. Betty finally winns one over Veronica.

I came back from physical therapy today to find my phone on my desk blinking with 5 text messages, and 3 new IMs windows populating my screen.

ALL of them said the EXACT same thing. Verbatim:

"Randy Winn?? Really??"

(Well, except for the one from Kevin, who wrote, "Why did the Yankees trade Nady?")

I know I'm supposed to be all sputtering expletives about this move, flapping my arms, crying, "Wha?? Why?? WTF, brass??"

But I'm not.

Thanks to the MLB Extra Innings package and my penchant for binge add/dropping in fantasy leagues, I'm fairly familiar with this guy.

And I think I'm on board with it.

Throughout the offseason, the Yankees PTB have made some questionable moves...or so it seemed, but by the time the dust had settled on the Granderson trade, it was starting to become obvious the motives fueling their decisions. A method to their madness, perhaps.

The 2011 free agent market is a murderer's row of awesome. And despite popular belief, the NYY aren't made of money. (Such a classic case of damned if you do, damned if you don't. They pinch pennies and everyone guffaws, they hemorrhage cash and everyone seethes.)

Carl Crawford, for one, my all-time favorite fantasy pick, the one guy who I feel I have an unofficial staked claim on every year. The Yankees are picking up better than average players relatively cheap, but more importantly, for only 1 year deals. Not unlike a chick picking up a summer fling in between breaking up with her high school boyfriend, and before starting her freshman year of college.

In terms of Damon and Nady, Damon got a low-ball offer, but even that was more than the Yanks wanted to spend. Boras went all in on a flush, and ended up losing to a guy with pocket 9's. Way to play your cards, dude. First A-Rod, now this. You got Bob Sugar fate written all over you...

Nady, now a Cubbie, was dealt for reasons that I can only speculate have to do with potential injury liability. I actually don't even know why I'm speculating on this, beyond speaking to Kevin's text query, but seeing as he's the same guy who reveres this future HOF-er, I'm not 100% in lockstep with his concerns.

I get where people are concerned about Winn, though. He didn't exactly have a banner year last year, and at 35, he's not necessarily guaranteed any kind of a "give him a chance, he'll rebound!" latitude. He's basically your textbook definition of Mendoza Line kind of guy. He only offers any kind of value IF he returns to 2008 form, in which case he's pretty fast, pretty good defensively, and pretty consistent as a switch hitter, with an acceptable .286 career BA.

HOWEVAH, if he doesn't return? We basically just have an extra body to convert oxygen. His OBP last year was .318, with an embarrassingly high strike out rate. I don't think he lost much of a step on defense, but his discernible decline in offense can eclipse that.

And here's why I'm okay with that: that's all we really need right now. So net net: his value isn't in his utility as an athlete, his value is in his ability to save the Yanks' some $. It's only a 1-year contract, and we got him dirt cheap, and that gives us some breathing room when the hunt for big free agents commences.

And who knows, maybe the lovely RF porch will bode well for Mr. Winn. If not though, a cost-efficient 4th OF who can provide late inning defense isn't the worst thing in the world. Think of it this way: the old Yanks' would have shelled out 3 times that much for a multiple year contract for someone like Rick Ankiel. The new Yanks, contrastly, are methodical. And like any patient serial killer knows, this is paramount to a successful reign as a lethal terror.